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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Mother's Day juggling

Posted by on May. 12, 2014 at 6:25 AM
  • 16 Replies
1 mom liked this
How do you handle getting your day while still pleasing your mom and mil?

My mom makes it easy. She doesn't want a big production. Like me she hates dealing with crowded brunches. She also gets it's my day too so I should get to do with what i want. Issue is the in laws. For years we did what mil and sil wanted until the day we drove around for 2 hours trying to find a place for brunch. It was a nightmare and I was pregnant with my youngest. First place line was too long second place line longer so back to first but line even longer plus because they'd get mad my kid never are eventhough we are up a good 3 hours before them I didn't feed him. I lost it in the car. After that my oldest was in baseball and would have games and that was fine with me.

Well I guess other moms don't like playing on Mother's Day so now no games and back to this issue. Dh is great he gets it's my day too so no more running around. This year since with 2 kids now in baseball being home on a weekend is a novelty and yesterday I didn't want to go anywhere. Well aside from a badly planned tripped to grocery store where I think other moms had same thought. Who goes grocery shopping in moms day? Don't ask ;) but I got my do nothing day which was awesome because I was up all night but I guess now I'm a b'tch because I didn't want to spend it at sil.

I mean am I wrong? Am I not a mom too? If you get to stay home why can't i? Im never home especially on a Sunday. The kids got to play in yard, I got to nap. They still got to see grandma later in the day too.
by on May. 12, 2014 at 6:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Saharra
by Member on May. 12, 2014 at 6:41 AM
DH and I were discussing this on our way home yesterday. I loved his explanation to me. He told me that yes, my MIL and mom are moms, but their time of "taking care of kids is over". Still call and get a card and gift. But maybe drop it off the day before. Or after. He said my "Mothers Days" were just beginning and to remember that it's my day too. ;) I got a sweet guy ;)

Quoting ljmom24: How do you handle getting your day while still pleasing your mom and mil?

My mom makes it easy. She doesn't want a big production. Like me she hates dealing with crowded brunches. She also gets it's my day too so I should get to do with what i want. Issue is the in laws. For years we did what mil and sil wanted until the day we drove around for 2 hours trying to find a place for brunch. It was a nightmare and I was pregnant with my youngest. First place line was too long second place line longer so back to first but line even longer plus because they'd get mad my kid never are eventhough we are up a good 3 hours before them I didn't feed him. I lost it in the car. After that my oldest was in baseball and would have games and that was fine with me.

Well I guess other moms don't like playing on Mother's Day so now no games and back to this issue. Dh is great he gets it's my day too so no more running around. This year since with 2 kids now in baseball being home on a weekend is a novelty and yesterday I didn't want to go anywhere. Well aside from a badly planned tripped to grocery store where I think other moms had same thought. Who goes grocery shopping in moms day? Don't ask ;) but I got my do nothing day which was awesome because I was up all night but I guess now I'm a b'tch because I didn't want to spend it at sil.

I mean am I wrong? Am I not a mom too? If you get to stay home why can't i? Im never home especially on a Sunday. The kids got to play in yard, I got to nap. They still got to see grandma later in the day too.
ljmom24
by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2014 at 8:12 AM
Once I spoke up my dh was good about it. Mil didn't even have an issue. Should add we also just found out my mom has breast cancer, so she is pretty much gets what my mom would want to do trumps all and she knows we are stressed and busy and this is adding to it. It was the repeated text after dh declined the initial invite to his sisters. I mean why wouldn't he want to see what his wife wanted to do first? Just dint the why that's such a foreign idea that I have say in my Mother's Day. I bend to their needs for just about every other holiday. The other thing is dh is really told not asked. Like Father's Day will be the same. He will get tect saying what time to be at her place but we will have baseball plus my parents are morning people they aren't so she will schedule brunch a 11 but ds plays on Sunday mornings and if my dad isn't working he is at the game so what am I supposed to blow him off.

Quoting Saharra: DH and I were discussing this on our way home yesterday. I loved his explanation to me. He told me that yes, my MIL and mom are moms, but their time of "taking care of kids is over". Still call and get a card and gift. But maybe drop it off the day before. Or after. He said my "Mothers Days" were just beginning and to remember that it's my day too. ;) I got a sweet guy ;)

Quoting ljmom24: How do you handle getting your day while still pleasing your mom and mil?

My mom makes it easy. She doesn't want a big production. Like me she hates dealing with crowded brunches. She also gets it's my day too so I should get to do with what i want. Issue is the in laws. For years we did what mil and sil wanted until the day we drove around for 2 hours trying to find a place for brunch. It was a nightmare and I was pregnant with my youngest. First place line was too long second place line longer so back to first but line even longer plus because they'd get mad my kid never are eventhough we are up a good 3 hours before them I didn't feed him. I lost it in the car. After that my oldest was in baseball and would have games and that was fine with me.

Well I guess other moms don't like playing on Mother's Day so now no games and back to this issue. Dh is great he gets it's my day too so no more running around. This year since with 2 kids now in baseball being home on a weekend is a novelty and yesterday I didn't want to go anywhere. Well aside from a badly planned tripped to grocery store where I think other moms had same thought. Who goes grocery shopping in moms day? Don't ask ;) but I got my do nothing day which was awesome because I was up all night but I guess now I'm a b'tch because I didn't want to spend it at sil.

I mean am I wrong? Am I not a mom too? If you get to stay home why can't i? Im never home especially on a Sunday. The kids got to play in yard, I got to nap. They still got to see grandma later in the day too.
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on May. 12, 2014 at 8:31 AM

I never realized that people stressed so much over a silly greeting card holiday.  I did laundry and cleaned house yesterday.  *shrugs*  Not looking for a medal or sympathy, it's just a normal day in my life.

LoriAnn87
by LoriAnn on May. 12, 2014 at 8:40 AM

My mom passed away in 99 from breast cancer so I tried to visit her every year on Mother's day but sometimes I can't because she is buried about 2 hours away from me. As far my mil I don't see her at all on Mother's day because I can't stand that women we don't get along at all and I advoid her as much as possblie.

soymujer
by Mikki on May. 12, 2014 at 8:43 AM

Both our moms lives in different states.  Though, we could go visit my MIL since they are only 3 hours.  We just call our moms and wish them a happy day.  I will also leave a facebook post on my MIL page.  So, I don't have that problem.

family in the van   Mom of four


Dodie702
by Doriane on May. 12, 2014 at 11:39 AM
My mil lives in FL so I don't have to juggle. I spent most of the day with dh and the kids and then my mom and I went out to dinner together.
ljmom24
by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2014 at 12:20 PM

Guess the secret is living in seperate states ;) I really don't get why DH family makes things so much harder then they HAVE to be. Thankfully my family doesn't celebrate christmas because if we did I'd have long ago needed to be taken away by the men in the white coats.

LovlyRita
by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2014 at 12:31 PM
One if the benefits of my mom being Jehovah's Witness for so long is that she does not really celebrate holidays so we usually just do our own thing. This year the four of us went to the beach and spent the day exploring the tide pools. No drama, just a nice day. My advice is to plan something you enjoy and invite them along. They can join you or not but don't feel obligated to run around for them. I think most moms just want to spend time with their kids and have something to do,

FYI I went grocery shopping too and didn't think anything of it.
ljmom24
by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2014 at 12:40 PM

 

Quoting LovlyRita: One if the benefits of my mom being Jehovah's Witness for so long is that she does not really celebrate holidays so we usually just do our own thing. This year the four of us went to the beach and spent the day exploring the tide pools. No drama, just a nice day. My advice is to plan something you enjoy and invite them along. They can join you or not but don't feel obligated to run around for them. I think most moms just want to spend time with their kids and have something to do, FYI I went grocery shopping too and didn't think anything of it.

I was so busy Saturday didn't get to go and was talking to my mom and we are both thinking no one will be there on mothers day morning...WRONG WRONG SO WRONG. Did buy myself some flowers and for my mom too.

I am Jewish and DH is Catholic so my family doesn't do anything for Christmas which IMO and my moms means she can gave thanksgiving. Thats a whole other vent. I mean you get your grandkids Christmas eve and day and they don't have to run to other grandparents why can't my mom get Thanksgiving and no just because SIL in laws eat in the evening doesn't mean my mother has to change they way she has done things for OVER 30 years. Plus the kids go with my dad to the football game and then to my moms. Oh and doing it at my house just causing interfaith marriage issues when FIL wants to say grace. But yes different religions helps. In laws make HUGE productions out of bdays too.

DH is really good about it now but I heard the phone go off. I am sure its an odd place for him to be in. But honestly they had brunch at noon my kids had already eaten breakfast and lunch by then.

diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on May. 12, 2014 at 12:47 PM
I don't see why you both can't share your husband. He can spend half the day with you, and half with his mother. She is not your mother, you shouldn't spend the day with her. I don't go out with my mother in law on Mother's Day and she lives 15 minutes away.
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