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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Advice Needed: I have a 6 yo that flips out every time...

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:44 PM
  • 24 Replies

I have a 6 yo that flips out every time we leave an event...playdate, b- party, etc. She burst into tears, begs to stay, the whole nine yards. I'm a no nonsense type of mom...I'll give an extra 5-10 min, then we are out. I've tried to be sensitive, but this evening I lost it. Any advice?

by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GwenMB
by Gwen on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:47 PM

Do you give a 5-10 minute warning before you want to leave, or just give the extra 5-10 minutes?

clairewait
by Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 10:42 PM
7 moms liked this


Quoting mickimom:

I'm a no nonsense type of mom...I'll give an extra 5-10 min, then we are out. I've tried to be sensitive, but this evening I lost it. Any advice?

I'll be honest. This isn't "no nonsense" to me.

At 6 years old, the flipping out could be simply for this extra 5 minutes.

Mine have definitely tried this. I'll put up with it in the moment and drag them as diplomatically to the car as I can. Then they get the wrath of mommy.

And then, the next time we go somewhere, I lecture the crap out of them before we arrive, and remind them that if they try to pull anything when it is time to leave, we'll never come back.

6 year olds are old enough to understand this lesson in a more long-term sense. I'd stop with the extra time, prep her before you go about the consequences of a melt-down when it is time to leave, then issue the punishment.

GwenMB
by Gwen on Mar. 8, 2014 at 11:05 PM

I definitely agree with this - which is why I was wondering of you give a warning or just give the extra time.  If you just give extra time, she quite likely is throwing a fit to get the time.  Giving a 5-10 minute warning helps many kids with that transition.

Telling her that she'll have to miss the next event if she doesn't leave this one w/o a tantrum is quite reasonable, IMO.

Quoting clairewait:


Quoting mickimom:

I'm a no nonsense type of mom...I'll give an extra 5-10 min, then we are out. I've tried to be sensitive, but this evening I lost it. Any advice?

I'll be honest. This isn't "no nonsense" to me.

At 6 years old, the flipping out could be simply for this extra 5 minutes.

Mine have definitely tried this. I'll put up with it in the moment and drag them as diplomatically to the car as I can. Then they get the wrath of mommy.

And then, the next time we go somewhere, I lecture the crap out of them before we arrive, and remind them that if they try to pull anything when it is time to leave, we'll never come back.

6 year olds are old enough to understand this lesson in a more long-term sense. I'd stop with the extra time, prep her before you go about the consequences of a melt-down when it is time to leave, then issue the punishment.


maxswolfsuit
by Max on Mar. 8, 2014 at 11:26 PM

Giving the extra time is an issue to me.

When I tell my kids we are leaving, we are leaving. 

If she's learned she can get an extra 5-10 minutes you can't blame her for trying for another 10 minutes. I would set a time and stick to it. 

quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 11:28 PM
I agree with the above. Do a 5-10 minute warning. Then leave. If she throws a tantrum, carry her kicking and screaming butt to the car anyway.
Luvmy2babies22
by Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 9:10 AM

 This was my first thought as well.  "no nonsense" is "Mommy said it's time to go so let's go", period. 

OP:  I also wonder if you give adequate warning before it's time to go.  We've always laid out an event for our kids ahead of time and then given them those warnings so they know what to expect.  If they want to negotiate for more time at that point, we can do that.  Sometimes, I can give them some extra time, other times we have some place else to be and I can't but all that was explained to them before we arrived so it's not a surprise.  However, when I say "time to go", it's time to go and that's that.

It sounds like she's learned to pitch a fit until you give in.  I would start with explaining expectations before the event and give her regular updates so she knows where you are in the plan.  Once you say "let's go" that's the end.

GL

Quoting clairewait:

 

Quoting mickimom:

I'm a no nonsense type of mom...I'll give an extra 5-10 min, then we are out. I've tried to be sensitive, but this evening I lost it. Any advice?

I'll be honest. This isn't "no nonsense" to me.

At 6 years old, the flipping out could be simply for this extra 5 minutes.

Mine have definitely tried this. I'll put up with it in the moment and drag them as diplomatically to the car as I can. Then they get the wrath of mommy.

And then, the next time we go somewhere, I lecture the crap out of them before we arrive, and remind them that if they try to pull anything when it is time to leave, we'll never come back.

6 year olds are old enough to understand this lesson in a more long-term sense. I'd stop with the extra time, prep her before you go about the consequences of a melt-down when it is time to leave, then issue the punishment.

 

Sillieguze
by Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 9:26 AM
I agree with what others have said. Give her a 5 minute warning and then leave in 5 minutes no matter what she says or does. If she knows throwing a fit will get her more time then she's going to keep throwing fits.
MommyChance
by Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 9:26 AM
Do you give 15-10-5-2 minute heads up? I do that, then tell him he gets one last *whatever they are doing* and it's time to go. That seems to work.
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 9:51 AM

I agree with the others. In addition, there is NO excuse for this kind of behavior at her age. I didn't tolerate it at two and I most certainly would not at six. Frankly, I would let her know in no uncertain terms that if it happens again, then she will not be attending anymore parties. 

kaylasmom22
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 9:54 AM
Dd was like that from 3-4 and I noticed my daughters friend who is 7 does that too. I just dealt with it, and explained that there would be no more events if she behaved like this
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