So, not sure if I'm just venting here or looking for advice from other moms who have gone through this. I've posted before on here many times about my daughter being retained in 1st this school year and many after hearing my story recommended for her to repeat. She was basically in the wrong grade (due to starting school too early and I wanted to retain her to basically make the grade correction) and she was struggling in some areas, was at the bottom of the class, etc. All along my heart and my gut tells me this is the right thing for her. I actually let her choose and explained that she had passed to 2nd, but that we could leave her in 1st another year so she could be with kids her age. And this is what she picked- to stay in 1st! She's as happy as could be, to be honest! Has the same teacher, which she loves! First day of school was super smooth, because she knew what to expect. And just yesterday said "I'm so glad school started already, I can't wait to go back to school"!
So clearly, I don't think this has impacted her negatively at all! I don't see any stigma from the retention, nor does she seem to be embarrassed at all, as she is excited to go to school! So then why am I having such a hard time with this? I was crying about it yesterday, and am finding it very hard to forgive myself for starting her early and not just placing her in the right grade since last school year. Which would have avoided this whole retention thing!
What made it really hard, was having to run into parents on the first day asking me what class she's in? And then having to explain why she's in the same class again. She then ran into many of her friends from last year, that obviously were also shocked to learn she was in 1st again. What killed me the most, was that one boy said to her "that's because she didn't pass the test". I don't think they were cruel or anything (atleast it didn't sound that way when she described it to me). Of course I was almost in tears by that point and in a crazy moment, said to her " You know you did pass, so we can switch you to 2nd if that's what you want". Her response was actually " NO, I want to be in 1st. I don't care what they say, I know I passed the test, I was just in the wrong grade".
I have to say, I think my daughter is way stronger than I give her credit for and the way she is dealing with it is just AMAZING! So, I just don't know why I 'm having such a hard time with this and is she really OK or pretending to be? Can someone who has gone through this please just tell me if this will all just be forgotten in a couple of months? Was it just really hard in the beginning to see your child retained? I just have a lot of guilt and do not want this to affect her socially with those other kids she was with last year. It kills me to think that she will always be thought of year after year as that kid in 1st grade that had to repeat. I really hope I still did the right thing for!