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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

When is it more than just a phase?

Posted by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 12:51 PM
  • 73 Replies

 It started a couple years or so ago, my son's meltdowns over clothes. He hated wearing jeans and would pitch a fit if we picked out jeans for him to wear. We chalked it up to his age, as he was five at the time. DH and I finally came to a compromise with DS where he would wear jeans every other day, alternating with sweatpants. It's worked great up until recently. Now 7, he STILL throws a fit if we try to get him to wear jeans/jean shorts, even more so if he wore them the previous day. DS doesn't even like cotton pants that button. I don't know what the deal is and it's frustrating. My 3 year old could care less if she's in jeans, pants, shorts, or a dress. DH says it's just a phase and DS will outgrow it. When should I be more concerned, if at all?

 

ETA* Wow. I'm featured. The one thing I was hoping WOULDN'T happen. Lol. I wanted to add: we do not 'force' him to wear jeans. There is a routine in place where DS alternates every other day, but sometimes he can't wear sweatpants/cotton pants for whatever reason and then the meltdown occurs. It isn't because he's being forced to do something- it's because he doesn't like the jeans. Once he gets them on, he could care less. He likes skinny jeans and slim fitted ones. DS gets to pick his outfits out, which is more than I was allowed to do at his age. (I wasn't even allowed to have a say in how my hair was cut) What I'm asking is when this sort of thing is more than a phase or if it's just part of his personality. If kids came with manuals, this parenting thing would be easy.

by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 12:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CalicoMeezer
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 12:57 PM
While the meltdowns snd fighting are not okay, I'm not clear ehy you want to continue to force him to wear jeans when he clearly dislikes them so much?

There could be a real reason he doesn't want to wear them. My dd doesn't like them at all. She has a difficult body to fit, and they are very uncomfortable for her to wear, so she doesn't. She wears leggings, sweatpants, shorts, dresses, and skirts.

My nephew was the same until he discovered he likes wearing cowboy boots, but he will still only wear jeans with his boots. The rest of the time he wears athletic shorts or pants, or occasionally khakis.
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 1:46 PM

Make sure that they are giving his "junk" plenty of breathing room. Talk to him about why he prefers one over the other.

mom2jessnky
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 1:51 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm pretty sure having a melt down over a piece of clothing is not just a phase.
It could be a sensory issue, I'd check with his pediatrician.

GwenMB
by Gwen on Mar. 17, 2014 at 2:14 PM

My DH decided when he was about 15 that he dislikes jeans & refused to wear them after that.  40 years later, he has yet to wear jeans since then.

I don't force my boys to wear things they don't want to, as long as there is an alternative.  My 1st grader wouldn't wear jeans for a few years, now he prefers them (as long as they snap & not button).  My 5 yo prefers soft pants (used to always want brown, thankfully other colors are acceptable now).  As long as they are wearing pants, I don't care what type of pants they wear.  Kids should be allowed to make clothing choices - within parameters set by you, of course.  But not wanting jeans is something I would allow the child to say.  Its likely a comfort thing.

jltplk25
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 2:24 PM

 We do not allow him to wear sweatpants to church. He's a bean pole so it has nothing to do with his body shape.

Quoting CalicoMeezer: While the meltdowns snd fighting are not okay, I'm not clear ehy you want to continue to force him to wear jeans when he clearly dislikes them so much? There could be a real reason he doesn't want to wear them. My dd doesn't like them at all. She has a difficult body to fit, and they are very uncomfortable for her to wear, so she doesn't. She wears leggings, sweatpants, shorts, dresses, and skirts. My nephew was the same until he discovered he likes wearing cowboy boots, but he will still only wear jeans with his boots. The rest of the time he wears athletic shorts or pants, or occasionally khakis.

 

In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.

jltplk25
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 2:26 PM

 I've never considered that before. Thanks! I will ask him next time about that.

Quoting mjande4:

Make sure that they are giving his "junk" plenty of breathing room. Talk to him about why he prefers one over the other.

 

In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.

jltplk25
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 2:27 PM

 I keep thinking that as well. Dh thinks I'm just looking for something to be wrong. :-/

Quoting mom2jessnky:

I'm pretty sure having a melt down over a piece of clothing is not just a phase. It could be a sensory issue, I'd check with his pediatrician.

 

In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.

GwenMB
by Gwen on Mar. 17, 2014 at 2:28 PM

Dress pants are more appropriate than jeans for church anyway.

Why not have Sunday be the one day you insist on nonsweatpants? Sounds like he'd be ok with jeans or dress pants one day a week since his meltdowns happen when you make him wear jeans two days in a row.

You have an awesome quote in your siggy - why not apply it to your DS & let him be a sweatpants-wearing-kid?

Quoting jltplk25:

 We do not allow him to wear sweatpants to church. He's a bean pole so it has nothing to do with his body shape.

Quoting CalicoMeezer: While the meltdowns snd fighting are not okay, I'm not clear ehy you want to continue to force him to wear jeans when he clearly dislikes them so much? There could be a real reason he doesn't want to wear them. My dd doesn't like them at all. She has a difficult body to fit, and they are very uncomfortable for her to wear, so she doesn't. She wears leggings, sweatpants, shorts, dresses, and skirts. My nephew was the same until he discovered he likes wearing cowboy boots, but he will still only wear jeans with his boots. The rest of the time he wears athletic shorts or pants, or occasionally khakis.

 


jltplk25
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 2:31 PM

 I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't an almost daily thing. Now he picks his clothes based on the day's activities at school. If he has PE, then he gets to wear sweatpants. If he has art/tech/library, then he can wear jeans or cotton type pants. We do not *force* him to wear jeans. The battles are the days we ask him to wear jeans, like if we are going to church. Today's meltdown was because I asked him to wear jean shorts since he didn't have shorts that matched the St. Patrick's day shirt he was wearing. I need to go shopping for shorts for him. We just haven't yet since it's just now warming up enough to wear them.

Quoting GwenMB:

My DH decided when he was about 15 that he dislikes jeans & refused to wear them after that.  40 years later, he has yet to wear jeans since then.

I don't force my boys to wear things they don't want to, as long as there is an alternative.  My 1st grader wouldn't wear jeans for a few years, now he prefers them (as long as they snap & not button).  My 5 yo prefers soft pants (used to always want brown, thankfully other colors are acceptable now).  As long as they are wearing pants, I don't care what type of pants they wear.  Kids should be allowed to make clothing choices - within parameters set by you, of course.  But not wanting jeans is something I would allow the child to say.  Its likely a comfort thing.

 

In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.

jltplk25
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 2:38 PM

 Our church is a tshirt and jeans type. Lol. He HAS been better about wearing jeans, I was curious about when such things become more than a phase. DS started crying today over it which prompted my question. He has worn jeans the past couple days and I told him that he could wear his cotton shorts tomorrow. DS finally grew so we have to get him some new shorts. *hangs head* Man I feel dumb now. :(

Quoting GwenMB:

Dress pants are more appropriate than jeans for church anyway.

Why not have Sunday be the one day you insist on nonsweatpants? Sounds like he'd be ok with jeans or dress pants one day a week since his meltdowns happen when you make him wear jeans two days in a row.

You have an awesome quote in your siggy - why not apply it to your DS & let him be a sweatpants-wearing-kid?

Quoting jltplk25:

 We do not allow him to wear sweatpants to church. He's a bean pole so it has nothing to do with his body shape.

Quoting CalicoMeezer: While the meltdowns snd fighting are not okay, I'm not clear ehy you want to continue to force him to wear jeans when he clearly dislikes them so much? There could be a real reason he doesn't want to wear them. My dd doesn't like them at all. She has a difficult body to fit, and they are very uncomfortable for her to wear, so she doesn't. She wears leggings, sweatpants, shorts, dresses, and skirts. My nephew was the same until he discovered he likes wearing cowboy boots, but he will still only wear jeans with his boots. The rest of the time he wears athletic shorts or pants, or occasionally khakis.

 

 

In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.

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