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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Natural consequences.

Posted by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 1:46 PM
  • 45 Replies
I have been slated on a certain thread and answers to my questions for not letting DD(7) learn from natural consequences.

What sort of natural consequences have you guys used on your child/children and what ones should I use and don't mention the jacket fastening because I am not using that one as you already know?
by on Aug. 14, 2014 at 1:46 PM
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Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 1:52 PM
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 OMG - way too many to list.....

You eat when dinner is presented or don't eat...

You stay up too late and are exhausted the next day - you face the consequences

Making bad choices in not doing your homework - then get a lower grade or fail and you are grounded and miss out on free time and fun at home the next day (or whenever I find out!) LOL

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 1:54 PM
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 Here is another - we go on a oy Scout camping trip - someone forgets a cup... they get to figure it out. We do NOT loan out our personal equipment to the boys.  One boy used his bowl as a cup, another cut the top off a plastic water bottle for a cup, another decided he didn't need cocoa enough to get creative.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 2:25 PM
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I know that this may be hard to grasp, but natural consequences aren't really planned out.  They are what naturally happens as a result of the choices that you make.  Like staying up too late makes you tired and cranky the next day.  You don't wear a coat, you are cold and/or wet.  You don't eat dinner when it is served, then you get to either be hungry or fend for yourself later.

It is letting kids deal with the consequences of their actions/choices instead of micromanaging and sheltering them from what would naturally happen.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 2:27 PM

We do the same at scouts and on family trips.  A forgotten pillow resulted in my oldest using his duffle of clothing to rest his head on at night.  My youngest quickly figured out how to use his finger to clean his teeth when he forgot to pack his toothbrush.  I love how this method fosters creativity and problem solving skills.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

 Here is another - we go on a oy Scout camping trip - someone forgets a cup... they get to figure it out. We do NOT loan out our personal equipment to the boys.  One boy used his bowl as a cup, another cut the top off a plastic water bottle for a cup, another decided he didn't need cocoa enough to get creative.


M4LG5
by Gold Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 2:31 PM

 Before practice, I asked the girls if they wanted to something to eat before or after practice.  They said "after".  We get home and the other 2 eat but I had to take my oldest daughter to get a lock for her locker.  We get home at about 8:30.  9:10pm comes around and I tell her she needs to either take a shower now or in the morning....which one.  She chooses last night.  She gets out and I say, "alright....bedtime" (younger ones have an earlier bedtime).  She says "but I didn't get anything to eat!" 

"Um....we were home for 40 minutes.  Dinner was right there...why didn't you eat?"

"i don't know."

"Well, I guess you don't eat."

For those that will question her not eating dinner....she had pizza at afterschool program before practice.

Luvmy2babies22
by Bronze Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 2:34 PM

 ^^^ these are all good ones.  as long as it's not a safety issue, some kids have to learn some things in the school of hard knocks. 

when my kids get in their moods regarding their clothing or what i'm serving for dinner (just for example) my response is "your choice to live with.  my life doesn't change if you are wet/hungry, etc" 

momtimesx4
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 3:37 PM

 

Quoting M4LG5:

 Before practice, I asked the girls if they wanted to something to eat before or after practice.  They said "after".  We get home and the other 2 eat but I had to take my oldest daughter to get a lock for her locker.  We get home at about 8:30.  9:10pm comes around and I tell her she needs to either take a shower now or in the morning....which one.  She chooses last night.  She gets out and I say, "alright....bedtime" (younger ones have an earlier bedtime).  She says "but I didn't get anything to eat!" 

"Um....we were home for 40 minutes.  Dinner was right there...why didn't you eat?"

"i don't know."

"Well, I guess you don't eat."

For those that will question her not eating dinner....she had pizza at afterschool program before practice.

 

 

LOL

Jessiejack
by Bronze Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 7:17 PM

We have to use natural consequences a lot at our house. If I tell my son not to do something the first thing he does it just that. I use a tea pot each morning to heat up my water. Told him not to touch it, He is 6, he touched it. It was not too hot but he did get a little burn. So I will often say I would not choose to do..... but if you want go right ahead. That works a lot better. He has often gone to bed hungry for not eating dinner or watched others enjoy an ice cream because he did not want to eat the healthy stuff. Would not stop throwing rocks up in the air no matter how many time I told him, one came down and hit him on the head. It hurt but he was fine. Told him to not go out without shoes on, he did anyways and got stung by a bee. Again it hurt but He has not gone out again without shoes.  Most of the time its not planned lesson but just that it happens at the right time and place for him to learn the hard way. When you have very independent minded children it a matter of picking your battles

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 7:26 PM

 Ds2 used to refuse what was served for dinner- even the things he liked if he wasn't in the mood for them. Natural consequence- he went to bed hungry.

Ds1 refused to do his homework a few times. Natural consequence- he got in trouble at school for it and had to stay in at recess to do it.

Dd threw a fit once and flung herself back against the sofa- natural consequence was hitting her head against the wall and having it hurt for a few minutes.

You don't plan out natural consequences. They are what happen on their own as a result of a behavior.

 

 

 

HighlandJo
by Member on Aug. 14, 2014 at 7:28 PM
DD found out the consequence of riding her bike to fast this evening. She went out with her friends and was showing off in front of them, they were riding their bikes fast and DD wanted to keep up, she was riding quite fast (faster than she is used to), turned a corner far to fast and slid on a puddle which caused her to crash the bike and land hard on her arm, she came in screaming and bleeding on her arm.

She has also learned the lack of sleep lesson and not eating dinner lesson.

There are some natural consequences that I don't let her learn from, the main one, which you know about is, if you don't wear/do up your jacket you will be cold/wet. It is to cold up here in Scotland that it is necessary to wear a jacket and do it up, failure to do so could result in health issues which is why, during winter, her 3 in 1 will get fully done up (all of the zips) and she will wear a hat and gloves because temperatures can reach below zero. I may get slated for that but I am parent, if I want her jacket done up, done up it will get! If she won't then I will, no matter what anyone else thinks.

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