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Frustrated - "you don't like my kid"

Posted by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 9:00 PM
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I HATE when a parent says that! I have a parent who's son is in my 2nd grade class. She has called for a meeting with me AND our assistant principal because she feels I am lying about her sons behavior in class and that I just don't like him. I have had multiple conversations when her son had behavior issues. The issues were anywhere from talkative to not following directions and a few hands and feet violations. I have also informed her that he is not doing his work in class and is missing assignments but apparently I just don't like him.

Now I have to defend myself to my principal, which I can do! I sent home a letter two weeks ago that kids were not able to clip up once they clipped down until behavior in our class improved. The kids needed to know that their parents would see that they were not behaving at some point during the day because I do let them go up and down. I told the parents they may see a difference in what is being reported because of that. But no, I just hate her kid.

If you have an issue with your child's teacher PLEASE call a conference with them first! There may be a perfectly good explanation for what is happening and it isn't always because they can't stand your kid!
by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 9:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 9:02 PM
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It's the "not my snowflake" syndrome. SMH My hat is off to you!!

frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 9:47 PM

Kudos to you for remaining in the teaching field.   I can not stand when people automatically think it is all on the teacher when there are bad behaviors or choices made in school.   We are lucky that we can communicate with dd's teacher almost all the time if there is an issue going on.  Our latest problem has been students handing out invites during classtime and dd not getting one.  I talked with her teacher on how to best handle this which apparently I did correctly when i told her my solution.

geekymom08
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 10:25 PM
4 moms liked this
The "my precious snowflake" syndrome always makes me mad. If more people would communicate with their child's teacher instead of blaming the teacher for a load of crap, the world would be a better place!
Txlisa7969
by Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 12:14 AM

And THIS is why there are children at my older girl's Jr. High and High school cursing out and threatening their teachers.  Because they were never held responsible for their own behaviors when they were in primary or elementary school.  My kiddos know their conduct grade is just as important to me as their academic grades.  It's no wonder teachers are leaving the profession in droves. 


Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:29 AM
1 mom liked this

OK - be real and admit you HAVE had kids you just don't like for one reason or another. We are all human and kid or not, there are personalities that clash.

My best friend's DD is one of those, we became friends when her DD was about 6-7yo and she is now 13. I love my BFF to death and would do anything for her kids, but her DD pushes all my buttons. She MUST have the last word on EVERYTHING. Her comments often come across rude,even when speaking to adults but I don't think she really means them to be insulting, she just doesn't have a good mouth filter.  She tries to act silly to the point of it being annoying and we just do NOT get along.

 She was in my GS Troop and I made a point to do all I could to "like" her, not just tolerate her and I just CAN'T.  She is currently in another youth program I am an advisor for and we have come to an understanding and we relate well in a professional manner, to where we are courteous to each other and make it work. 

BUT, as awful as this sounds, she and I will never mesh.

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

CarlysMommy1
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:50 AM
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That does sound frustrating. Sounds like you're dealing with SSS (Special Snowflake Syndrome).

My 7 year old DD was complaining to me last week that she didn't like her teacher and that she was mean. Her teacher is new to the school and was hired 6 weeks into the year because classes were too large. DD was moved into her classroom and loved her for the first 2-3 weeks. After a couple of days of complaints and not getting much more info from my DD, I decided to call her teacher to touch base and find out what was going on. I was UNpleasantly surprised to hear that DD had been goofing off, playing with things in her desk and not following directions. Needless to say, I had a talk with DD and explained that if she just does what she's supposed to be doing that her teacher won't have to stop to correct her behavior and that will result in everybody being happier. I made sure to let DD know that her teacher and I will be communicating frequently and if there's ever any questions or problems we won't hesitate to pick up the phone to discuss it with each other right away. DD knows that she won't be getting away with anything now. :)

I love DD and want to be able to trust her, but I'm not an idiot. She's a good girl and I'll always support her 100% if I feel like she's being treated unfairly, but I know she's not an angel all of the time. I made sure that DD understands that she's responsible for her behavior and she doesn't get to blame others when she makes poor choices.
endurablemist
by Crystal on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:40 AM
Sorry this parent is making you go through this. I am lucky to have never had any issues with a teacher. If I would though I know I would go to her first to work through whatever issues I have.
maxswolfsuit
by Max on Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:28 AM

Funny, I am having a very similar issue. 

When I spoke the parent at conference about some areas where the child could improve that was interpreted as me not liking him. So even though I said a dozen glowing wonderful things, the fact that I don't think he's perfect is a bad thing. 

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:34 AM
4 moms liked this

In all 100% totally honesty I can't say I've ever had a student I disliked

Of course there are kids that drive me nuts and there are certain things I don't like about them. But that doesn't mean I dislike the child. I care about every one of them and see positives in all of them. Part of being a teacher is learning to do that.   The training we get on child development and disabilities helps us understand why kids do the annoying things they do. That makes it a lot easier to like them while they still drive me nuts. 

Of course there are many teachers who dislike some of their students. But many, if not most, teachers really like kids.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

OK - be real and admit you HAVE had kids you just don't like for one reason or another. We are all human and kid or not, there are personalities that clash.

My best friend's DD is one of those, we became friends when her DD was about 6-7yo and she is now 13. I love my BFF to death and would do anything for her kids, but her DD pushes all my buttons. She MUST have the last word on EVERYTHING. Her comments often come across rude,even when speaking to adults but I don't think she really means them to be insulting, she just doesn't have a good mouth filter.  She tries to act silly to the point of it being annoying and we just do NOT get along.

 She was in my GS Troop and I made a point to do all I could to "like" her, not just tolerate her and I just CAN'T.  She is currently in another youth program I am an advisor for and we have come to an understanding and we relate well in a professional manner, to where we are courteous to each other and make it work. 

BUT, as awful as this sounds, she and I will never mesh.


RMC007
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:54 AM
1 mom liked this

I hate that too. I have 3 students in my class that I give N's to every single week for conduct. Normally, my students with the most challenging behaviors are my favorite students. When I go out of my way to build a relationship with a child, give up my lunch to eat with that child, stay after school to call the parent to report the behavior, and work hard everyday to help the child get the best education possible, and all the parent has to say is, "You just don't like my kid".......It makes me no longer want to even try with that child.

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