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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Discipline when she back talks

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 7:51 PM
  • 45 Replies

I need help disciplining my 11 year old daughter. When she back talks me and is sassy...I don't know what to do. I've tried taking things away but that didn't work and I'm trying time out (but that seems to childish for her)

Help...any thoughts??!!!

by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 7:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommaFruFru
by Gold Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Writing sentences? Scrubbing base boards?
HarleyMom1012
by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:26 PM

Oohhhh I like the writing sentences :)

Impressionists
by Bronze Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:29 PM
Reminds me of Little House on the Prairie! Lol

I think its s good idea, too.


Quoting HarleyMom1012:

Oohhhh I like the writing sentences :)


KRIZZ25
by Bronze Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:29 PM
1 mom liked this
i got same issues..i make em do more chores wen thy do that .
mommaFruFru
by Gold Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:31 PM
1 mom liked this
My mom made me write paragraphs,and definition from dictionary or Encyclopedia as well.
Especiallyif I used hateful language. I told her I hated her,and had to write the definitionof hate 100 times


Quoting HarleyMom1012:

Oohhhh I like the writing sentences :)

MentorMom1
by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:41 PM
3 moms liked this

Misbehavior is almost always a symptom of something else going on.

I would slow down the pace with this child. Give her lots of eye-contact and focused attention. Tell her your family does not use sassy language. And then model the way you want her to interact with you.

I would also think about who her friends are. Is she spending enough time with you and under your guidance? Or is she hanging out a lot with angry peers? I mean kids who aren't getting enough parental time and attention.

To me, this seems like angry behavior. Not her true self. The daughter you love is in there, rest assured.

You might check out child psychiatrist Ross Campbell's book, How to Really Love Your Child. It gets to the root of a lot of this behavior. It's the book I recommend to parents most often.

It's a quick read, with three concrete parenting tools that made an immediate difference for me and my kids.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:41 PM
9 moms liked this
I know many will bash this but I broke down and smacked 10yo DD's butt about two weeks ago. Before that it had been years.

Ive been talking to her about her sass, had sent her to the corner, had her write sentences, removed privileges, etc. Nothing was working.

DH was standing there when she did it and I think if I hadnt he would have and that would have been really bad.

She got two swats on her clothed bottom then sent to the bathroom to splash some water on her face and calm down. She hasn't sassed since.

Not.saying that is the answer for OP but it sure cured DD.
HarleyMom1012
by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:48 PM

 

I have talked with her on her attitude at my house..so she knows what I expect.

She is having issues with girls at school so that might be part of it.

And she has always had issues with angry behavior..but it seems to have gotten worse as she gets older.

Quoting MentorMom1:

Misbehavior is almost always a symptom of something else going on.

I would slow down the pace with this child. Give her lots of eye-contact and focused attention. Tell her your family does not use sassy language. And then model the way you want her to interact with you.

I would also think about who her friends are. Is she spending enough time with you and under your guidance? Or is she hanging out a lot with angry peers? I mean kids who aren't getting enough parental time and attention.

To me, this seems like angry behavior. Not her true self. The daughter you love is in there, rest assured.

You might check out child psychiatrist Ross Campbell's book, How to Really Love Your Child. It gets to the root of a lot of this behavior. It's the book I recommend to parents most often.

It's a quick read, with three concrete parenting tools that made an immediate difference for me and my kids.


 

M4LG5
by Gold Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 8:56 PM
Its also a very typical trait of a tween.

OP ....its normal behavior. I'm not saying its ok....its just normal. Have boundaries and consequences and follow through every single time


Quoting MentorMom1:

Misbehavior is almost always a symptom of something else going on.

I would slow down the pace with this child. Give her lots of eye-contact and focused attention. Tell her your family does not use sassy language. And then model the way you want her to interact with you.

I would also think about who her friends are. Is she spending enough time with you and under your guidance? Or is she hanging out a lot with angry peers? I mean kids who aren't getting enough parental time and attention.

To me, this seems like angry behavior. Not her true self. The daughter you love is in there, rest assured.

You might check out child psychiatrist Ross Campbell's book, How to Really Love Your Child. It gets to the root of a lot of this behavior. It's the book I recommend to parents most often.

It's a quick read, with three concrete parenting tools that made an immediate difference for me and my kids.

M4LG5
by Gold Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 9:00 PM
Also, I use time out but I don't call it that and its not the discipline of her actions. I use it to stop current behavior, let things settle in order to get to a point to talk rationally. If I try to talk with her as she is behaving in a certain way, nothing gets accomplished. I send her to her room to calm her down.....and me.....in order to straighten out the behavior.
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