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PTA Nightmare Stories

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 5:50 PM
  • 105 Replies
2 moms liked this

 Ok, Moms ... Help me with this one.   At the start of the school year, I had every intention of being involved with PTA because I felt it was the right thing to do for my child and the school.  However, since the start of the school year, my husband and I have become so incredibly busy that I do not have even a minute to spare.

The PTA started becoming a bit demanding ... last minute text messages and calls asking for help.  Unfortunately, it was always when I wasn't able to help.  I eventually had to withdraw my offer to help because I realized I had bitten off more than I could chew. 

Since telling the PTA that I wasn't able to help and apologizing, I have felt completely shunned and disregarded.  These people have basically stopped speaking to me or even recognizing me on social media. (I haven't yet deleted them from social media because I fear the fallout of that too).   I have read a lot of horror stories about PTA's but this confirms why working mothers have no interest in getting involved.  PTAs really are a "leftover" from the 1950s when moms stayed home.  The current generation of PTA moms just do not realize how difficult it is to work full-time, raise a family, and meet all the demands of life. 

It is a sad reality but I now know why PTA has the reputation it does and why many moms stay as far away as possible.

What are your thoughts on this?

by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 5:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ramita
by Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 5:54 PM
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I think people get mad when they don't get their way, and they band together in groups. If you're not part of the group then you get shunned. It sucks, but I've seen it all my life. Sorry you're having to deal with that.
diaperstodating
by Angel on Dec. 18, 2013 at 5:55 PM
1 mom liked this
I have two older sons, one in middle school and one in high school. I had every intention of starting new and becoming a member of the PTA but I can't bring myself to do it. (I joined the PTA when they were in elementary school it was very clicky and a bad experience for me. My job was the secretary). I did "join" the elementary school PTA this year (have my card), and I have been attending the monthly PTA meetings at my sons elementary school this year but I haven't volunteered or anything.
14LVL
by Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 5:56 PM
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 Well, it really isn't surprising.  I am old enough to expect it.  What is sad is that we wonder why there is bullying amongst our children when moms, especially PTA moms are doing it amongst themselves AND to other moms.  Hmmmm, how ironic.

Quoting ramita: I think people get mad when they don't get their way, and they band together in groups. If you're not part of the group then you get shunned. It sucks, but I've seen it all my life. Sorry you're having to deal with that.

 

Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 1:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Many of our PTA members/leadership are full-time working moms.  Not all of them, but enough that they realize that time is a limited commodity  

I have found that the best way to voluteer for anything is to do so with a clear definition of expectations and a defined time commitment.  Being an open-ended volunteer is going to be subjected to more last minute requests which doesn't work well for a working parent who has multiple commitments.

mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 2:25 PM
3 moms liked this

I know a lot of working moms who are also on our school's PTO. They want to be involved in their school, and the activities they are chairing benefit all the kids and not just their own. But, they need committee people they can count on and rely on to help. Why continue communication with someone who doesn't want to help? PTO moms communicate with each other and see each other a lot because they are present frequently at school functions, or meeting outside of the school,  making things happen. Of course they are going to form closer working relationships, and friendships. It seems it is always the same people who are volunteering their time for the school. 

justahousewife
by Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 2:38 PM

I really hate social politics. It's even worse when you're hard of hearing. lol So I avoid all matters as much as possible. 

Outspoken.Mime
by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 2:49 PM
3 moms liked this

Always found PTAs to be cliques.  I am a working Mom, and Lord knows I don't have time to bake anything.  For the bake sale, my husband (who is a chef) baked these fantastic cookies that I brought in.

The PTA mothers were all standing about and obviously approved of my offering, because they felt free to jibber jabber in front of me about how so-and-so's mother brought something STORE BOUGHT!!!

Oh the horror!!!  Had it not been for my husband, that would have been me.

It must be nice to be able to feel superior to other women all day while your husband completely supports you.

HumanBeing
by on Dec. 19, 2013 at 2:54 PM
I do not like my kids schools current PTA however at their old school I loved the pto.

It seems like it depends on how it's run and the one at your school as well as mine are done poorly.
pj2becca21
by Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 2:55 PM
2 moms liked this

I have to agree. I'm am a stay at home mom but I have things that I do for my grandmother and my aunts all day that i am busy.  I try to help out. but my Problem is that the PTA mom are working mom and don't get that I can;t do everything for them because I don't work.

goddess99
by Michelle on Dec. 19, 2013 at 2:56 PM
11 moms liked this

I've been either a PTO President, Vice Pres., or Treasurer for the last 7 years. Getting parents to help is always like pulling teeth.

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