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Discipline for my 11 yr old for playing with matches.

Posted by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 9:26 PM
  • 18 Replies

I First off let me tell you what happened:

 Me and my little family (me and DH, and 3 kids) where over at a friends house visiting and our oldest boy who is 11 when into use the bathroom, well apparently ( our son told us this) he was curious about what was in the "small" little box on the back of the toilet so our son opened it and found matches, so our son lit one  and lit a piece of  face tissue on fire  but ended up putting it out somehow. (side not the tissue paper was in a bamboo tissue holder and the match burnt the tissue holder also). So needless to say we were pretty upset about it and I felt really bad that he had burnt our friends tissue box and that fact it could have gotten worse.

My question is this  what should punishment be? any of you mom's out there have any ieda's on how to discipline our 11 yr old for playing with matches.


also: our son has caught something on fire before but not with a match is was with a heater. :(


I am just not sure what we should try to get the point across to him that this is serious.

Thanks

Michelle :)
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 9:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
StarUnicorn
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 9:33 PM

also my DH does not think there should be discipline because he believes our son was just curious and has never played with matches before.

smurfy88
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 9:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Have him research and write a paper on fire safety.
geekymom08
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:12 PM
2 moms liked this
Take him to a fire department and let them talk to him! Show him how dangerous it is... And if he ever has a fire.... What to do!

As far as punishment goes, make him work off the cost of your friends thing he burned... And make him write them a letter explaining he's sorry and he understands what could've happened. As embarrassing as this sounds, make his father go places with him from now on since he can't be trusted in people's homes.... And maybe other spots with out burning things. Take away anything that can cause a fire. Until he can act responsible... He needs to be treated like a smaller child when it comes to heaters, and guest homes.
beadingmom17
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:16 PM
Pretty much this. The fire department is usually really good about lighting a fire under kids' asses (hee hee).

Quoting geekymom08: Take him to a fire department and let them talk to him! Show him how dangerous it is... And if he ever has a fire.... What to do!

As far as punishment goes, make him work off the cost of your friends thing he burned... And make him write them a letter explaining he's sorry and he understands what could've happened. As embarrassing as this sounds, make his father go places with him from now on since he can't be trusted in people's homes.... And maybe other spots with out burning things. Take away anything that can cause a fire. Until he can act responsible... He needs to be treated like a smaller child when it comes to heaters, and guest homes.
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clairewait
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:32 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting StarUnicorn:

also my DH does not think there should be discipline because he believes our son was just curious and has never played with matches before.

I kind of agree with your husband. I'm not saying you shouldn't sit down and seriously explain what the consequences of playing with fire are - but this behavior isn't totally outlandish to me. I mean. DIdn't you ever play with matches? Knives? Other things you knew were probably dangerous but you were curious?

If it was my child (who has done similarly age-appropriate stupid things) it works better not to make a huge deal out of it, but to just sit her down and talk about why we have certain boundaries, and also to explain that there is a time and a place for everything... when she's old enough, or has the right kind of supervision, etc. we'll let her try these things she's curious about.

That's my approach.

Freaking out tends to perpetuate the problem.

Now. If it becomes a sneaky habit - different story.

momtimesx4
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:40 PM

 LOLOL

Quoting beadingmom17: Pretty much this. The fire department is usually really good about lighting a fire under kids' asses (hee hee).

 

mangie22
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:57 PM
I agree with this!


Quoting beadingmom17: Pretty much this. The fire department is usually really good about lighting a fire under kids' asses (hee hee).

Quoting geekymom08: Take him to a fire department and let them talk to him! Show him how dangerous it is... And if he ever has a fire.... What to do!

As far as punishment goes, make him work off the cost of your friends thing he burned... And make him write them a letter explaining he's sorry and he understands what could've happened. As embarrassing as this sounds, make his father go places with him from now on since he can't be trusted in people's homes.... And maybe other spots with out burning things. Take away anything that can cause a fire. Until he can act responsible... He needs to be treated like a smaller child when it comes to heaters, and guest homes.
Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Aug. 11, 2014 at 12:33 AM
2 moms liked this
Since this is in essence a second offence and he is well old enough to know better,I would set up a tour of the fire dept, pull up pics of burn victims .and/or take a tour of a burn center, and have him write an essay about how fire functions and the positive and kegative aspects of fire.

I would also take him camping and teach him about fire. The "fire triangle" how to build a nice fire and make smores or roast hot dogs. Give him a time and place to experience fire. A lot of times simply teaching a child takes away the novelty of it.
Scarpetta71
by Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 3:59 AM

I might be a little soft on somethings, but my children know better than to go into someones house and mess with their things. Curious or not at 11 he would know what happens when he struck the match.  Your friends could have lost their home or worse,your son was very lucky that the damage was little. Have him research a burns unit and see what damage one little match can do.

Playing with fire is extremely serious in my book, if it was one of my children they would have received a spanking that meant left them never wanting to touch another match again.

GleekingOut
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 4:16 AM
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I have an 11yo who knows what matches are and what they do. If he did this he would DEFINETELY be punished. I agree with a previous comment of taking him to the fire station AND treating him like the child he is acting like when he goes out of the home.

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