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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

I'm not cool

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:54 PM
  • 19 Replies
So was talking to my oldest last night and not even sure how it came up but he goes I'm not cool. Back story he had a cleft and still has repairs to go so he looks and sounds different. Never been picked on directly for it but certain kids harp on asking same question "what's wrong with your lip" when it's the same kids to be that's not being curious unless you are forgetful because he tells you year after year. Anyway because of this and other things in his iep he gets counseling in school and is in a social skill group but it stung a little last night to here him say he isn't cool.

He has friends and I know there are jerks in his class and grade but he has core friends who don't care what he looks like or talks like but his going into middle school next year (same school same kids we have k-8 schools) and I know that the preteen years can be tough so momma bear is coming out some.
by on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:54 PM
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Barabell
by Barbara on Mar. 31, 2014 at 12:57 PM
1 mom liked this

Not everyone is cool, and that's a wonderful thing. Life would be really boring if we were all the same.

What's important is whether he's comfortable with who he is. 

GwenMB
by Gwen on Mar. 31, 2014 at 1:45 PM

I'm sorry.

I agree that what's most important is if he's comfortable with who he is. But if he's saying he isn't cool, then he may not be happy with himself.

IMO, though, the kids who keep asking the same question year after year need to go to the social skills class.  I don't know how you do this, but it seems like someone needs to talk to them about everyone is different & it isn't polite to keep pointing out those differences.

ljmom24
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 1:58 PM
He didn't seem upset it was nonchalantly I'm not cool. I was never in the popular group and neither was dh. Oddly we still have the mostly the same friends. I'd rather he a few have close friends forever then a whole bunch of fleeting ones. Just since he was born I've been protective of his appearance and how people respond to that. He has one friend who's older brother has a similar birth defect so that helps. Funny though I did a little prying (aka momma bear) when he said that and it wasn't his cleft it was his like of school and that he is doing good and likes teacher and vice versa.

Quoting Barabell:

Not everyone is cool, and that's a wonderful thing. Life would be really boring if we were all the same.

What's important is whether he's comfortable with who he is. 

Dodie702
by Doriane on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Some kids are just cruel. Tell him to not listen to them and focus on his real friends.
ljmom24
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:09 PM
Ugh hate interrupts lost reply but think by what I got from him was less about how he looks more that he was liking school and that's not cool. Just happy sounds innocent but yes some kids have been down right rude with him on the cleft stuff. I told him he only has to say something once. He can however he wants a second time say he is not answering again and we will back him up at school but I addressed this last year and was told to tell them ASAP to address it.

Quoting GwenMB:

I'm sorry.

I agree that what's most important is if he's comfortable with who he is. But if he's saying he isn't cool, then he may not be happy with himself.

IMO, though, the kids who keep asking the same question year after year need to go to the social skills class.  I don't know how you do this, but it seems like someone needs to talk to them about everyone is different & it isn't polite to keep pointing out those differences.

KRIZZ25
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:25 PM
1 mom liked this
he better than cool..he is wonderfull,grate,fabuless(add ur own )
mommy053008
by Maria on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Not everyone is cool, but hopefully he is secure in himself and is OK with it.
GwenMB
by Gwen on Mar. 31, 2014 at 4:41 PM

Ahhh...I hate the 'its not cool to like school' phase!

Quoting ljmom24: Ugh hate interrupts lost reply but think by what I got from him was less about how he looks more that he was liking school and that's not cool. Just happy sounds innocent but yes some kids have been down right rude with him on the cleft stuff. I told him he only has to say something once. He can however he wants a second time say he is not answering again and we will back him up at school but I addressed this last year and was told to tell them ASAP to address it.
Quoting GwenMB:

I'm sorry.

I agree that what's most important is if he's comfortable with who he is. But if he's saying he isn't cool, then he may not be happy with himself.

IMO, though, the kids who keep asking the same question year after year need to go to the social skills class.  I don't know how you do this, but it seems like someone needs to talk to them about everyone is different & it isn't polite to keep pointing out those differences.


Barabell
by Barbara on Mar. 31, 2014 at 4:42 PM

If he's comfortable being "not cool," then that's a great thing! From your responses, it seems like he's pretty comfortable with the fact he likes school even though it appears that there is peer pressure to not like it.

It sounds like he's doing pretty well. You should be pretty happy with that!

Quoting ljmom24: He didn't seem upset it was nonchalantly I'm not cool. I was never in the popular group and neither was dh. Oddly we still have the mostly the same friends. I'd rather he a few have close friends forever then a whole bunch of fleeting ones. Just since he was born I've been protective of his appearance and how people respond to that. He has one friend who's older brother has a similar birth defect so that helps. Funny though I did a little prying (aka momma bear) when he said that and it wasn't his cleft it was his like of school and that he is doing good and likes teacher and vice versa.
Quoting Barabell:

Not everyone is cool, and that's a wonderful thing. Life would be really boring if we were all the same.

What's important is whether he's comfortable with who he is. 


ljmom24
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 5:02 PM
I know he hears it from his dad all the time if he had only not been so negative about school as a kid or teen.

Quoting GwenMB:

Ahhh...I hate the 'its not cool to like school' phase!

Quoting ljmom24: Ugh hate interrupts lost reply but think by what I got from him was less about how he looks more that he was liking school and that's not cool. Just happy sounds innocent but yes some kids have been down right rude with him on the cleft stuff. I told him he only has to say something once. He can however he wants a second time say he is not answering again and we will back him up at school but I addressed this last year and was told to tell them ASAP to address it.

Quoting GwenMB:

I'm sorry.

I agree that what's most important is if he's comfortable with who he is. But if he's saying he isn't cool, then he may not be happy with himself.

IMO, though, the kids who keep asking the same question year after year need to go to the social skills class.  I don't know how you do this, but it seems like someone needs to talk to them about everyone is different & it isn't polite to keep pointing out those differences.

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