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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Sorry for such a long post... But I need help with this one!! :(

Posted by on May. 7, 2014 at 11:51 PM
  • 32 Replies

Okay so here we go-

My daughter has ALWAYS been hyper. Like beyond a "normal" amount. I asked her kindergarten teacher if maybe ADHD could be a possibility and he told me that it was to early to tell and that if it was that it would most likely be an issue in the 1st grade. Well fast forward a year later, she is in 1st grade, and we have some issues...

It has nothing to do with the educational aspect of anything. She's above average in every subject. She's reading chapter books and can do math like a pro. Her issues are strictly behavioral.

For instance- excessive/impulsive talking, inability to follow rules/directions, interrupting others, inability to stay in her seat, trouble transitioning between activities... the list just goes on and on.

Her teacher and I have been talking A LOT and today she sent home what is called a Vanderbilt. (A list of symptoms to check off) and my daughter had almost ALL of them checked in the often, or very often category. At home she talks back, blames others for her actions. (Whenever she's in trouble its always anyone else fault for whatever reason BUT hers) and the big thing is she always says, "I forgot"

Is memory affected by ADHD at all?

The kicker is that the things she forgets... or "forgets" (I'm not sure which) like if she decides to sit on the counter in the kitchen and I tell her to get down. 30 seconds later she's back up there and I'll say, "I just told you to get down." She replies with, "I forgot" It's things that she knows better than to do.

She got sent home with a note today of things that the teacher had to get on to her about. Running in the hallway, climbing a pole in the cafeteria, wandering outside when in line with the class, SHE EVEN SLAPPED THE CUSTODIAN ON THE ASS TODAY!! When asked why? She said, "I was just playing." (I'll admit that one was kinda funny but I didn't laugh in front of her.)

It's just things that she KNOWS BETTER than to do and to be honest it's driving me crazy! I don't know how to punish her, if I should punish her, how to have her evaluated. I am at a loss here! She's super pissed at me right now because her class is going on a field trip tomorrow and I told her that if she kept bringing the bad reports home that she wouldn't be able to go. Well I'm sure you all can assume she's not going.

I have the paperwork with all the symptoms from her teacher and it had a paper for me to fill out which I did earlier today. I'm going to call the pediatrition tomorrow to schedule an appointment for a check up and general evaluation I guess you'd say, then go from there.

Does anyone else have an issue like this? Are your children medicated? Does it help? What are they on? Should I medicate? I have no clue...

 

by on May. 7, 2014 at 11:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Precious333
by on May. 8, 2014 at 12:06 AM
Yes, my son is very very similar. He is 2nd grade. I.personally am not ok with medication (look at the book "adhd fraud") and we homeschool, so we can channel his energy into learning. I do see a frustration when he knows but 'forgets' or lacks self control to stop himself. Usually its something that isnt necessarily morally wrong, just socially not acceptable for a.certain setting.
GwenMB
by Gwen on May. 8, 2014 at 7:27 AM
1 mom liked this

How does your daughter sleep? Does she snore? Wake up rested or is she still tired?

I ask because we took my first grade son to the ENT Tuesday and one thing he asked about was behavior and if he has learning/behavior issues at school. Big tonsils can cause snoring which causes sleep issues and being tired causes behavior/learning issues. I'd ask for a referral to an ENT if your dd has big tonsils. ENTs will see ADHD symptoms go away after they remove the child's tonsils.

schatzi869
by Member on May. 8, 2014 at 7:36 AM
Sounds like she is just acting her age. My son does that. My bff's kids do that. My cousin's kids do that. I think schools push for the meds because they don't want to deal with the child's behavior. See what her doctor says though.
4wildbeasts
by Member on May. 8, 2014 at 8:50 AM
That is my son exactly! I hate the constant I forgots and it was an accident. Unfortunately I don't know what the answer is either. He does well academically, so do I really want to medicate him just for behaviors? It is such a hard choice since on one hand he is driving me insane, but on the other hand his cousin was on ADHD medication from a young age and he did not even go through puberty at all until a few months after he stopped taking the medication at 16 years old. I am talking no body hair, still a very high voice, and no growth spurt in any department ;) I feel like I have two bad options to choose from. Good luck to you. Oh and I find the smacking the janitor thing on the butt hilarious.
Verrine
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2014 at 8:52 AM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like ADHD. It also sounds like it is interfering with her learning and her school life and home life. If you have trouble like that with her at home 1 on 1, then you can bet she is disrupting the entire class, so that it is also interfering with their learning. Teachers don't bring a lot of stuff up directly so if the teacher gave you the Vanderbilt form (this is what doctors use for diagnosis) then it is a big problem. 

ADHD includes lack of impulse control. She wants to get on the counter, so she does. She does forget because she has trouble holding thoughts in her head. She also "forgets" because it is convenient. ADHD can be a reason. It should not be an excuse. She still has to follow rules. You need to determine what is most important regarding rules.

Do some internet searches for positive reinforcement ideas for children with ADHD. Praise is best because most of what she hears is negative. Rewards should be immediate and meaningful to her. Think how you train a puppy. We had some success with a chart for behavior. Most schools do a color system for the early grades, like green, yellow, red. When she comes home, she would color in on the chart how she has been at school that day. That makes her own the behavior. Make the goals achievable and the rewards something she cares about. For instance, green for the day gets 20 minutes of screen time. No red days for the week and she gets a dollar store prize, 3 green days and no red days for the week and she gets to choose the movie on Sat. It's up to you.

We medicate. My son has ADHD and is gifted. The medication (a form of Ritalin) allows his good points to shine through. In K, he was not medicated and there were a lot of notes sent home, although he was at the top of the class academically. He wanted to do the right thing, but couldn't. In 1st, he was medicated and won a behavior award! He is still noticeably more distractible from the other kids in class, but the teachers know that he is trying and that I am on their team.

If nothing else is working, then try medication. You stil have to provide behavior supports at home and the teacher will still give your child more than her fair share of attention, but good behavior becomes possible. We are also realizing that ADHD affects social skills and friendships. She is missing out on things beyond 2+2. 

There is a CafeMom group for this.    

mjande4
by Platinum Member on May. 8, 2014 at 9:03 AM
3 moms liked this

NO she is most definitely NOT acting her age. Her behavior is clearly out of control. 

Quoting schatzi869: Sounds like she is just acting her age. My son does that. My bff's kids do that. My cousin's kids do that. I think schools push for the meds because they don't want to deal with the child's behavior. See what her doctor says though.


ABCMomma0211
by on May. 8, 2014 at 9:14 AM
Yeah.

My six year old doesnt act like that at all!!!!

And shes one hyper kid

Quoting mjande4:

NO she is most definitely NOT acting her age. Her behavior is clearly out of control. 

Quoting schatzi869: Sounds like she is just acting her age. My son does that. My bff's kids do that. My cousin's kids do that. I think schools push for the meds because they don't want to deal with the child's behavior. See what her doctor says though.

ABCMomma0211
by on May. 8, 2014 at 9:16 AM
I agree about the tiredness....

My oldest will have a bad day if she is overly tired.

Quoting GwenMB:

How does your daughter sleep? Does she snore? Wake up rested or is she still tired?

I ask because we took my first grade son to the ENT Tuesday and one thing he asked about was behavior and if he has learning/behavior issues at school. Big tonsils can cause snoring which causes sleep issues and being tired causes behavior/learning issues. I'd ask for a referral to an ENT if your dd has big tonsils. ENTs will see ADHD symptoms go away after they remove the child's tonsils.

Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2014 at 9:19 AM
1 mom liked this

Regardless of ADHD or not kids NEED to behave. "I forgot" doesn't cancel out the not following directions. If you don't know how to discipline her, unfortunately you are part of the problem at this point. Get to the pediatrician for help and get to a behavior specialist as well to help you with discipline techniques for your child. ADHD doesn't excuse ANY behavior.

nomadbrat83
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2014 at 9:25 AM
Pretty much this. Oldest dd is the same. She is gifted as well as ADHD, SPD and a mood disorder. She is medicated and still has trouble focusing and being extremely impulsive, but we work with the school as well as have a 504 for her.

Quoting Verrine:

It sounds like ADHD. It also sounds like it is interfering with her learning and her school life and home life. If you have trouble like that with her at home 1 on 1, then you can bet she is disrupting the entire class, so that it is also interfering with their learning. Teachers don't bring a lot of stuff up directly so if the teacher gave you the Vanderbilt form (this is what doctors use for diagnosis) then it is a big problem. 

ADHD includes lack of impulse control. She wants to get on the counter, so she does. She does forget because she has trouble holding thoughts in her head. She also "forgets" because it is convenient. ADHD can be a reason. It should not be an excuse. She still has to follow rules. You need to determine what is most important regarding rules.

Do some internet searches for positive reinforcement ideas for children with ADHD. Praise is best because most of what she hears is negative. Rewards should be immediate and meaningful to her. Think how you train a puppy. We had some success with a chart for behavior. Most schools do a color system for the early grades, like green, yellow, red. When she comes home, she would color in on the chart how she has been at school that day. That makes her own the behavior. Make the goals achievable and the rewards something she cares about. For instance, green for the day gets 20 minutes of screen time. No red days for the week and she gets a dollar store prize, 3 green days and no red days for the week and she gets to choose the movie on Sat. It's up to you.

We medicate. My son has ADHD and is gifted. The medication (a form of Ritalin) allows his good points to shine through. In K, he was not medicated and there were a lot of notes sent home, although he was at the top of the class academically. He wanted to do the right thing, but couldn't. In 1st, he was medicated and won a behavior award! He is still noticeably more distractible from the other kids in class, but the teachers know that he is trying and that I am on their team.

If nothing else is working, then try medication. You stil have to provide behavior supports at home and the teacher will still give your child more than her fair share of attention, but good behavior becomes possible. We are also realizing that ADHD affects social skills and friendships. She is missing out on things beyond 2+2. 

There is a CafeMom group for this.    

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