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Yay!

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:53 PM
  • 2 Replies

My youngest son (7) had his ARD for speech yesterday at school. His teacher is SO nice, and he really likes her. She seems to really like teaching and is helping him the best he can. She even said he was a joy in her classroom! 

I'm worried though, because he is SO VERY SHY! Once he gets to know someone, he opens up and is his usual silly self, but I know he comes across as shy and somewhat closed off. He won't even answer the questions out loud in class and can not speak to the whole group.

How can I help him? I have anxiety myself, and we both like things to not be different with our schedule. But I am not at all outgoing. I want him to feel free to speak up and make friends and just be a little loud and crazy. Any ideas?

by on Oct. 8, 2015 at 1:53 PM
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GwenMB
by Gwen on Oct. 8, 2015 at 2:02 PM

I don't know.  I had the same issue growing up and had to just work through it myself.  I remember thinking in 4th grade that it was a good thing when I went an entire school day without talking (I did it often enough - I remember thinking 'Yay! I didn't talk today!"). But my issue was more from trying to be good & invisible so my parents wouldn't fight - and that carried over to school.  I did have to work through this as I matured - but it was more a matter of being comfortable with the situation & finally making a couple friends.

So - perhaps inviting a couple classmates home to play (one at a time)? Ask him who he'd like to invite or ask the teacher who the kindest kids are in class and try to help him develop a few friends. Maybe if he has a friend or two in class (assuming he doesn't now), that will help.

It may also help if the teacher can gently encourage him to talk in class.  Maybe a reward if he says something (even just his name) would help.

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2015 at 4:35 PM

 I was very shy as a kid, too, but never refused to speak in class if I was called on. It was something that I just kind of work through on my own (drama classes in high school helped immensely, too).

Is he involved in any extra curricular activities? If he's not into sports, you could try him in Cub Scouts. One of the boys who was in ds1's Cub Scout den was so shy when he first joined that he spent the whole first meeting sitting with his head down on the table. As he got more comfortable with the group, he started participating more. That boy is now 16 yrs old, has held various leadership roles (including Senior Patrol Leader) in their Boy Scout troop, and is getting close to earning his Eagle Scout rank.

You could try role-playing at home so he can feel more comfortable speaking up in class. When he finishes a math page, have him give you his paper and then call on you to tell the answer to various problems. Read the same book together (or just a few paragraphs), then have him ask you questions about it. Then switch- you ask him.

Have you asked him why he won't speak in class, even when called on?

 

 

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