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Sharing new toys

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:20 PM
  • 19 Replies
so a friend of mine was trying to arrange a playmate with a friend over school vacation. Her friend responds they can't do it at her house because her kids aren't ready to share their new toys. Ok...

Now my oldest went through this stage around his birthday one year that his brother couldn't touch new toys for 2 weeks. Dh and I went along with it knowing his brothers bday was coming up and sure enough when shoes were reversed he learned a lesson in sharing. We did let his brother have 2 weeks then abolished the rule. It's never been an issue since.

Now my boys are getting ready to see cousins tomorrow and packing their new toys to play with. I guess I could see if it was something expensive and as the mom worried about it getting broken and therefor I would make that you off limits but we are talking 8 and 9 year olds so thinking old enough to understand sharing?!?!
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:25 PM

I have never and will never force my boys to share.  *shrugs*  I have no problem getting my kids to share things, but I don't see any reason to force them into sharing a new toy with anyone, siblings included.

ljmom24
by Gold Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:29 PM
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It's not that she would be forcing it was no you can't come to my house because of new toys. There is always that 1 special toy so fine great if you don't want others to play with it put it away while they are there. But to say no you can't come over because of new toys. Guess I just don't get it.

Quoting steelcrazy:

I have never and will never force my boys to share.  *shrugs*  I have no problem getting my kids to share things, but I don't see any reason to force them into sharing a new toy with anyone, siblings included.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 3:32 PM
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I would have still let the friend come over, but I can guarantee you that there would have been more than one toy being put away because they aren't yet ready to share with others.  I honestly don't see it as a bad thing.  Kids need to learn that they don't always have to share all of their belongings with others and that it is ok to tell someone no.  My boys always have a few things that guests aren't permitted to touch.  Heck, I'm 42 years old and I have things that I don't permit others to touch.

Quoting ljmom24: It's not that she would be forcing it was no you can't come to my house because of new toys. There is always that 1 special toy so fine great if you don't want others to play with it put it away while they are there. But to say no you can't come over because of new toys. Guess I just don't get it.
Quoting steelcrazy:

I have never and will never force my boys to share.  *shrugs*  I have no problem getting my kids to share things, but I don't see any reason to force them into sharing a new toy with anyone, siblings included.


canadianmom1974
by Silver Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 4:03 PM
Weird, was she just trying to get out of hosting and using that as an excuse?

I think we all have stuff we don't want to share, and if I can put up stuff I don't want people to touch, why can't my kids? But I wouldn't cancel a get together, I'd just pack away the toys they didn't want to share.

Honestly though, at this point I'm looking forward to a couple days with no company, nothing to do, where I can be lazy and marathon some Netflix. I might try to wiggle out of my kids having friends over too.
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othermom
by Silver Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:19 PM

I don't make the kids share their new toys unless they want to. usually they do just fine though it just depends on the toy

waytomanykids10
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 5:27 PM
This! My kids have their own bedrooms and their own toys. There is no need for them to share.

Quoting steelcrazy:

I have never and will never force my boys to share.  *shrugs*  I have no problem getting my kids to share things, but I don't see any reason to force them into sharing a new toy with anyone, siblings included.

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wakymom
by Ruby Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 8:58 PM

 We have a 24 hr rule: for the first 24 hrs after getting a new toy, my kids do not have to share it. After that, they are allowed to ask if they can play w/ each other's stuff. They do not always have to share, but having that 24 hr rule cuts down on the immediate "Cool! Can I play, too?" the moment something new is opened and the whining of "No! I just got it!" that used to accompany that.

They are more than welcome to share before the 24 hrs is up if they want. Dd got a Just Dance game for our Wii and was letting her brothers play w/ her on it that evening.

 

 

 

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2014 at 9:54 PM
I find it hard to believe that your kids never want to play with or share another child's toy.

We never force a child to share, but sharing certainly makes it more fun for all of the kids.

In the case of the OPs situation, it sounds like the mom didnt want to be bothered with a playdate and that was a good a reason as any. I cant fault her for not wanting to play referee if she knows her kids tend to get upset.


Quoting waytomanykids10: This! My kids have their own bedrooms and their own toys. There is no need for them to share.
Quoting steelcrazy:

I have never and will never force my boys to share.  *shrugs*  I have no problem getting my kids to share things, but I don't see any reason to force them into sharing a new toy with anyone, siblings included.

waytomanykids10
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 10:11 PM

 Where in the world did you get that they don't share with each other? I never said they didn't share, I said there is no need for them to share. If they don't want to share their toys with each other they don't have too.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3: I find it hard to believe that your kids never want to play with or share another child's toy. We never force a child to share, but sharing certainly makes it more fun for all of the kids. In the case of the OPs situation, it sounds like the mom didnt want to be bothered with a playdate and that was a good a reason as any. I cant fault her for not wanting to play referee if she knows her kids tend to get upset.
Quoting waytomanykids10: This! My kids have their own bedrooms and their own toys. There is no need for them to share.
Quoting steelcrazy:

I have never and will never force my boys to share.  *shrugs*  I have no problem getting my kids to share things, but I don't see any reason to force them into sharing a new toy with anyone, siblings included.

 

redheadtmk
by on Dec. 28, 2014 at 10:33 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it is silly to not have friends over because you dont want to share. What did they play with before the new toys? There are things they can do that do not involve new toys. I think there is a happy medium to sharing. Some toys are meant to share, others are not. New toys definitely need a grace period to be enjoyed by the owner before having to share.

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