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Why I Swear in Front of My Kids

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 9:41 AM
  • 23 Replies

Why I Swear in Front of My Kids

 As far as vices go, I don't have any major ones.  I don't smoke crack, for instance. And I'm not hiding a secret Keno addiction. I've overslept exactly once in the past two years, in case that tells you something about my personality. But here's what I do as a mom that others -- maybe even you -- may find inexcusable: I swear in front of my kids.

Let me clarify: I'm not swearing at them. It's just that sometimes -- say, when your bag of groceries breaks in the middle of the street while a car is coming and you're holding the leash of your (barking) dog and you've also made the grave mistake of trying to take an urgent work phone call -- there is no other solution but to drop the f-bomb.

At least not that I know of.

I still remember the first time I cursed. I was in eighth grade and coming home from school with my mother and older sister. Another car had just cut us off in traffic, and when my mom gasped and slammed on her brakes, I calmly suggested, "Why didn't you roll down the window and tell them to f@#% off?"

My mother (a teacher) and my responsible older sister were horrified. I, on the other hand, felt quite pleased with myself. I might make good grades at school and have a sensible hair cut (don't f&*$ing ask) but people better not underestimate what was going to come out of my mouth.

It's not like every word I say is a "bad" one and I don't curse in public. (Now, that would be rude!) But I've never bought the argument that there are "better" words to choose from. Really? I'm pretty sure I could spend hours poring through a dictionary and never find a satisfying alternative to any swear word.

"Dang," for instance, is nowhere near as forceful and meaningful as "damn." (And somehow sounds like you should be chewing a tall blade of prairie grass when you say it.) And although my husband tries valiantly to censor himself for the sake of our kids, saying "Sugar!" just doesn't convey that he's in a serious mess as well as if he'd said -- well, you know.

When I hear someone curse -- not a lot, mind you, just when they really mean it -- I can't help but feel some respect. Here's a person who's saying what they honestly feel, and isn't authenticity what we all strive for?

But of course, because I'm a mom, a valid question is: How does my "bad" habit affect my kids?

Four years ago, I found out. While visiting relatives during a sweltering Houston heatwave, we walked out of an air-conditioned home and into a car that was easily over 100 degrees. As we struggled (unsuccessfully) to buckle up without burning our fingers, I heard my son, then 6, pipe up in his sweet little voice, "Man, it is f#*&ing hot in here."

I know some moms would be horrified and lunge for a bar of soap to wash out their child's mouth. When I finally stopped laughing, I turned to my mother (who was also cracking up) and proudly pointed out: "And he even used it correctly!"

Eventually, I did explain to my son that many people find that word (among others) offensive, and that he was never to use it in school or in public or even that often.

But if he, or my daughter, curse when they really, really need to express their emotions and absolutely no other G-rated, or even PG-rated, word will do? Then they're finding their voice and that's f&$%ng fine with me.

Do you ever swear in front of your kids?

Do you make a big deal out of it if your kid swears?

by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 9:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
diaperstodating
by Queen25Princes on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:01 AM
I don't swear in front of my children, or ever. My children don't swear either.

(Ephesians 4:29)
mom2jessnky
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:49 AM
2 moms liked this

I swear in front of everyone.

My kids don't swear, I told them you have to be 20 to talk like a sailor.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 12:11 PM
5 moms liked this

The author of this pretty much sums up how things are in my house.  Yes, I do swear and yes, my children have been known to swear on occasion as well.  We all know that there is a time and a place for everything.

Although I have to admit that I nearly peed myself laughing when my sister's child tattled to my sister on me for saying the "s" word as my sister never swears around her children.  I look at my sister and say that I swear on grammy's grave that I didn't say shit.  Her son looks at me like I have two heads because he's never heard that word before in his life.  Then I realize that he considers stupid to be the "s" word.  LMAO  Five years later and I still find it really funny.

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 3:58 PM

 My kids are not allowed to swear. They can call things stupid, but not people. I prefer they not say "crap", but they don't get in big trouble if they do (they get a reminder that is not exactly a nice word).

I have been know to swear in front of them, but not often. When I do, it's just damn or s***. Although ds1 did hear me drop an f-bomb once- I was in the garage and he happened to be just on the other side of the door. I told him I should not have said that and he is to never repeat it.

 

 

 

JanetteA
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:06 PM

I don't swear in front of my kids, nor anyone else for that matter.

I've never heard my kids swear either, although I imagine my 18-year-old might say "damn" when she's out of my earshot. 

anotherandree
by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:09 PM

We do NOT drop the f-bomb.  We have green, yellow, and red words.  Some words are yellow for adults (shit and ass for example) but red for kids.  The f-bomb is a red word for EVERYONE.  Of course, we do not live in a bubble and my children have heard it but we reiterate that THAT particular word is not one that is used in our house.

2-point-doe
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:41 PM

I too swear regularly. (I work in constuction so it is pretty common language) I also swear in front of my child on occasion. She has been told that they are grown up words and not neccessarily nice eve for grown ups to say.

When she was about 2 something happened (don't even remember what) and she very clearly stated "Well that just pisses me off!" I laughed.

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:53 PM
1 mom liked this

 Colored words? that is way too much hassle..LOL

Quoting anotherandree:

We do NOT drop the f-bomb.  We have green, yellow, and red words.  Some words are yellow for adults (shit and ass for example) but red for kids.  The f-bomb is a red word for EVERYONE.  Of course, we do not live in a bubble and my children have heard it but we reiterate that THAT particular word is not one that is used in our house.

 

Jinx - Homeschooling, Scouting & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Life Scout Ian 1/98, 1st Class Sean 9/00, Junior GS Heidi 4/03. Wife to Joe & Alpha to German Shepherd Spazz.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:56 PM

Not to mention that ass is common word used for an animal used to haul supplies in rocky/mountain terrains . . .

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

 Colored words? that is way too much hassle..LOL

Quoting anotherandree:

We do NOT drop the f-bomb.  We have green, yellow, and red words.  Some words are yellow for adults (shit and ass for example) but red for kids.  The f-bomb is a red word for EVERYONE.  Of course, we do not live in a bubble and my children have heard it but we reiterate that THAT particular word is not one that is used in our house.

 


Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 5:57 PM

 Yes, i swear. Much more than I should.

I know that my boys curse when they are with their Dad or their friends. DH lets a lotof things slde that I don't. They know not to do it in front of me or other adults, not in scouts or school.

I DO hear my boys and the other scouts - mostly high schoolers - slip up now and again, and they get "the look" to which they turn sheepish and apologise and watch it again.  :)  By the scout law "..a Scout is clean." Not just in body but in mouth and mind. We all need reminders now and again.

 

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