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To late to be a SAHM?

Posted by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:10 PM
  • 163 Replies
2 moms liked this

-UPDATE!- Sorry for the late response! *********UPDATE IN RED*********

*First*- I can't believe I got featured on my first post ever! YAY!*

*Second*-I am overwhelmed by all of the responses and that so many strangers would take a few minutes out of their busy schedules to help someone they don't even know, even if it is just suggestions, encouragement or a "heads up" on what its like to be a SAHM. Thank You all so much!

*Third* - I wanted to answer a few questions I saw over some of the suggestions:

  • I currently work at an auto body repair shop as an admin. asst.
  • I do not collect any kind of child support from my daughters father or ever have, so I would not plan on asking for anything additional if I became a stay at home mom. Her father has always been in her life and provides for her as needed without any hesitation, and that's enough for me. We always split any bills and he pays for half of her aftercare and camp during the summer.
  • If I quit my job to become a SAHM I would love to get involved in my daughters school in any way that I could. All of your suggestions were very helpful and I honestly would not have thought to volunteer at the school if you all wouldnt have suggested it. So THANK YOU!
  • I have mentioned it to my current employer about working part time so I can still have some kind of income and have not heard back about it. They have never hired a part time person for my position because currently there are only two people that handle the 50-65 customers vehicles we have in here at one time. I don't think they would do part time but I honestly just want to quit and be home with my daughter either way.

*Last*- I am going to talk to my husband again tonight and go over the finances again to make sure we can do this financially. I may take the suggestion that was given to work for a few months and put all my earnings away and see how we make out from that.


thank you


So this is my first post ever considering I just joined cafemom a few hours ago but I figured why not just jump right in even if I have no idea what I'm doing!

After reading some other post on the site, I understand that I may get some not so welcome comments back but I'm going to ask my question anyway and hope it's not that bad. So here goes...

If my daughter is 9, is it to late to finally become a SAHM?

I am really unhappy at my job and am considering quitting to be a SAHM.
I have worked where I am now for a little over three years and really enjoyed it up until about a year ago. I love the people I work with but the company has no structure and dealing with the public has become harder and harder. On top of just not enjoying it anymore I've become more and more upset about not getting to see my daughter as much. She is 9 years old and I feel like I'm missing out on her life more and more as she gets older. I get to see her in the morning for a few minutes before I leave for work (my husband takes her to school because I work about 35-45 mins away and have to leave earlier) and when we get home from work it's usually around 6pm and I'm making dinner, doing homework and after her shower it's time for bed (8:30). Her father and I are not together so she is with him every other weekend (my husband is not her father) and even the time we have on the weekends I feel like all we do is laundry, cleaning the house and all the errands we can't do during the week so my time is always filled.

So I think I wanna quit my job and be a stay at home mom. I have worked since I was 14 and have busted my ass to make sure my daughter and I have had everything we needed because I didn't get help from anyone else. I was kicked out when I had her at 18 because my mom and I didn't see eye to eye on how to raise her and I hopped from house to house of friends to make sure she had somewhere to sleep at night because that's my job as a parent and I needed to do what was best for her no matter what. I finally got on my feet by getting an apartment and I haven't had a break ever since because well I couldn't. I'm not looking for sympathy for any if this, I had the child and it's what I am supposed to do as a parent... I understand that. I guess just now that I have the ability to be a SAHM I'm really interested it taking it. I will work hard here at home in taking care of my family and being able to attend things my daughter is involved in and also save money by not having to put her in aftercare or camp throughout the summer.

I guess I'm just worried about quitting my job and having an issue getting back into the work force once my daughter gets even older, and wonder if its reasonable to want to be a SAHM now when my daughter is 9 instead if when she was younger. I shouldn't care about what anyone else thinks but I do and I'm afraid people will question me within my family of why I can't just handle it all, work and family.

Btw- my husband thinks I should be happy in whatever I do. I know we can financially handle it, although we will be loosing a good chunk of change and won't be able to come and go as we please with things... But I can't seem to make the decision on what to do because if it all falls apart, I will feel it's my fault. In the end it's up to me to make the decision... But I want to hear others opinions... Both working moms side and SAHM's side.

So it to late to be a SAHM?

Any input would help!

Sorry for the long post! First timer here... I'll learn to shorten them!

by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Queen25Princes on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:12 PM
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Welcome to the group!
Be happy, it's not to late to be a SAHM.
by Platinum Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:16 PM
5 moms liked this
I would say go for it as long as it doesn't put the family in a bind.

I am a SAHM but homeschool my three kids. I would not be able to handle it if I was home alone all day while they were in school to just cook and clean. I would.have to volunteer somewhere or get some sort of part time job.
by Ruby Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:18 PM
11 moms liked this

 welcome     It's never too late to be a SAHM. If you can do it, and want to, go for it. If you are worried about an employment gap on your resume later, you can volunteer in your dd's school and put that experience down.







by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:19 PM
2 moms liked this

No it is not too late.  I think it would be great if every kid had some memories of their mother staying home.  Even if your kid is 9, you can be in their class room, be home (and refreshed) when they get home.  Be there when they are sick... and you can plan things for them in advance.  Just do it.  You will not regret it.  

by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:24 PM
1 mom liked this
It's never too late. I'm not a sahm but school age kids still need their moms. Probably more so sometimes. I had always planned to cut back at work when older ds started school bite ds # 2 came in and financially we still needed 2 incomes. It's harder working full time now that kids are older. Homework, sports, other activities get harder as the get older and after 8 hour plus days we are all drained at night. Plus older kids get more they can get into when no one is home.
by Maria on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:25 PM
1 mom liked this
I've never stayed home but I only work part time I say do what makes you happy.
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 9:20 PM
3 moms liked this
Children of all ages benefit from having a parent available all the time. Enjoy this stage of your life!
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this

If it works for you and your family, then it isn't too late (my kids are almost 16, 14, and 12 and I am a sahm).  You do what makes you happy and what is best for your family.    

by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 9:25 PM
11 moms liked this

First, not all groups are created equal.  If you've been in Mom Confessions, don't fret.  That is a highly dramatic, mean group at times.  This group here has always been rather kind and helpful!

Second, it's never too late.  You can become more active at her school, in supporting your DH at work, in the community, etc.  Just because she's at school doesn't mean your duties stop.  You can cook healthier meals, explore growing your own food, repair stuff around the house instead of replacing, etc.

The best way to start is to create a mock budget of how you'll live without your current income.  Then, practice it for a couple of months to see if it is actually feasible.  Put all your current income into savings for now and use just DH's for your bills and luxuries.

Use those couple months also to explore how you might like to fill your free time.  DH comes home for lunch every day for me.  Once a week or so, he'll take me on a lunch date instead!  It's a great way to break up the day and it saves us money in the long run.  I grow a nice veggie garden and can the produce.  I chauffer field trips, and I make it to every office function DH has, which has bolstered how supported he feels at work.  It's been a great experience.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 9:26 PM
1 mom liked this
First, welcome to CafeMom!

Second, I don't think it's ever too late to become a stay at home mom! If you can afford it, financially, I say go for it! Another option is look for a part time job in the school district. I'm a lunch monitor at my girls' school. I work about 2 hours a day, so I have time to drop them off, get some errands and cleaning done, go to work, come home and finish up whatever I was doing, then pick them up from school. It's the best of both worlds :) I also have the same breaks/time off as they do.
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