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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Advice Needed: Why do I always have to pay for everything when...

Posted by on Mar. 23, 2014 at 12:59 PM
  • 43 Replies

Why do I always have to pay for everything when we have outings with my son's friends? Parents never give their kids cash to pay their own way, and they never reciprocate by asking our son to do do things. Is this normal these days?

by on Mar. 23, 2014 at 12:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:09 PM
8 moms liked this
Either tell the parents "it will be $5 for admission and I'm planning $8 for my son's meal and I'll be giving my son $15 for games but feel free to send whatever you think is appropriate" or just stop inviting others if it's that big a deal.
4wildbeasts
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:09 PM
2 moms liked this
If it is planned like the mom says hey I am going to take them McDonald's for lunch and then to play, then I send money. If when my son is dropped off the other mom mentions that she took them to McDonald's then I just say thanks that was nice and consider it something nice that she wanted to do.
Momsthename0609
by on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:10 PM
Stop inviting them to go to outings? My boys never get asked to go on outings that cost money, we have play dates and that's about it. I would offer to pay their way if they did though.
emilysmom8
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I always send money with my dd when she goes places with friends, most of the time she comes home with the money. And when I take her friends somewhere I usually pay (even if they have money with them I have them take the money back to their parents)
mom2jessnky
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this

If they're not paying for their children or reciprocating I would stop inviting these children to do things that cost money.

MrsApple
by Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:12 PM
3 moms liked this

When we invite our daughter's friends on an outing,we never expect the parents to pay.But her friends often invite her out and our offers to pay are always turned down.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:16 PM
12 moms liked this

 When you invite someone to go some place that costs money, it is your responsibility to cover the costs.  If you can't afford to pay for something, don't do it.  If you feel that the invites aren't reciprocated, then quit inviting those kids to do things that cost money.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:35 PM
6 moms liked this

If you invite, you pay unless you otherwise make arrangements.

If you can't afford it, be up front with the family. I would like to take your child with us to the science center, and will be paying admission, but can you send a sack lunch or money for lunch? They will let you know if it is doable for them or not.

ETA: Doing things and EXPECTING them to be reciprocated is rude! You shuld be taking kids with you because you WANT TO for your kids, NOT so that you can expect them to take your kid for a free day!

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Life Scout Ian 1/982nd Class Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

cupcake_mom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 1:41 PM
This. I always try to ask how much I should send.

Quoting 4wildbeasts: If it is planned like the mom says hey I am going to take them McDonald's for lunch and then to play, then I send money. If when my son is dropped off the other mom mentions that she took them to McDonald's then I just say thanks that was nice and consider it something nice that she wanted to do.
Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2014 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this

I will also say  I TRY to send money, either for snacks or souveniers when I let my kids go somewhere, but honestly, I can't always do that. So if you invite my child and DON'T speak up that I need to send money, I may not send it.

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