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DD is extremely stressed and suffering....long

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:09 PM
  • 9 Replies

My 7 yo DD has always done well in school, and enjoyed it. She's very independent and loves people. She makes friends easily, gets a long great with her teachers, has never been in trouble. School has always been pretty easy for her. We switched her to a new school last year (1st grade) to an immersion class, so half her day is completely in Spanish, and the other half in English. She got a little frustrated, being behind the kids who started the year before, but she caught up and still loved it.

She's always tended to be a little flighty and forgetful, but over the summer, we noticed her attention and focus became much worse and was't just her personality. The beginning of this school year started off well, but she just has so much trouble completing work, staying on task, listening to the teachers, focusing on, well, any and everything. She became easily frustrated and agitated, and her teachers would notice her just staring at her work. She would just break down in tears if asked what was wrong, or if spoken to about it at all, and would just say she couldn't understand what she was doing. She's always loved to read, but lately refuses, saying she can read, but everything seems to make no sense and be all jumbled up on the page/

This became an issue at home, too, where she would just not do what she was told to do, cry easily if asked about it, get extremely frustrated with tasks. Refuse to do what she was told, roll her eyes, sigh, typical 7 year old girl things, but to the extreme.

We took her to the dr, and they put her on adderall for ADD (it's a family trait unfortunately), and things seemed better for awhile, then it started back up again. She will just flat out refuse to do what she's told to do, sigh heavily when told she has to do her work, cry when asked why she isn't doing it, hide under her desk, go to the nurse every chance she can get. She isn't being "bad," she isn't disrupting, or talking back. Just avoiding and becoming very withdrawn in class. When asked what's wrong, she refuses to answer, so her classmates will try to tell the teacher what's going on, the best they can. I get an email daily from her teachers, that she's just not doing well in class and really having a hard time. It is not a matter of not knowing what she's doing, just being frustrated and acting out.

We have had a lot of stress at home, so I know this plays a huge role, I"m sure. My husband and I are going through our own issues, have talked separation (though not with the kids). He's even left a couple weekends to go, then comes back home, because he just isn't sure it's right.  We've told the kids he just has gone to visit friends. But the kids notice the tension, and that we fight more,  which we try not to do around the kids. But it's very obvious to them that things are very stressful 

I'm not really sure how to help her. It's easy to get aggrivated with her moodiness and constant crying over "nothing" or her defiance, and it's even harder for my husband not to get angry. He isn't mean to her, he just can't understand it. My oldest as Aspergers and he's the same with him. He's come a long way, but it's difficult for him. As much as it makes me want to just scream or cry mysel or get on to her, I knwo that isn't the answer and won't help her. I know she has to see a difference in us, but I need help with helping her cope with her feeling and emotions. She's so far been able to explain how she feels very well, I just want to help her.

I need help with how to help her. She seems to be suffering the most and it's painful to see 

by on Dec. 12, 2014 at 6:09 PM
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Replies (1-9):
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2014 at 9:15 PM

 Maybe some counseling to help her learn to cope w/ the issues at home?






by on Dec. 13, 2014 at 9:35 PM
1 mom liked this

Have they tested her for anything like seizures?  My cousins son had something similar happening, he was also waking up exhausted after a full nights sleep.  On top of "spacing out" which every one treated as an attention issue... turned out he was having mini seizures in his sleep and also during those space outs... took them years to figure it out.  Once they did though, and got him on meds, the change was amazing.

by Bronze Member on Dec. 13, 2014 at 10:30 PM

THis is not atypical for kids with learning disabilities.  You might have her checked.

by on Dec. 14, 2014 at 10:47 AM

My daughter has gone through many medications for ADHD since they metabolize them quicker and either need them adjusted or a new one altogether. Adderall is called madderal for a reason and makes people very irritable, especially if the dose wears off quickly.

Ask your ped for a referral to a psychiatrist to help get a better diagnoses for what to expect with medications and such. ADHD is a lifelong battle and the medicine is never a one size fits all. Kids with ADHD need structure, visual scheduling, and clear set expectations. Medication can also make them anxious which contributes to my daughter saying " don't punch me in my skull!" when we tell her to go to her room for a cool down. SHe jumps to conclusions with anxiety ridden issues that she thinks could happen.

by Bronze Member on Dec. 14, 2014 at 12:03 PM
Is she dyslexic? Maybe it would be easier for her if she only had to focus on one language at school. Did she speak Spanish or know it at all before she stated at the school?
by on Dec. 14, 2014 at 12:17 PM

I agree with the others about getting her checked out by a counselor. They might be able to get her to open up through interactive play or something.

I would have no doubt that the stress of her parents relationship is affecting her as well. She might not know exactly what's going on, but if she sees that the two of you are stressed all the time, it's going to affect her emotions as well.

Also, could the immersion school just be too much for her to handle? You say she has ADD, so could it be that having to concentrate on doing work in two languages is getting to her? What about her other school? Did she have friends there? Does she miss being with them?

Good luck, I hope you are able to figure out what's going on.

by Gold Member on Dec. 15, 2014 at 12:02 AM
I'd also agree that a counselor is the place to start.

Whether you have talked to the kids or not, they live in the house too and know something isn't right.

by Member on Jan. 1, 2015 at 11:36 PM
Thanks for the advice and suggestions. We've all been sick so I haven't gotten back on to check for replies.
The comment about the seizures is very interesting because as a baby she'd have mini seizures, and make herself pass out.
I also think she needs to start seeing/speaking with someone.
by Platinum Member on Jan. 2, 2015 at 12:27 AM
My boys were in an immersion school. They said that 2nd grade was a sink or swim year. Things start to get much harder and keeping up with two languages is not easy.

That along with the added stress may have pushed her to the limit.

At minimum, I would get her counseling and probably see abput tutoring.
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