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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Teachers pushing meds.

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:14 AM
  • 25 Replies

My oldest son had struggled in school since kindergarten.  He's almost 13 now.  He did get diagnosed with ADHD around age 9, after his 3rd & 4th grade teachers bringing it up.  It was a lot of work to get a diagnosis,a lot of testing and trying alternatives to meds before finally trying the meds.  They did end up helping.  He was able to focus, his grades shot up.  But he wasn't himself.  He tried them on & off.  He's off them now.  His grades aren't so hot.  But I really don't want him on them.  His doctor didn't want him on them anymore either.

Anyway, that was background on my ADHD experience.  My 2nd son, he's almost 11 now, has always done really well in school.  His conferences always went great.  Last year he started slipping..the work is getting harder and I don't think he's ever been used to a challenge in school.  I had conferences last night.  His teacher is talking about his attention, he thought he was diagnosed ADHD and on meds.  I told him no, and that it's never been an issue with him before.  He's always done really well and able to stay on task.  The teacher mentioned meds a few more times.  

I wish school was different.  I wish we had those kind of schools I keep reading about, a more laid back, playful environment that encourage curiousity and learning naturally...instead of teaching them information just for a test.  I'm tired of my boys being squeezed into a little box.  My dd fits in the box just fine, it works for her.  But not for my boys.  I worry about getting them to graduation day.  I wonder how many more teachers are going to mention medication to me.

So, this was a vent, but also, suggestions?  Are you going through something similar?  Would you consider getting your kid diagnosed when you thought there was no problem?

by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ljmom24
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:29 AM
My sister is going through that but honestly I have an ADHD kid but I think her kids issues are a lot more then that. Maybe that's part but this teacher keeps asking if she has had him evaluated and it's like A 6 month wait to get into the only place taking her insurance.

Our experience was different ds school tried every intervention before saying something more is needed and even now that we are in his meds I notice through the years teachers teach differently when I forget it some mornings. This years teacher is good doesn't question unmedicated ds
wakymom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:30 AM

 If you don't want to medicate your child, then don't, especially if there is no reason to. Is there any reason that the teacher gave for thinking he needs meds, other than slipping grades?

As the subjects get harder, grades are going to slip for kids who haven't had to work hard for them before. We've had that this yr w/ ds2 (10, 4th gr). He used to get Outstandings/As on everything, but now that he has to work harder, he has some Bs thrown in there. It's normal. As long as there isn't a dramatic change (like going from As to Ds), I wouldn't worry about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:31 AM

I honestly do not think it has anything to do with "neatly fitting into a box". Rather, as kids get older certain behaviors are less tolerable. It's highly possible, particularly at age 13, that many of the concerns are coming from lack of maturity. I know that it's difficult for moms to understand, even though they want to, that their child is one of 30-35 an HOUR that a teacher instructs to on a daily basis. There is no time for adjustment for one kid. By upper elementary/middle school, the expectation is that junior comes prepared to learn/focus each day issues and all. The teacher can not and should not be expected to adjust for one. This is where the student has to own their problem and make modifications accordingly. Having said all that, I have not known one teacher in two decades that would suggest medication. They would, however, point out behaviors that a parent might then "hear" my kid needs to be medicated. The road is going to just get tougher going into high school. Your son needs to find some coping strategies quickly and/or maybe consider a smaller learning environment. Good luck!

mom2the.rescue
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:37 AM

He said he'll watch him working, and start staring off, fidgeting with stuff, etc.  That he has to keep reminding him to get back to work.  So I understand his thinking-that the kid might not be able to stay focused.  But when I say he's never had these issues, things have always come so easily to him, maybe he's gettin frustrated when it gets hard, I don't want the teacher to shrug their shoulders and say, "Talk to his doctor.  I'm not a doctor, but maybe medication would help".  

Quoting wakymom:

 If you don't want to medicate your child, then don't, especially if there is no reason to. Is there any reason that the teacher gave for thinking he needs meds, other than slipping grades?

As the subjects get harder, grades are going to slip for kids who haven't had to work hard for them before. We've had that this yr w/ ds2 (10, 4th gr). He used to get Outstandings/As on everything, but now that he has to work harder, he has some Bs thrown in there. It's normal. As long as there isn't a dramatic change (like going from As to Ds), I wouldn't worry about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


KyliesMom5
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:38 AM
I think it can depend on the teacher and their teaching style. My daughter was diagnosed with ADD in first grade and the meds made a HUGE difference. I kept her on the meds during the school year until 3rd grade. Kylie struggled a bit but passed. Her teacher was awful though. In 4th grade my daughter thrived. Her teacher was awesome! She had the kids up and moving most of the day so it wasn't just sitting at a desk all day long. Kylie works hard but she struggled to stay focused. This year she has done well also. Her teacher this year is different of course but just as good as the one last year.
mom2the.rescue
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:39 AM

I agree he needs extra help, that since things have always been so easy for him, he always got straight A's, he needs to learn ways to cope with the frustration of not knowing something right away and figure out how to plow through those feelings while getting the work done.  When I started asking about other services for him, it turns out there are options for tutors and labs I didn't know about.  And it's not that I just "heard" medication.  He specifically said it a few times, shrugging his shoulders, saying I might want to look into it and to talk to his doctor.  Why weren't the other options mentioned earlier in the year?  Ya  know?  I would have liked to have gotten him help before the end of the year.

Quoting mjande4:

I honestly do not think it has anything to do with "neatly fitting into a box". Rather, as kids get older certain behaviors are less tolerable. It's highly possible, particularly at age 13, that many of the concerns are coming from lack of maturity. I know that it's difficult for moms to understand, even though they want to, that their child is one of 30-35 an HOUR that a teacher instructs to on a daily basis. There is no time for adjustment for one kid. By upper elementary/middle school, the expectation is that junior comes prepared to learn/focus each day issues and all. The teacher can not and should not be expected to adjust for one. This is where the student has to own their problem and make modifications accordingly. Having said all that, I have not known one teacher in two decades that would suggest medication. They would, however, point out behaviors that a parent might then "hear" my kid needs to be medicated. The road is going to just get tougher going into high school. Your son needs to find some coping strategies quickly and/or maybe consider a smaller learning environment. Good luck!


maxswolfsuit
by Max on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:42 AM

Teachers aren't medical professionals and have no expertise in medication. He was out of line for even bringing it up. 

What grade is he in?

Will he start middle school next year? Some kids do much better with the switching classes. They get movement in between classes and the pace changes all day. If he's doing OK I would off even thinking about anything until you see how he responds to middle school. 

mom2the.rescue
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:45 AM

I can't help but wonder if some teachers mention meds because they know it 1-helps the kids focux & get better grades and 2-makes their job easier b/c they don't have a fidgety kid who needs reminders to get on task, bring home their work, etc.  I really wish I was able to homeschool, to educate them the way they need.  

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

Teachers aren't medical professionals and have no expertise in medication. He was out of line for even bringing it up. 

What grade is he in?

Will he start middle school next year? Some kids do much better with the switching classes. They get movement in between classes and the pace changes all day. If he's doing OK I would off even thinking about anything until you see how he responds to middle school. 


wakymom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:46 AM

 I've noticed the same on occasion w/ ds2 when doing homework- if he's struggling w/ something and he's not used to having trouble w/ it, he doodles, plays w/ the pencil, whines to try and get me to give him the answer. . . He apparently does not do this in school, but he's also a teacher-pleaser, so he works harder in front of her than w/ us.

If you think it might get the teacher off your back, you can always go to his dr and say, "This is what the teacher says." If the dr disagrees, just tell the teacher, "I did speak w/ his dr. Thank you for your concern."

Your ds is old enough to understand that he has to stay on task, even if he's having a bit of trouble w/ something. If he's fidgeting, maybe send something in his pocket, like a smooth rock, for him to rub as he's thinking.

Quoting mom2the.rescue:

He said he'll watch him working, and start staring off, fidgeting with stuff, etc.  That he has to keep reminding him to get back to work.  So I understand his thinking-that the kid might not be able to stay focused.  But when I say he's never had these issues, things have always come so easily to him, maybe he's gettin frustrated when it gets hard, I don't want the teacher to shrug their shoulders and say, "Talk to his doctor.  I'm not a doctor, but maybe medication would help".  

Quoting wakymom:

 If you don't want to medicate your child, then don't, especially if there is no reason to. Is there any reason that the teacher gave for thinking he needs meds, other than slipping grades?

As the subjects get harder, grades are going to slip for kids who haven't had to work hard for them before. We've had that this yr w/ ds2 (10, 4th gr). He used to get Outstandings/As on everything, but now that he has to work harder, he has some Bs thrown in there. It's normal. As long as there isn't a dramatic change (like going from As to Ds), I wouldn't worry about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

soymujer
by Mikki on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:54 AM

Usually, ADHD/ADD is diagnosed early on so I'm not sure if he would have it.  Have you talked to him to see what's going on?

family in the van   Mom of four


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