Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My daughter lost a good friend who passed away last night... small update update 2

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:02 AM
  • 25 Replies

We just received a call that one of the 4th graders passed away last night. He was one of my daughter's closest friends. I don't know how to help her with this. They said we could pick them up but I don't know if she wants to be or if she wants to stay with her friends. They have their Winter Concert tonight too and I don't know if she will want to attend it or not. I cannot imagine what his parents are going through right now.


Update

My husband talked to her and she is sad but okay. The school called back and they have postponed the Winter Concert to a later date and school will be cancelled on the day of his Memorial Service so that any students who want to attend are able to. Thanks for all of the kind words. 

Update 2

When my dd came home and my ds was out of ear shot, she told me that the teachers told them that he died from a fatal asthma attack. He was at school and fine yesterday. :( She seems to be holding up okay but we are keeping an eye on her. 

by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:02 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mom2jessnky
by Platinum Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:05 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry. :( I'd take your DD's lead on this one. I would assume if she wants to come home she'll call you to come get her. If she doesn't want to go to the concert she'll tell you.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:06 AM
2 moms liked this

I'm so sorry.  This is one of those situations where there isn't a right or wrong thing to do.  Listen to your daughter, both what she says and how she acts.  You will get a lot of clues as to what she really needs.  Do your best to be there for her and to listen to her talk about her friend when she is ready.

I would leave her at school as she can call if she wants to be home.  I know that when someone close to me passes, it is always helpful to be with others who are also experiencing that same grief and the other kids at school would be feeling the same as your dd.

Kissybratzmom
by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:06 AM
1 mom liked this
I am so sorry for your daughter's loss. Just make sure you are there for her if she has questions or wants to talk. My 15 year old daughter and her friends are having a little memorial for one of their friends tonight. Today is her one year anniversary of when she died.
polkablur1
by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:08 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm very sorry for your families loss. My husband lost his best friend when they were 12 and he talks about it often. I know it's hard to understand loss at that age. If it happened to my son, I would talk to him about this not being our final home and that he'd see his friend again.

I'm sorry you are going through this.
diaperstodating
by Queen25Princes on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:28 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry for your daughters loss.
When my son was in third grade a boy who was our neighbor, and his classmate and friend passed away.
momtoBrenna
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:33 AM

Thanks ladies this isn't something that I have dealt with on this side of things before. I called my mom and she said the same things that you are saying as far as following her lead. My husband is actually going to the school as we speak to talk to her and see what she needs, if anything. His boss sent him away and told him to go to her. 

lovemytwo88
by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:47 AM
1 mom liked this
How sad, right before Christmas :(
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I know for me, a hug from Daddy goes a long way in making me feel better.

Quoting momtoBrenna:

Thanks ladies this isn't something that I have dealt with on this side of things before. I called my mom and she said the same things that you are saying as far as following her lead. My husband is actually going to the school as we speak to talk to her and see what she needs, if anything. His boss sent him away and told him to go to her. 


momtoBrenna
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 9:59 AM

They have cancelled their normal school day and are playing games and talking with the counselors. He gave her a hug and she had been crying. She told him that she is very sad but okay and that she wanted to stay at school. He told them to call him if anything changes. He is 10 minutes from the school vs my 40. I also have to take my sister to sign the lease on her apartment today so I can't get over there right now. 

Quoting steelcrazy:

I know for me, a hug from Daddy goes a long way in making me feel better.

Quoting momtoBrenna:

Thanks ladies this isn't something that I have dealt with on this side of things before. I called my mom and she said the same things that you are saying as far as following her lead. My husband is actually going to the school as we speak to talk to her and see what she needs, if anything. His boss sent him away and told him to go to her. 


steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Dec. 12, 2014 at 11:01 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm happy to hear that she is doing ok and that there are counselors at the school to talk with the children.

Quoting momtoBrenna:

They have cancelled their normal school day and are playing games and talking with the counselors. He gave her a hug and she had been crying. She told him that she is very sad but okay and that she wanted to stay at school. He told them to call him if anything changes. He is 10 minutes from the school vs my 40. I also have to take my sister to sign the lease on her apartment today so I can't get over there right now. 

Quoting steelcrazy:

I know for me, a hug from Daddy goes a long way in making me feel better.

Quoting momtoBrenna:

Thanks ladies this isn't something that I have dealt with on this side of things before. I called my mom and she said the same things that you are saying as far as following her lead. My husband is actually going to the school as we speak to talk to her and see what she needs, if anything. His boss sent him away and told him to go to her. 



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)