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"snowflake" reference is kind of rude

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:52 AM
  • 54 Replies
2 moms liked this

I am not sure who coined the term "precious little snowflake" on here when referring sarcastically to other ppls children but its getting kind of old and is also a little rude. I absolutely know who my kid is and am not in denial about her behaviors and what she is capable of doing in a negative aspect as well as a positive one. I may be occasionally to quick to think my dd is the instigator in childhood disagreements b/c her history of disagreeing so please don't respond with I am in denial as to what my child does and doesnt do. I know kids can misinterpret situations and get information wrong and some kids can and do flat out lie but that isnt the point of my post. IMO when I read teachers on here using this term in a sarcastic manner to refer to other ppls children it just makes you sound jaded and like you have been in this profession a little to long. You may have come across tons of parents who fit what you are describing to a "T" but it is not professional or appropriate. It is confusing to hear one post where parents are getting bashed for not being involved more in their childs education and then in a matter of minutes another post saying parents are too involved. Everyone is different and not everyone fits into what "your" views of good parenting looks like. Just b/c you see something a certain way doesn't mean that is the best way...it may be the best for YOU but no one on here has a right to judge how someone else parents we are all doing the best we can whether you think so or not. I wish ppl could just try to put yourself in someone elses shoes and show a little compassion every now and thenl. 

by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TroyboysMom
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 5:45 AM
9 moms liked this
While I understand your frustration, I think you should know that the term wasn't coined on Cafemom - it's been around for quite some time, wholly separate from CM.

While I don't necessarily condone the usage, no one here is truly posting in a professional capacity-giving advice within the scope of their knowledge, and identifying their professional capacity as support, sure, but in truly a professional capacity, no. That alone would be unprofessional.

The women who come here come as other women, and vent about their positions just like others do. Thier jobs just haopen to deal with children. You as a parent undoubtedly get frustrated with your dc occasionally, and in a public school setting, that teacher spends more time with your child daily than you do - or at least close, and that's twenty times over or more, depending on how many students are in the room. That teacher also has an incredibly packed agenda. When dealing with that, and then dealing with parents who have expectations that are more suited to a 1:1 environment, versus what you have, wouldn't you be frustrated?

A teacher is a person just like any other person, and the expectation that a teacher should be "on" all the time so that other feel validated in their choices is unreasonable.

You're saying that you don't like the judgment call that some children cam be hard to deal with, or that parenting choices may be judged. In almost the same breath, you make a judgment that a teacher is burned out who makes that kind of statement. People make judgments - your parenting and child and you will be judged daily, whether you like it or not. That isn't to say it is right, but it does and will happen. People do that, and teachers are people. Some are more prone to doing so than others.

Now, I don't know your history, and it sounds like someone said something that hurt your feelings. You're asking for compassion from many who would also ask for the same - so possibly take that into consideration, as well. Effective education is about balance, on both the parents' part as well as the teachers.
JerseySunshine
by New Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 5:57 AM
My kids have been referred to in a racist sense as" snowball" and that is what I was expecting this post to be about. My bad.
Cindy18
by Cruella on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:20 AM
4 moms liked this

This is were I have an issue with your statement....

When you put your issues on a public website, you open yourself to EVERYONE judging you. PERIOD. This is a public site where no one knows anything about you except for what you post. So when you put part of your life on here and then get your panties in a twist because you get opinions about you that are most definitely NOT accurate because, of course, we don't know the whole story, IMHO, that's your fault. YOU put yourself in that situation. 

Also when you ask for my opinion and then get upset because I JUDGED you, my opinion isn't necessarily judgmental. It's just my opinion, if you take it negatively, again YOUR problem not mine.

Quoting MsLogansMommy:

I am not sure who coined the term "precious little snowflake" on here when referring sarcastically to other ppls children but its getting kind of old and is also a little rude. I absolutely know who my kid is and am not in denial about her behaviors and what she is capable of doing in a negative aspect as well as a positive one. I may be occasionally to quick to think my dd is the instigator in childhood disagreements b/c her history of disagreeing so please don't respond with I am in denial as to what my child does and doesnt do. I know kids can misinterpret situations and get information wrong and some kids can and do flat out lie but that isnt the point of my post. IMO when I read teachers on here using this term in a sarcastic manner to refer to other ppls children it just makes you sound jaded and like you have been in this profession a little to long. You may have come across tons of parents who fit what you are describing to a "T" but it is not professional or appropriate. It is confusing to hear one post where parents are getting bashed for not being involved more in their childs education and then in a matter of minutes another post saying parents are too involved. Everyone is different and not everyone fits into what "your" views of good parenting looks like. Just b/c you see something a certain way doesn't mean that is the best way...it may be the best for YOU but no one on here has a right to judge how someone else parents we are all doing the best we can whether you think so or not. I wish ppl could just try to put yourself in someone elses shoes and show a little compassion every now and thenl. 


mjande4
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 8:05 AM
6 moms liked this

I'm a mother FIRST and a teacher somewhere after wife, etc.  My judgements of parents generally come from outside of school like on the ball fields etc.  If you think that ONLY teachers refer to kids as "snowflakes", then you need to get outside and circulate a little more.  The internet is a public forum.  If you don't like to get your feelings hurt, then don't post.  End of story.

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 8:24 AM
3 moms liked this

As defined by the Urban Dictionary:

1. special snowflake
A member of that newly-adult, me'er-than-me generation which expects attention and praise just for being themselves -- doing anything to deserve it is completely optional.
Oh, he's too much of special snowflake to get a day job -- his mom's paying the rent while he hangs out waiting for the perfect high-paying project to come along. I guess the market for C-minus filmmaking majors is a little soft right now or something.
2. special snowflake
A problem person. A person who thinks they are unique, different and therefor more special that everyone else. Derived from too many parents telling their kids they are "special," like a "snowflake." Typically used by used by those in the customer service or retail industry to refer to bad customers.
That lady was a special snowflake, in a blizzard of other special snowflakes; shes unique, just like everyone else.
3. Special Snowflake
Often found on popular internet forums as an option to a poll, the "Snowflake" option refers to individuals whose answers, experiences, and opinions are as unique as a snowflake, and therefore cannot be categorized into one of the regular poll options.

Can also appear as just "snowflake.
4. Special Snowflake
Someone who believes they deserve the stars because they like something no one else likes, or does something no one else does. There is no know cure for SSS (Special Snowflake Syndrome), so the rest of the world must deal with these sort of people until they realize they aren't better than anyone else, and they don't need an award or a cookie for their interests. Not to be confused with a hipster.
A special snowflake: "I liked My Chemical Romance before Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge! Love me."
5. Special Snowflake
A product created specifically for a customer or client who cannot or will not conform their requirements or needs to the general specifications of the product's capabilities causing said vendor to customize uniqueness to an established product thereby creating more work, time, energy, and effort to be expended on the vendor's employees' part; often for features that will not be utilized or have only minimal benefit to the requester.
Widget-Makers, Inc. would like the product to come in a cornflower blue icon. So we'll have to develop the whole thing again. So this version will be, yet again, another
6. Special Snowflake
Special Snowflake Syndrome (also known as Speshul Snowflake) is a psychological phenomen of Generation Y, where the people suffering from it seem to live under the illusion that they are special for doing things that are stereotypically considered "lame" or childish, like drinking through a funny-straw or building forts. More often than not they are in High School (though it's not uncommon to find them on college campuses also) and are recognized by the way that they condemn their peers for drinking and partying and whoring around, whereas they're preserving their childhood innocence and being original by watching cartoons and still cutting the crust off their sandwiches. They are also known as the First Form of Hipster.
While all my other classmates are out getting shitfaced at parties and sleeping around, I built a fort out of pillows and blankets in my bedroom and had a Lion King Marathon (because Lion King is like, awesome) while eating cereal. I am such a special snowflake.


Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

I actually had a parent explain to me once how children are like snowflakes.  That was fun.

It was actually rather like preaching to the choir.  Nobody understands and appreciates the special-ness of individual children like good teachers do.

But it doesn't change the fact that snowflakes are supposed to fall to earth occasionally.  If a snowflake is orbiting the moon then we, as adults and caregivers, need to fix something so it can pass a spelling test every now and again.

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:41 AM

OMG!  How did you keep a straight face!?


Quoting Bieg9093:

I actually had a parent explain to me once how children are like snowflakes.  That was fun.

It was actually rather like preaching to the choir.  Nobody understands and appreciates the special-ness of individual children like good teachers do.

But it doesn't change the fact that snowflakes are supposed to fall to earth occasionally.  If a snowflake is orbiting the moon then we, as adults and caregivers, need to fix something so it can pass a spelling test every now and again.



Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 12:05 PM

 It was before I'd ever heard the "precious snowflake" metaphor. 

Quoting mjande4:

OMG!  How did you keep a straight face!?

 

Quoting Bieg9093:

I actually had a parent explain to me once how children are like snowflakes.  That was fun.

It was actually rather like preaching to the choir.  Nobody understands and appreciates the special-ness of individual children like good teachers do.

But it doesn't change the fact that snowflakes are supposed to fall to earth occasionally.  If a snowflake is orbiting the moon then we, as adults and caregivers, need to fix something so it can pass a spelling test every now and again.

 

 

 

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Did you know...if you kiss a special snowflake...they melt!
Or at least mine do :)
MsLogansMommy
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 12:44 PM


You make a lot of valid points and your post was worded very considerate and respectful some ppl on here are not as polite. My post isn't actually about me so no one said anything that "hurt my feelings" my self esteem and confidence aren't easily shattered by strangers on the internet. I just got tired of reading it and I know that there are young mothers on here that are looking for support and consideration and don't always have the confidence to speak up about how rude some of these ladies can be. I completely agree that teachers have a hard job and I would never go into that profession b/c of the reasons you named and b/c I know who I am and what my limitations are but I do hold teachers to a higher standard and that should be taken as a compliment. I am not the kind of parent who teachers would use that term with I have never asked for any kind of special treatment for my child I am always fair in my dealings with teachers and everyone else for that matter. I know the kind of parents that you are talking about and I understand the motives behind their "snowflake" treating actions and you are right I probably do judge like everyone else but I also try to be kind in my dealings with ppl whether I agree with them or not.

Quoting TroyboysMom:

While I understand your frustration, I think you should know that the term wasn't coined on Cafemom - it's been around for quite some time, wholly separate from CM.

While I don't necessarily condone the usage, no one here is truly posting in a professional capacity-giving advice within the scope of their knowledge, and identifying their professional capacity as support, sure, but in truly a professional capacity, no. That alone would be unprofessional.

The women who come here come as other women, and vent about their positions just like others do. Thier jobs just haopen to deal with children. You as a parent undoubtedly get frustrated with your dc occasionally, and in a public school setting, that teacher spends more time with your child daily than you do - or at least close, and that's twenty times over or more, depending on how many students are in the room. That teacher also has an incredibly packed agenda. When dealing with that, and then dealing with parents who have expectations that are more suited to a 1:1 environment, versus what you have, wouldn't you be frustrated?

A teacher is a person just like any other person, and the expectation that a teacher should be "on" all the time so that other feel validated in their choices is unreasonable.

You're saying that you don't like the judgment call that some children cam be hard to deal with, or that parenting choices may be judged. In almost the same breath, you make a judgment that a teacher is burned out who makes that kind of statement. People make judgments - your parenting and child and you will be judged daily, whether you like it or not. That isn't to say it is right, but it does and will happen. People do that, and teachers are people. Some are more prone to doing so than others.

Now, I don't know your history, and it sounds like someone said something that hurt your feelings. You're asking for compassion from many who would also ask for the same - so possibly take that into consideration, as well. Effective education is about balance, on both the parents' part as well as the teachers.



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