Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice Needed: I have tried for a while to talk and try...

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 3:38 AM
  • 3 Replies

I have tried for a while to talk and try to give the best advice to my daughter that is 14 she wants so bad to be like the popular girls at school. And I tell her almost every day that they are just like us just because they might have more friends and have the nicer things in life doesn't mean there happy. And when one bully's its only to boost their own self esteem. They don't have their parents talking to them showing and telling them how they should treat others. When they do bully you just look at them and smile. I also tell her that always be the nicer one. If they say your ugly or look at you rudely just smile and say I have always thought you were pretty or in yr mind look at them and say to itself and what makes you better I see the 100 zits that you try to cover every day just like myself. Or in yr head say I always thought u looked like a troll or something. I was bullied in school and I remember that it hurt but I didn't care I had a few really close friends and a lot of guy friends and that worked for me. Well until I went to a new school in the 8th grade I couldn't take it and was switched back to the school I came from. Sorry but I need to know if I'm doing the right thing. I tell her what I did to make myself feel better but it wasn't the right thing, and wished I never chose that path. She tells me that I don't understand but I really think I do. I also ask her is there anything else that is bothering her that I could help with I tell her I am here for u.I try not to judge her or tell her what to do but give her options. But she shuts me out. Slams her door and said she doesn't want to talk about it.

by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 3:38 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-3):
Roo1234
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 4:29 AM
2 moms liked this
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is listen to our children without offering advice. It sounds like she needs a safe place to vent and the best thing you could do for her right now is just listen and ask her what she wants to do about it rather than telling her what you think. Let her solve these problems in her own so that she feels empowered, but be there to listen. At some point she might ask for your advice and will listen to what you have to say
CaptNumo9
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 4:29 PM

I was thinking the same thing as the pp...sometimes kids need to know that they can say what is really on their heart, knowing mom won't react or give advice. Sometimes just hearing their problem out loud from their own mouth gives them the perspective they need to move through it. Hug her, do special activities that she likes to do and let her talk (vent) when she needs to.  Here is an article that explains it: http://bit.ly/1nICOF5. Hugs mama! Keep seeking your daughter's company!

clairewait
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 4:29 PM

I just try to remember what worked for me when I was that age.

Our kids are our genetic clones. I didn't really want to talk to my mom at all when I was a teenager (though now we are VERY close and get along swimmingly), actually, and listened far more to my dad than anyone.

Maybe this is a job for your husband.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)