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So frusterated...please help

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:38 PM
  • 9 Replies

I am so frustrated and I do not know what to do anymore. My 7 year old dd has become so difficult to manage. Whatever she is asked to do she completely avoids. She has had all of her toys and privileges removed because of this and does not seem to care. She does well in school as far as her grades and behavior in class go. However she always "forgets" to bring her homework home or take her reading tests. At home any task she is given either takes way to long or is not completed at all. She has never behaved like this prior to the last couple of months. Usually a simple time out or removal of a privilege has been all that  was needed to correct her behavior. I am completely at a loss of what to do about her behavior anymore. I am running out of ideas. Does anyone have any suggestions?

We have tried talking with her, time outs, losing toys, losing tv, etc, losing time with friends, losing allowance...

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:38 PM
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Replies (1-9):
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this

 This is very common at 7 years old.  She is testing boundaries and testing her own independance.  Give her a little more control where you can, pick your battles, and stand firm and be consistant when necessary.  Like the Terrible Twos, this too shall pass.

BTW - I call this phase the Snotty Sevens.

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 9:03 PM
1 mom liked this

 It's the age. Maybe sit down w/ her and review the house rules and consequences. Then make sure you stick w/ those consequences consistently. She will push you on it (ds1 ended up w/ just his furniture and clothes in his room for about a month when he was 7), but hang in there. It does get through to them and they do shape up eventually.

 

 

 

LovlyRita
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 9:13 PM
I noticed its all punishment. Where is the reward? She may feel like doing all that stuff is pointless if she just keeps getting in trouble. A quarter goes a long way to getting the playroom clean.
mommy053008
by Maria on Jan. 16, 2014 at 9:25 PM
I don't have a kid this age yet and I pray my children are easy Lol but I have heard its common I know my niece (who is now 8) really started the sass and back talk at age 7.
AidanTiarra
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 10:03 PM
Thanks, I have heard that. Hopefully it doesn't last too much longer. My son was slightly more defiant at this age but he was never this hard.

Quoting steelcrazy:

 This is very common at 7 years old.  She is testing boundaries and testing her own independance.  Give her a little more control where you can, pick your battles, and stand firm and be consistant when necessary.  Like the Terrible Twos, this too shall pass.


BTW - I call this phase the Snotty Sevens.

AidanTiarra
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 10:04 PM
Thanks, I have heard that. Hopefully it doesn't last too much longer. My son was slightly more defiant at this age but he was never this hard.

Quoting steelcrazy:

 This is very common at 7 years old.  She is testing boundaries and testing her own independance.  Give her a little more control where you can, pick your battles, and stand firm and be consistant when necessary.  Like the Terrible Twos, this too shall pass.


BTW - I call this phase the Snotty Sevens.

AidanTiarra
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 10:07 PM
I'm glad I'm not the only one. She still has furniture, clothes and about 3 other things but she is getting close to losing everything except her furniture and a few outfits. Even with less stuff she manages to make cleaning her room take forever.

Quoting wakymom:

 It's the age. Maybe sit down w/ her and review the house rules and consequences. Then make sure you stick w/ those consequences consistently. She will push you on it (ds1 ended up w/ just his furniture and clothes in his room for about a month when he was 7), but hang in there. It does get through to them and they do shape up eventually.


 


 


 

AidanTiarra
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 10:31 PM
I've always believed in rewards over punishment, it's just gotten this bad. We offer money for most chores as well as other things like extra reading or going above and beyond with helping. We also give other rewards like extra tv or game time, extra time with friends, etc. I've rarely ever had to use punishments, until now, because rewards usually work. We have even broken things down and offered her smaller rewards for a small part of the chore.

Quoting LovlyRita: I noticed its all punishment. Where is the reward? She may feel like doing all that stuff is pointless if she just keeps getting in trouble. A quarter goes a long way to getting the playroom clean.
AidanTiarra
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 10:34 PM
I have older step kids, but they don't live with us full time so this age was easier to deal with when they were younger. My oldest biological son is 13 months older than her and he was more difficult last year but never this bad.

Quoting mommy053008: I don't have a kid this age yet and I pray my children are easy Lol but I have heard its common I know my niece (who is now 8) really started the sass and back talk at age 7.
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