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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Shouldn't They Both Get Punished?

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2014 at 9:10 AM
  • 12 Replies

 So two Fridays ago I was at school helping out like I do every Friday.  Well after lunch DD and one of her friends got caught playing in the bathroom. They didn't have to move their color down teacher just told them they know they shouldn't had been playing. (My DD picking up other little girl) Well about a hour later the little girl goes up to the teacher and says that she told DD not to pick her up but she did so anyway. So the teacher calls DD up and ask her about it. I was close by and heard everything as I was making it like I was reading one of the other kids report. The look on her face and tone in her voice I knew that she was telling the truth that the little girl never asked her not to pick her up. I've seen this little girl do something then talk the teacher out of getting introuble several times. But anyway, at this point the teacher still didn't say anything about either one of them moving their color down. At the end of the day I asked the teacher did she want me to give stickers out to the kids that where on good behavior. She said yes. When I called DD the teacher quickly told DD that she didn't get a sticker because of her playing in bathroom. But told the other little girl which was on a yellow behavior anyway to move up so she can get a sticker. (her reason was because she stepped up and said she told DD not to pick her up) I'm on fire at this point and said something to teacher but can't remember exactly. Something like I'm sure DD picked little girl up but I'm not so sure that she was told not to pick the girl up. Well I kinda got the ill look from the teacher. Well all that weekend all I heard from DD was how the little girl never told her to pick her up.  I even told DD it was ok I wasn't mad nor was she getting introuble. Just to let it brush off her shoulders. I think if one got introuble the other should have also doesn't matter what her behavior color is. They start at green everyday. If they are good they can go to blue, then purple, then pink. If bad yellow, orange, then red. The little girl was on yellow then moved back to green. DD is never introuble always on green, blue, or purple. Has been on pink twice. I know this shouldn't bother me but it did. I guess because I see things teacher doesn't at times.

Do you think this was fair?

by on Feb. 7, 2014 at 9:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mom2jessnky
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2014 at 9:23 AM

I don't think that was fair, if anything the tattle tale should have been the only one punished, but I'm more for both or neither in this case.

I hate tattling though, so that may skew my opinion.

mandalyn74
by Member on Feb. 7, 2014 at 9:25 AM

I have the same issue with my son.  They lose smiley faces for bad behavior and she marks on each one what it was for like playing, talking, etc.  If he loses any I ask him what he was doing and most of the time he cannot remember specifics but I usually try to decide how bad I think the behavior was for myself.  Sometimes the teacher is just having a bad day or something so while I do punish at home for losing smileys I also try to determine how much I think is needed depending on the offense.  I trust my son and I don't always take the teacher's word at 100% every time.

Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 7, 2014 at 10:20 AM
2 moms liked this
I don't know whether it was fair or not, but I think you acted inappropriately in front of the class. I would be surprised if the teacher would have a serious conversation with you about this now after you undermined her authority in front of the class instead of talking to her about it later.
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2014 at 10:22 AM

It doesn't matter whether you think it's fair or not.  You had NO business interfering and frankly I wouldn't allow you back in my classroom because clearly you don't understand your role.  It's difficult to see our kids make mistakes, but they do and will.  There is a time and place to discuss things like this, but you did not handle that well.  Also, as a parent, you should not be focusing on what is "fair", rather you should be admonishing YOUR daughter for not behaving properly.  The teacher corrected things, but didn't make a big deal out of it.  You did.  SMH

Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 7, 2014 at 10:22 AM
I meant to add that at this point I think the best course of action would be to let the situation go and try to teach your daughter to do the same. If a situation like this comes up again, I would suggest calmly taking to the teacher about after classroom hours.
Femommy
by Member on Feb. 7, 2014 at 10:29 AM

 I know I probably shouldn't had said anything. The kids where at their cubbys packing up so when I said something I made sure none of the kids where around. It just got the better of me. I kept telling myself to let it go. But something just brought it out to say something before I left that day. I still talked to her afterward and smiled and she did the same afterward. I even started to send her an email that night to appologies but I figured it was best to leave it alone. I didn't go in last Friday because of snow and today I will be going in. But still at this point probably still should let it go. It just bothers me because it didn't seem fair. DH was upset too when i told him. He has been wanting to get DD taken out of that class. Not because of the teacher but because of the distractions. Five kids are very disruptive, two go to pull out, seven work on a slow pace rate, and well five are like my DD average on learning. I feel like it is putting her behind in class because they spend 2 hrs on one assignment or she isn't being challenged enough. Every AR book test is 100. But since she is in a 3.2 I'm not worried because thats above level she should be on. When I go in on Fridays DD is bored she finished her work and then has to sit till everyone is finished. She is doing nothing for a hour while she waits. In the mean time she could be learning something else. Just last month they started on Spelling. This is 2nd grade. In K and 1st they started at the beginning of the year. IDK.... I like her teacher I'm just ready for a new year.

Quoting Barabell: I don't know whether it was fair or not, but I think you acted inappropriately in front of the class. I would be surprised if the teacher would have a serious conversation with you about this now after you undermined her authority in front of the class instead of talking to her about it later.

 

Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 7, 2014 at 10:36 AM
Have you had a meeting with the teacher about your concerns of your daughter being bored? My son has that issue a lot, and his teachers were always willing to work with us on that issue.
Femommy
by Member on Feb. 7, 2014 at 10:43 AM
Many times.... She just tells me they will work on it.
Quoting Barabell: Have you had a meeting with the teacher about your concerns of your daughter being bored? My son has that issue a lot, and his teachers were always willing to work with us on that issue.
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Feb. 7, 2014 at 10:47 AM

Encourage her to read when she has down time.  My kids always carry a book with them and read in between if they are waiting.

Quoting Femommy:

 I know I probably shouldn't had said anything. The kids where at their cubbys packing up so when I said something I made sure none of the kids where around. It just got the better of me. I kept telling myself to let it go. But something just brought it out to say something before I left that day. I still talked to her afterward and smiled and she did the same afterward. I even started to send her an email that night to appologies but I figured it was best to leave it alone. I didn't go in last Friday because of snow and today I will be going in. But still at this point probably still should let it go. It just bothers me because it didn't seem fair. DH was upset too when i told him. He has been wanting to get DD taken out of that class. Not because of the teacher but because of the distractions. Five kids are very disruptive, two go to pull out, seven work on a slow pace rate, and well five are like my DD average on learning. I feel like it is putting her behind in class because they spend 2 hrs on one assignment or she isn't being challenged enough. Every AR book test is 100. But since she is in a 3.2 I'm not worried because thats above level she should be on. When I go in on Fridays DD is bored she finished her work and then has to sit till everyone is finished. She is doing nothing for a hour while she waits. In the mean time she could be learning something else. Just last month they started on Spelling. This is 2nd grade. In K and 1st they started at the beginning of the year. IDK.... I like her teacher I'm just ready for a new year.

Quoting Barabell: I don't know whether it was fair or not, but I think you acted inappropriately in front of the class. I would be surprised if the teacher would have a serious conversation with you about this now after you undermined her authority in front of the class instead of talking to her about it later.

 


Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 7, 2014 at 11:08 AM
My son's elementary has classroom libraries. He also has the option to read too. The teacher is used to kids being different levels, so the kids are often given an optional but topic related project or handout to work on in case they finish the core assignment quickly. I would think that is standard practice because bored kids lead to talking and behavioral issues.

Quoting mjande4:

Encourage her to read when she has down time.  My kids always carry a book with them and read in between if they are waiting.

Quoting Femommy:

 I know I probably shouldn't had said anything. The kids where at their cubbys packing up so when I said something I made sure none of the kids where around. It just got the better of me. I kept telling myself to let it go. But something just brought it out to say something before I left that day. I still talked to her afterward and smiled and she did the same afterward. I even started to send her an email that night to appologies but I figured it was best to leave it alone. I didn't go in last Friday because of snow and today I will be going in. But still at this point probably still should let it go. It just bothers me because it didn't seem fair. DH was upset too when i told him. He has been wanting to get DD taken out of that class. Not because of the teacher but because of the distractions. Five kids are very disruptive, two go to pull out, seven work on a slow pace rate, and well five are like my DD average on learning. I feel like it is putting her behind in class because they spend 2 hrs on one assignment or she isn't being challenged enough. Every AR book test is 100. But since she is in a 3.2 I'm not worried because thats above level she should be on. When I go in on Fridays DD is bored she finished her work and then has to sit till everyone is finished. She is doing nothing for a hour while she waits. In the mean time she could be learning something else. Just last month they started on Spelling. This is 2nd grade. In K and 1st they started at the beginning of the year. IDK.... I like her teacher I'm just ready for a new year.


Quoting Barabell: I don't know whether it was fair or not, but I think you acted inappropriately in front of the class. I would be surprised if the teacher would have a serious conversation with you about this now after you undermined her authority in front of the class instead of talking to her about it later.

 


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