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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Kids, Meds & Sleepovers

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 10:54 AM
  • 38 Replies

My 11yr old son has a friend who sleeps over often. Sometimes the guest is well behaved and polite., sometimes hyper and eratic. They are good kids and I'm pretty relaxed so it doesn't bother me too much when he's a little wild.  I have mentioned to his mom that sometimes he forgets his manners, but  I also tell her when he's good.

Last weekend he came over for a sleepover and he had a baggie of pills in his hand when he walked in the door. I asked what they were, and he said they were his "ADHD crazy meds". He said sometimes he forgets to take them, but he brought them this time.

I was concerned about how & when he was supposed to take the meds. I called his mom & dad and left voicemails, but never heard back that evening. The boy said he knew what to do with them and he'd take one pill right before bed, and a different one if he felt "crazy".  This is  the same kid who had been at my house at least 20 times, and I never knew that he was on meds, or had these issues.   And, there were at least 10-15 pills in the baggie - far more than the 2 he said he needed.

The next day when his dad picked him up, I asked about the meds. He replied that the boy knows when to take them and there's nothing to worry about. Also that they don't like to tell people because they don't want to embarrass the boy or have anyone judge him.

So here's what's going through my mind:

1 - What exactly are this kid's problems and why didn't the parents tell me in advance? 

2 - What if he leaves these pills laying around and my ds, dd, dog or cat eat them?

3 - Do I need a signed medical disclosure from every family that wants to have a sleepover at my house?

4 - What if this kid takes his medicine incorrectly while in my care?

5 - Do I have a right to know about my guests' medical and psychological conditions?

Before the boys request another sleepover, I feel like I need to establish some rules about medications in my house. They need to be put away in our medicine cupboard and I'll give the boy his pills according to the schedule provided by the mom & dad. I don't want them left lying around, and I don't want any accidental mis-use. 

Has anyone else dealt with this issue? I've asked a few friends and none of them had ever had this come up.

by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 10:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
dawncs
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 10:58 AM

 I have a severe chronic medical condition myself in life which requires medications to control it. I have some suggestions for you. I recommend before you have a sleepover with someone on meds that you ask the parents about the medications and when they are given out. At 11, he should know everything about it, and it sounds like it from what he said to you at the time. However, I recommend telling the parents not to have their child bring more meds than is needed to a sleepover because it could be a bad situation at that house depending on the household.

lionsmom951
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 11:29 AM

Thank you for responding. I agree with your advice. Although I'm frustrated that the parents didn't tell me their child was on medication. I guess I have to ask before every sleepover.

soymujer
by Mikki on Apr. 23, 2014 at 11:56 AM

My youngest has ADD and takes meds.  He has one main one that will last throughout the school day and then another one for if we need him to focus on things like church or a game in the evening.  When he stays over, I'll bag the pills myself and tell the adult which one to take when if they feel like he needs it.  I don't usually give his meds on weekends or no school days unless we have something where I need him to focus.

family in the van   Mom of four


mom2jessnky
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:02 PM

I always ask about food allergies. At 11 he really should be in control of that. My 11yo knows to take her allergy meds in the morning and her inhaler at night before bed. I warn parents that she can't eat gluten before she goes over to play and I pack her a safe snack.  At her age it wouldn't occur to me to tell a parent that she needs her inhaler before bed, she does that on her own. It would only be if she needed to be reminded or needed help that I would even think to mention it.

But the amount of meds he brought is weird.

ljmom24
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:29 PM

My almost 11 year old is ADHD. We only generally take medication in morning on school days or in morning when he has a game. He does have an OTC medication to help with sleep but who sleeps at sleep overs so it only goes to grandmas. Usually if its a friends sleep  over I don't send the ADHD medication (might make sure he had a dose that day) next morning they are usually groggy and sleepy so hyper isn't an issue. At 11 he knows he takes a pill for the ADHD and he knows he takes one at night to sleep. I often have him grab the pill bottle from the self if tied up with my other DS but NEVER do I allow him to take it alone. If he has a sleep over at grandparents and he needs to medication its given to grandma to hold and dispense. ADHD medication is a controled substance and kids as young as 11 could still get curious so I would NEVER just send him to a friends house with a bag of pills. I would give them to the mom with details. And if I ever found a friend of his in my house with a bag of pills I would take it until I reached mom for directions and even then I would be handing him the pill at the desired time.

Yes kids need to learn about their medication and yes they are probably ready for the responsibility but they are still kids and kids get curious. I don't wants a medical emergancy on my hands.

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 2:23 PM

 I ask about food allergies. Haven't had a medication situation come up.

Ds2 used to be on 2 different eye drops- he got both before bed and first thing in the morning. I would try to give them to him before sending him over, and then wait until he got home to give in the morning. If he was going over too early to give them to him, I'd send them and make sure I told the parent what to do. Never had a problem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 2:27 PM
1 mom liked this

No freakin' way. I would never have allowed the child to keep the meds on his person, in my home, and I wouldn't have given him any without instructions from the parent. I'm also a fan (although not militant about it) of the meds being in their pharmacy container, with written instructions on the front.

Your situation is a disaster (potentially fatal) waiting to happen - or a lawsuit. How irresponsible of the child's parents!

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















OHgirlinCA
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this

 I would ask the parents to give you a note explaining when he needs medication and ask that the medication be given to you upon arrival. 

I can understand why they didn't tell you their son had ADHD.  There is a huge stigma out there and people do judge parents as "lazy" if their child is diagnosed with ADHD.  That said, if they're going to have their child take medication outside of their home, they need to do it in a proper and responsible manner.

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 2:29 PM

ADHD meds are controlled substances, in general. If the child had overdosed on them, you could very well be held responsible, even if you aren't the parent, because the child was under your care.

You should ALWAYS tell other parents about your child's medications. What if the other child has younger siblings? They need to know there are meds, and where they are, to keep their OWN children safe.

Quoting mom2jessnky:

I always ask about food allergies. At 11 he really should be in control of that. My 11yo knows to take her allergy meds in the morning and her inhaler at night before bed. I warn parents that she can't eat gluten before she goes over to play and I pack her a safe snack.  At her age it wouldn't occur to me to tell a parent that she needs her inhaler before bed, she does that on her own. It would only be if she needed to be reminded or needed help that I would even think to mention it.

But the amount of meds he brought is weird.


I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee















lionsmom951
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 6:23 PM

Thank you! My dh said I was overreacting about the whole thing.

Quoting AutymsMommy:

No freakin' way. I would never have allowed the child to keep the meds on his person, in my home, and I wouldn't have given him any without instructions from the parent. I'm also a fan (although not militant about it) of the meds being in their pharmacy container, with written instructions on the front.

Your situation is a disaster (potentially fatal) waiting to happen - or a lawsuit. How irresponsible of the child's parents!


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