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at my witts end with son

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 8:37 AM
  • 24 Replies

I just do not know what to do anymore about my son losing his winter gear.

My son is 11, and in 5th grade, this winter alone he has lost his snow pants, a hat I crocheted him and many mittens. he leaves for school with them but the items fail to return home, 

snow pants-- I drove him back to school that evening to get them. His hat is still MIA even though he claims he looked in the lost and found, and mittens could be gone forever, 

He takes a total of 3 buses most days (to school, to band after school and another one home) I looked on the 1st bus today but nothing was there, I do not think I should be responsible for driving to the schools to look in the lost and founds, but I am sure he really is not, 

How do I get him to be more responsible, he does not seem to care that they get lost, should I be punishing him? he says he does not feel them fall out of his pocket, or does not notice that they are missing, He is running out of stuff and I can not be buying new mittens all winter, 

Anyone else dealing with this, or am I just getting too worked up over nothing? 

by on Jan. 14, 2015 at 8:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ljmom24
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 8:48 AM

Does your school have a lost and found?? My probably is I never know if thats his missing hat because everyone seems to have the same hats and gloves and I never think to put names in them. We bought him new gloves before it got cold first cold day he came home with 1. REALLY. Youngest so far has lost 2 pairs of gloves. I do stock up on the cheap stretchy ones. May not be the warmest but if you aren't resposibale its your problem. I save the good snow ones for home. I have never sent them in ski pants because they don't really have applity to change or even store them. Same with boots. We do use work boots or hiking boots in the winter if its really bad to go to school. Then they can wear all day except gym days.

I really can't say much I have now twice lost my good gloves and my new hat once. Although I did find them.

SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Jan. 14, 2015 at 8:50 AM
A couple of ideas...

What happens if he doesn't have snow pants at school? At our school we have kids with no snow pants stay on the blacktop, so they are still outside but can't go in the snow at all. Perhaps if he doesn't bring snow pants home, then he won't have them at recess the next day and he'll have to deal with natural consequences.

The other thought is that maybe he buys the next set of replacement mittens out of his own pocket. If it's going to cost him to lose this stuff, maybe he will be a bit more intentional about keeping track of it.

ETA: I'm with PP in that we never send the good stuff to school. Hats, cheap gloves, etc. Ski gear stays at home. We do have to send warmer than stretchy gloves because of the snow and cold, but I get a cheap pair of warm gloves or mittens and those are designated for school use.
terpmama
by Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 8:51 AM
I'd have him use his allowance to replace them... Might sink in. Could you email his teacher and ask her to have him check the lost and found? Perhaps call the bus house and see if they have a list and found.
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 9:25 AM
3 moms liked this

You need to quit buying him more stuff as that isn't teaching him anything.  Also never, ever send the good snow gear to school since you'll need that at home and the replacement cost is much higher.  Cheap hats and gloves go to school.  Our school doesn't permit snow pants or snow boots, so I don't have that worry.

The next time he loses his hat or gloves, he has a few choices.  Find them at school/on the bus.  Save his money to buy himself new.  Or do without.

Sigmalade
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 9:27 AM

I stocked up on $1 gloves and hats. Ds is in k and has only lost one hat, which I think he actually traded with another child. I label his name on the outside and inside and his good stuff never goes to school. Like PP, I would just make him buy his own. We don't have snow pants here but maybe you could find some decent ones on sale now. 

mom2jessnky
by Platinum Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 10:48 AM

I agree.

Quoting steelcrazy:

You need to quit buying him more stuff as that isn't teaching him anything.  Also never, ever send the good snow gear to school since you'll need that at home and the replacement cost is much higher.  Cheap hats and gloves go to school.  Our school doesn't permit snow pants or snow boots, so I don't have that worry.

The next time he loses his hat or gloves, he has a few choices.  Find them at school/on the bus.  Save his money to buy himself new.  Or do without.


2boysmom48
by Member on Jan. 14, 2015 at 12:23 PM

thank you all for your great advise, I do have a few pairs of the cheap gloves that I normally send him to school in, it was so cold here last week that we let him wear the warmer ones, lesson learned on my part too I guess, don't send the good stuff, going to go stock up on more of the cheap ones this weekend, and hopefully he is looking in the lost and founds today for the missing items, 

LoVeMyLiLjBuG
by on Jan. 15, 2015 at 5:35 PM
My son does the same thing he had so many hoodies and winter hats he wore to school and then they never returned home..
Lindalou907
by on Jan. 16, 2015 at 1:30 AM

I think it's very common, as every schools lost and found is full of these items. It sure is frustrating for parents though. I would make him replace the items if he can't find them in the lost and found. Garage sales and thrift stores are affordable places to get them. If there is no consequence he will keep losing them.

Tracys2
by on Jan. 16, 2015 at 7:46 AM

Good info. I'd like to add that our lost and found is full of stuff like this, and often it's because the kids (1) don't like the stuff and this is a great way to get rid of it or (2) don't care.

Their parents (no doubt) TELL them to look in it, and they just don't really do it.

It would be worthwhile if you could either look through it or get someone else to (a husband or sibling)

And yes, motivation and consequences is all you have to work with here, as far as keeping stuff from getting lost over and over.

People DO lose things on our buses, but unless someone steals them (really not that common- I do see tons of kids turn things in though), they end up in the lost and found.

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