My 4 1/2yo DS got in a fight in daycare on the playground. Upon being told to stop, he refused and was sent to the office. I arrived, asked him if he made poor choices, and he starts grunting "H_____made me..........." I respond, "we have talked about this, YOU are responsible for your choices" well, holy terror of the devil erupts. My DS proceeds to hit, kick, spit, run around the halls, screaming." Like total loss of control, me = totally mortified.
So the aftermath=he was brought home, sent straight to his room after battling him for 20 minutes. Daddy got home and gave him a swat for spitting, he got to eat dinner, meat, vegetables, NO juice, NO fruit, NO milk. He got straight to bath, then bed, lost all privileges for the night.
For the spanking proponents, it is impossible to spank him during his anger as it elicits more of his rage. It would never stop a behavior. And for anti-spankers, we only reserve it once he is calm, for spitting on parents or teachers when angry.
We have had behavior problems with him from a very young age. He was considered developmentally delayed at one time, but really he is doing great, caught up exept emotional control. He was in behavior counseling at age3. He just explodes, gets angry and it's on, They are all about prevention, breathing, anger control, and essentially almost encouraged us to ignore discipline after an episode like described above. I am not opposed about going back to counseling, but it is thousands of dollars and frustrating when it just seems to be doing nothing beyond what we are doing at home. I have had him screened for early ed, he did not qualify as you have to watch him for a while to catch a spell.
My DH & I have two other children his older brother responds to typical discipline. We really do our best to be consistent, loving parents but not spoil him.
I know he's young for this group, but I feel overwhelmed, sad and honestly alone, and am desperate for suggestions or opinions from any who can relate. The toddler/pre-school group seems too young.