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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Lost it

Posted by on May. 9, 2014 at 8:29 AM
  • 28 Replies
My dd has gotten in trouble at school. A lot. She is in K and there are just 5 days left.

She went 6 weeks without a single incident but has now had a couple of problems each week.

At the school's veiled request we had her evaluated for ADHD but the counselor said she didn't have it.

Yesterday was bad she pinched two of her friends over an argument about what allergies are.

We discipline her. And we reward her on her good behavior.

But I don't know why she is still having behavior problems this late in the year.

This morning I lost it. She was being defiant, trying to play with her toys when she needed to be in the bathroom. I yelled at her and she screeched so I spanked her.

In the bathroom she was goofing off and spit toothpaste all over her clothes, the floor and counter. And I almost slapped her, I realized what I was doing about midslap and stopped myself. It didn't hurt her. She didn't cry but she knows a spanking is discipline and the slap was done in anger.

I feel terrible. I try not to be aggressive to her so she is not aggressive but after this bad week and bad start to the morning, I just reacted. Very badly.

My hubby is home today so he took her to school and he is bringing her lunch and picking her up from school. So if she has a bad day he is the one who has to deal with the school. My nerves are shot. 5 days left but it feels like forever.
by on May. 9, 2014 at 8:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:33 AM
1 mom liked this

When is her birthday and how old is she? Is she young for the grade? It sounds like she is immature and it's negatively effecting her education.

m0mmy0ftw02012
by on May. 9, 2014 at 8:40 AM

 Sounds like my daughter. I think the teacher has it out for her. My daughter gets "yellows" for stupid stuff kids do. I try not to get mad, but i def. understand were you are coming from. I think my daughter has ADHD. Anyways good luck.. you can make it.... Just think its almost done :)

booboobear12
by on May. 9, 2014 at 8:44 AM
I know my dd teacher has it oh for my dd.
Some teachers actions reflect the child's reaction I vote plant a tape recorder on dd
mjande4
by Platinum Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:49 AM
4 moms liked this

Recording without BOTH parties' consent is illegal and inadmissible in most states. How about being the adult and accepting that your precious MAY JUST be the problem!

Quoting booboobear12: I know my dd teacher has it oh for my dd. Some teachers actions reflect the child's reaction I vote plant a tape recorder on dd


soymujer
by Mikki on May. 9, 2014 at 9:39 AM

I feel your pain.  My youngest who is ADD likes to play around instead of getting ready.  When my hubby is home to help, my mornings aren't so rushed and stressful.  There have been times I've done things that I feel guilty later and then we talk.  Not using his ADD as an excuse but that was before I knew he had it.  Now, I have worked on losing my temper and patience with him and am learning ways to deal with it.

family in the van   Mom of four


jaytee
by Jen on May. 9, 2014 at 10:17 AM
3 moms liked this

 

We all lose our cool every now and then. The important part is realizing it and doing something about it :-)

I am a yeller, I know this...I am working really hard on keeping calm...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

2-point-doe
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2014 at 11:37 AM

 we all lose it occasionally. However, I don't think that the teacher has it out for her since she was being defiant at home too. It seems like right around 6 kids go through a huge change. Just be consistent and I am sure she will come back around.

Andrewsmom70
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2014 at 11:46 AM
1 mom liked this
"Stupid kid stuff" if not dealt with at school, can end up overtaking a whole classroom of kids. Allowing it and excusing it is not appropriate for the classroom setting. God forbid kids behave at school. Why do you think your child should be allowed to act out and most likely distract other kids at school?

Quoting m0mmy0ftw02012:

 Sounds like my daughter. I think the teacher has it out for her. My daughter gets "yellows" for stupid stuff kids do. I try not to get mad, but i def. understand were you are coming from. I think my daughter has ADHD. Anyways good luck.. you can make it.... Just think its almost done :)

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 9, 2014 at 11:47 AM
2 moms liked this
It is okay. You realize your actions were a mistake, and you are handling it well by relying on your spouse. Now is a good time to have a one-on-one talk with your daughter about how you made a mistake but that you are going to learn from it and how you encourage her to learn from her behavior mistakes at home and school.
Traci_Momof2
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2014 at 12:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Don't feel bad.  We all lose it at times.  We all get frustrated by our kids when it seems they just won't learn their lesson.  I've had times that I just want to turn and run away as fast as I can.  Some days I don't know how I will deal with it.  Make sure you give yourself time to de-stress every day.  Whatever it is that works for you, allow yourself some time for it.  That will make it easier in the tense situations to keep your cool and have a little more patience.

Has your DD spent some time with a school counselor or school psychiatrist?  My oldest has had behavior problems in school and one thing that helped was him having a few sessions with the school psychiatrist.  He got to know my son and sort of how he ticks, and then he was able to give us some advice on good ways to help our son to want to do better.  Someone else trained in child psychology might be able to give you a different perspective that you haven't thought of.

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