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9 year old boy with no close friends?

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2014 at 6:19 PM
  • 15 Replies

I always had a best friend and other friends. My son likes people and they seem to like him but he doesn't get invited over to anyone's house. In the summer, he plays with the neighborhood kids outside. He is in Scouts. He doesn't feel lonely. He definitely feels like he has friends. 

by on Jan. 31, 2014 at 6:19 PM
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by Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 6:28 PM

I have twins and I worry about the same thing. However I think things have changed as far as kids going to other kids houses. It seems that kids are older when they do that. My kids have boys from school over or scouts over, but they are never invited to anyone's house. I had wondered if it was b/c they are twins and parents don't want two at once. If he is not  lonely try not to worry. (Oh, my boys are 8, nine in March)

by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 6:32 PM
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Unfortunately, it's common now :( Parents just don't do "play dates" after kids are preschool as often. My kids have friends that are kids of my best friend of 20 years. They are all the same ages. We do play dates all the time. 

Maybe ask kids to come over to your house? Or ask them to a movie for a break the ice type situation.

by Ruby Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 6:32 PM

 I've found kids don't necessarily just go over to other people's houses anymore. Our neighborhood is an exception in that about half the kids do just come/go over and ask to play. The other half of them have all sorts of activities and family things going on and don't have time to hang out w/ a friend unless it's scheduled in advance. Ds2 (10) has plenty of friends at school he plays w/, but only 2 in the neighborhood who invite him over or come to our house. He is fine w/ that.

As long as your ds has friends he plays w/ at recess and is welcomed when he plays outside w/ the neighborhood kids, I wouldn't worry about it.







by Emerald Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 6:40 PM

 I've never done play dates, the term makes me cringe even.  My boys each have a group of friends and don't have just one best friend.  I do not have a problem with this.  Why would anyone force their child to have just one friend instead of a group of friends? 

by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 6:52 PM

My kids didn't start having close friends til this year. But I never worried about them having a bff or close friends. I didn't have any til I was 12/13. 

by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2014 at 7:38 PM

We have no kids in the neighborhood and he goes to school across town. In younger grades when play dates were popular he always missed out because I worked. He does do sports so he gets interaction outside of school plus now I am finding kids do less play at each others house and more play on line games together. Last year at his IEP meeting the special ed teacher raised it but the rest of the team didn't see him having issues with friends. He is in a lot of situtations where he is the only kid from his school and it never holds him back. I was shy growing up and I could never do that. Also find most of his friends have older siblings and between their activities and their siblings there is no time for just hanging out.

by Maria on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:01 PM
My girls play with lots of people just today I net with a group of moms and my youngest played with a few kids she knows from school and then some new kids she net at the playground. My oldest we get together with a variety of friends at her school she has seen more then half her class outside of school.
by Michelle on Jan. 31, 2014 at 8:25 PM

 We have no kids in the general area, we are on a main road and most kids around here tend to live in subdivisions, which is too far up the road for them to come on over and ask my kids to play. I wish we had playdates for the kids, but no one seems to do these things. I have suggested to my boys they invite friends from school over and to exchange numbers or something, but they say they forget to do so. I find it hard to set up playdates.

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by on Feb. 1, 2014 at 9:49 AM

I think that's normal these days, unfortunately. I think the parents have to be friends in order for the kids to have friends. It's sad, but that's how it is. My kids don't have close friends, and they're 8 and 6. They don't get invited over to friends houses, they don't get invited to birthday parties. 

by Jen on Feb. 1, 2014 at 10:26 AM
I didn't have close friends until high school.
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