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OMG! My daughter is a handful and full of drama every day

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:39 PM
  • 21 Replies

My daughter is 10 years old and every day is another drama story at school or after care or if she visits with her dad.  It's always something with her.  She is my only daughter and she is a handful.  Yesterday was this drama with someone in aftercare pulling on her hair, on the school bus to after care its these children bothering her and at school it's a girl and boy calling her heavy and telling her not to come to school because she's overweight.  At night she's telling me some other story.  I recently moved out of an apartment I shared with her Dad. My divorce went final in January 2013 and she and I moved out of the apartment in August 2013 and he moved out in September 2013.  Katharine has always been about drama. One of the reasons I divorced her dad was because he would lie all the time to me that I had to protect her from the damage he had caused.  she also was lying and at school, it's different.  They will label u a liar, which they did.  But, every day it's something else with Katharine.  When her dad calls she hardly speaks to him on the phone.  How can I be nice and tell her that all this complaining is too much??  I'm one person, I don't have any of this drama in my life.  She makes me tired sometimes with all her complaints, after another. 

Sometimes I feel that she says all these things to make sure I'm paying attention to her. She'll say one thing to me and then when her dad is around she says something else.  Just like with my parents. she complains to me but says something differently to me.

I kind of just need some friendly advice.  I'm just venting.  But, so much drama and most of it she creates herself. 

Thanks again, Lee

 

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:45 PM

It is time to be tough with her.  I love you child.   We need to figure out how to minimize the stress in your life (all the others picking on her).   Is she overweight at all?  This age can be very mean so any insecurity she may have others will jump on and exploit.

happynewyorker
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:50 PM

she's 20 pounds overweight.  But the weight wont be an issue today. It's always someone did this and I didn't do it and it turns out she did. I try to listen but some times, it's like enough already.

frndlyfn
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:56 PM

Maybe encourage her to write down the things she is thinking in a journal.  One for her privacy and one she could share with you like a communication journal.  You could also write in it about the good things, bad things, things the family needs to work on together , etc.  No judgements of each other only observations on what can be improved.

mommy053008
by Maria on Jan. 16, 2014 at 3:59 PM
This exactly

Quoting frndlyfn:

Maybe encourage her to write down the things she is thinking in a journal.  One for her privacy and one she could share with you like a communication journal.  You could also write in it about the good things, bad things, things the family needs to work on together , etc.  No judgements of each other only observations on what can be improved.

happynewyorker
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:05 PM

Okay, I'll speak to her tonight about doing another journal about her day.

frndlyfn
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:08 PM

Perhaps if you havent already, set up one just for your eyes as well so you can vent any frustrations as well about the day.

Quoting happynewyorker:

Okay, I'll speak to her tonight about doing another journal about her day.


happymommy1105
by Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 4:10 PM
1 mom liked this
I would tell her that for every negative thing she tells you, she has to tell you two positive.

Tell her this year is going to be about changing our thinking to positive. We are going to become positive thinkers by speaking positively.

That way you can hear things that aee true concerns but also help her get into a habit of positivity
soymujer
by Mikki on Jan. 16, 2014 at 6:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, drama comes with girsl.  I have one and we have had a lot of drama with her!  Just be tough.  Talk to her and let her know that the divorce wasn't her fault.

family in the van   Mom of four


k1ara
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:19 PM

DD is 9 (going on 15), and full of drama, so I feel for what you're going through.  I call these years, the pre-tween years.  I keep telling myself that maybe she's getting it out of her system early (before the teen years).. one can only hope, right?   My older son is 8, and I swear he's more dramatic than DD is at times.  The advice given above, about saying two positive things for every one negative thing said, is something worth trying. I'm going to try it out on my kids.. and I think I'll do it with them!  Good luck!

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:25 PM

When my sister and I were that age, my mother compared our lives to a soap opera.  She called it "As the stomach turns", although I think she secretly enjoyed hearing about all of the drama that happened at school.  lol  I think that drama is fairly common with girls this age.

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