Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

take the candy away forever?

Posted by on Jan. 5, 2014 at 3:16 PM
  • 35 Replies

So I have a parenting question/scenario: we bought my 3 sons candy prior to going to the shoe store with the understanding that if they were good they could have the candy when we got back to the car. well my 6 year old was not good so he didn't get his candy but the other 2 did. fast forward to today. my 6 year old asks if he can have his candy and my husband told him no, that he lost it completely because of his behavior at the shoe store. I feel ike the punishment was losing the candy that day when his brothers got theirs. I feel that he should get the chance to earn it back. Not lose it completely. Any thoughts? I know follow through is really important but it is necessary to prolong the punishment and take away the candy all together? 

by on Jan. 5, 2014 at 3:16 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 3:26 PM
6 moms liked this

 If you told him that he lost the candy for not behaving, then he lost it forever IMO. 

StephanieSH
by on Jan. 5, 2014 at 3:30 PM
It depends on the transgression. I have taken it off the table forever by throwing it away but on other occasions I have let them earn it back. It depends on the circumstances and what they were told at the time if the punishment. I usually throw it away on the spit so they aren't pining away for it.
Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 3:36 PM
5 moms liked this
I would put.ot.away and bring out when he deserves a special treat.
TheFirstNoel
by on Jan. 5, 2014 at 3:39 PM

He lost it forever. 

mommy053008
by Maria on Jan. 5, 2014 at 4:13 PM
Its gone.
kmrtigger
by Kandice on Jan. 5, 2014 at 4:33 PM

I agree it was lost for good. Put it up for another day on a special occasion.

meam4444
by on Jan. 5, 2014 at 5:26 PM

 Hmm..I'm not sure.  Here is why I say I am not for sure...today, my five year old was having a huge fit in the car after church (her sister and her switch off where they sit in the car since they sit in the same type of car seat).  She didn't get to sit where she wanted to.  My husband told her than she lost her american girl doll for the day.   So fast forward a hour or two later, we were out to eat, and in the past she will whine to us if she needs to go the bathroom.  We have told her to stop the whining in the past and just notify us without whining.  When we were eating out, she kindly asked me if I could take her to the bathroom.  I was blown out of the water on how kind she was...I thanked and commended her.  Need to say, my DH and I decided not to not take away her doll then due to her mature behavior there.  We explained it to her on how she earned back her doll for good behavior.

So, I guess, I would probably give it if he showed good behavior (i.e. cleaned his room, on good behavior, etc...).  But, we all parent differently.  Good luck!

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 5:55 PM
5 moms liked this

 In that exact situation, I would have given another reward for her "mature behavior", once a privilege or item is taken away I do not give it back prior to the end of the punishment.  My parents would often give in and give us stuff back and I quickly learned how to play them and ultimately not get punished for my misbehavior.  I would misbehave, lose something, and then be super nice and get it back a few hours later when I wanted to play with it.

Quoting meam4444:

 Hmm..I'm not sure.  Here is why I say I am not for sure...today, my five year old was having a huge fit in the car after church (her sister and her switch off where they sit in the car since they sit in the same type of car seat).  She didn't get to sit where she wanted to.  My husband told her than she lost her american girl doll for the day.   So fast forward a hour or two later, we were out to eat, and in the past she will whine to us if she needs to go the bathroom.  We have told her to stop the whining in the past and just notify us without whining.  When we were eating out, she kindly asked me if I could take her to the bathroom.  I was blown out of the water on how kind she was...I thanked and commended her.  Need to say, my DH and I decided not to not take away her doll then due to her mature behavior there.  We explained it to her on how she earned back her doll for good behavior.

So, I guess, I would probably give it if he showed good behavior (i.e. cleaned his room, on good behavior, etc...).  But, we all parent differently.  Good luck!

 

LilliesValley
by on Jan. 5, 2014 at 5:56 PM
It's gone until the next time you want to use it as a bribe.
anotherandree
by Bronze Member on Jan. 5, 2014 at 5:58 PM

Normally it would be gone forever.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN