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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

His attitude has me totally confused

Posted by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 12:28 AM
  • 19 Replies
My 7 yr old DS has had an awful attitude of late and it definitely reared it's ugly head on Christmas Day. He has been rude, deceptive, self-centered, and ungrateful. Idk if it's just him being a typical boy or if maybe there is something going on. He has always talked to me before when something bothered him. I'm just at a loss as to what else to try. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and is on a medication that has been working great. He also has some learning disabilities and has an IEP in place to give him the extra help he needs in school. Idol if these could be contributing factors but I figured I might as well put that out there just in case it could help with any much needed advice.
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 12:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Barabell
by Barbara on Dec. 27, 2013 at 12:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Could you give some examples of how his attitude is awful and how you do reacting to the situations (i.e. what consequences are given for the awful attitude)?

frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 12:45 AM

i second this.    I am constantly talking to my dd who is 7 about making good choices in her behavior.

Quoting Barabell:

Could you give some examples of how his attitude is awful and how you do reacting to the situations (i.e. what consequences are given for the awful attitude)?


groovymom2006
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 12:55 AM
Latest example was Christmas Day, everything he got was thrown in the corner with the comment of "whatever" when my mother and brothers got to the house all he said was "oh god, more people" during dinner he kept telling his brothers he didn't care what they got for Christmas from anybody and we could have just kept it all. We finally just sent him to his room after the third warning about his attitude and told him he could come back downstairs when he was ready to apologize to everybody and be respectful.
Barabell
by Barbara on Dec. 27, 2013 at 1:00 AM

You said he had 3 warnings. Is that all that happened as a consequence before he was sent to his room for a time out? What was done with the gifts he acted ungrateful for? Was he made to apologize for his comment even before having the time out for the comment "oh God, more people"? 

Quoting groovymom2006: Latest example was Christmas Day, everything he got was thrown in the corner with the comment of "whatever" when my mother and brothers got to the house all he said was "oh god, more people" during dinner he kept telling his brothers he didn't care what they got for Christmas from anybody and we could have just kept it all. We finally just sent him to his room after the third warning about his attitude and told him he could come back downstairs when he was ready to apologize to everybody and be respectful.


frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 1:36 AM
2 moms liked this

I would have taken him aside right after the first comment or when the gifts were mistreated.  One talk, one warning and then consequence.  I may have packed up any new gifts and seriously given them away to children who would appreciate them more.  

 My dd has recieved timeouts if we are not at home and she did not behave accordingly.  She also had to apologize to the host or hostess of that household .

groovymom2006
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 1:49 AM
He was made to apologize to everybody before being sent to his room. As for the gifts I didn't take them away although I seriously considered it and looking back I probably should have done so. Until recently he has never acted like this. He was always a sweet caring little boy although sometimes very emotional. This is new territory for me as a mom so I'm learning as I go and just winging it. He is being pulled out of Cub Scouts until his attitude changes because we have told him that this is not how a true scout behaves. We told him scouts are kind, honest, caring people who help others and the community. That caused some major issues in our house but I told him it's his own fault.
zenoria
by Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 3:50 AM
1 mom liked this
Your consequences need to be bigger. He's older now, and taking away toys he tossed away from himself will only need to happen once or maybe twice. That said, some of this is typical for his age. I agree with pp. one discussion, one warning at most. When he balks at this (the consequences), you can explain that you warned him, he knew better, and he made a choice to act that way. There are consequences to actions good and bad.
celticdragon77
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 6:00 AM

My kids know the basics of how to behave and treat people. If they violate those ethics, then they are talked to and have consquences every time. There are no warnings in this house. 

I also try to always try to open a dialogue with my kids with an understanding attitude. 

I look at myself and others to check if the child is reflecting something he is seeing around him.

Given the age and situation - I personally would have made him apologize, then removed him from the festivities for maybe 20mins. I would have spent that time one on one with him and tried to open a dialogue with him. Each time after, an hour alone. 

I don't know offhand what I would do if it seemed like a continous problem day in and day out. 

I do know that I would want to know from him what he was feeling - and none of us have those answers...

groovymom2006
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 6:11 AM
My kids are normally very well behaved. We just seem to have hit this speed bump along the way with his attitude. It's a fairly new behavior from him and Christmas Day was by far the worst. Looked like it was time for me to go find some new advice and ideas for this particular issue. There have always been consequences to their behavior in my house, I just wasn't handling this one well enough. We do time-out, taking away privileges, even grounded him a few times. Punishment/rewards depend on behavior at that time. This was/is an issue I wasn't sure about as it's never been a problem in the past 7 years with any of my boys.
groovymom2006
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 6:15 AM
I did go upstairs and talk to him after making him sit on his bed alone for about 20 minutes. Explained why he was sent to his room, asked him what was wrong (he said nothing was wrong), pointed out that he was very rude and needed to go back downstairs and apologize to everyone individually and then go back through and thank everyone for his gifts.
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