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Parent-Teacher Conference...sigh.

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:00 PM
  • 15 Replies

DD9 is in 4th grade and her annual parent-teacher conference was today. I hadn't met her teacher yet because her teacher was out on maternity leave when school started and XH took her to school orientation. 

The pluses - I liked her teacher. I was worried that I wouldn't. DD9 isn't getting in trouble for talking during class like she had been in K-3rd grade. Her teacher said she's smart, bright, gets along very good with everyone. 

The downside is that she's not turning in her homework. In fact, I had no idea there was a particular homework item due each week because she never brought the papers home for it. She has various worksheets for english, math, and social studies that she does and those get turned in. But this ONE assignment, she just flat out has been not doing it. 

Basically, during the week, while she's reading a book (which she reads for 30 minutes/day when she gets home from school), she has a "reading log" to fill out. It's just answering one or two questions each day. Each Monday, it gets turned in for the week prior. But she just won't do that part of the homework.

Given the fact I had no idea this was a homework thing, you can imagine my surprise when I learned she had 6 missing assignments because of this.

Does anyone else go through anything similar? If so, how do you correct the behaviour?

Obviously now that I know this is a part of her homework as well, I can make sure it's done, but what do you do? Do you leave it up to your 4th grader and keep them solely responsible for their own school items without any kind of guidance from you? Or do you basically "look over their shoulder" the whole time to make sure they're doing everything?

by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:36 PM

Does she use an assignment agenda?  If not, I highly recommend getting one.  Even a regular notebook would work to jot down her assignments for each subject and when they are due.  As she completes the assignment, have her check it off.  Learning to write down her assignments now will be of great help once she is in HS and college.

MrsKittyZ15
by Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 5:48 PM
Her school gives them out but she's not required to fill it out. I'll have her start writing down all assignments so I can keep track. That's a good idea, thank you

Quoting steelcrazy:

Does she use an assignment agenda?  If not, I highly recommend getting one.  Even a regular notebook would work to jot down her assignments for each subject and when they are due.  As she completes the assignment, have her check it off.  Learning to write down her assignments now will be of great help once she is in HS and college.

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 6:02 PM

 We still have that problem with ds1, and he's a junior in h.s. When he was in 4th gr (when the not-turning-things-in game started), we stayed on top of him- checked his planner, checked his folder, checked his backpack, exchanged frequent emails with his teacher, asked his teacher make a point of giving him an extra reminder to turn things in, and we made him do and turn in any work he was late with- even if he did not get credit for it. When he got into 5th gr, which is middle school here, there were days when I not only took him to school, but, dragging his younger brother and sister along, took him into school, walked him into his classroom, and stood over him while he turned things in.

Constant communication with the teacher is key (I've found email is best for most teachers).  Make sure your dd knows that you and her teacher are "talking" about this issue and checking in with each other. When possible, have her do the work and turn it in late, even if she does not get credit for it- hopefully she will learn that if she has to do it, she may as well do it on time and get a (hopefully good) grade for it instead of doing the work for nothing (a zero).

 

 

 

othermom
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 7:10 PM
1 mom liked this

My 4th grader comes home and does her home work on her own, but not all kids are like that. My son didn't like to. I had to remind him and have him work on them when I cooked dinner to make sure he got them done. If it was my child I would ground them fom tv and games (it is what my kids really like) until all those papers are turned in, even if they still get a zero on them and would be checking their back pack each day

MrsKittyZ15
by Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 7:21 PM
When DD gets home, I put her at the table with whatever homework she has to do that day and she doesn't get to do anything until homework was done. I figured by 4th grade, she would be responsible enough to do all of her homework without me watching over her shoulder. Apparently, I was wrong. I did end up grounding her today (she's not happy by any means but it's her own fault). I like the idea of making her do the work regardless. Luckily it doesn't require anything from her teacher, since it's the same work sheet each week.

Quoting othermom:

My 4th grader comes home and does her home work on her own, but not all kids are like that. My son didn't like to. I had to remind him and have him work on them when I cooked dinner to make sure he got them done. If it was my child I would ground them fom tv and games (it is what my kids really like) until all those papers are turned in, even if they still get a zero on them and would be checking their back pack each day

lenashark
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2015 at 12:08 AM

By 4th grade I would make them responsible for doing their homework without me looking over their shoulder. My son is in third grade, we have talked about responsibility and trust. I will trust that he will do his homework to the best of his ability and have it packed in his backpack by the door in the morning. In return, I will not bug him about it, he can do it whenever he wants, and I will not make him sit down as soon as he gets home with me looking over his shoulder. He likes the responsibility and wants to keep it, so he does his work well. In this situation, I would first talk to her and find out why she has not been doing it. If she had any knowledge that she was supposed to be doing these assignments, which I am guessing she did since it was a weekly thing, I would tell her that she is grounded until she has made up the six that she is missing even if the teacher won't accept them and that she will be writing a letter of apology to her teacher for not doing her work. We would be having a long talk about the whole thing. Being dishonest to mom is not cool and I'd make sure that they know that.

JanetteA
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2015 at 1:57 AM

Every Thursday night I remind my 13-year-old son about the reading log due on Friday.  He still forgets half the time.

It's not that he doesn't do the reading, it's that he doesn't remember to turn the log in.  

Personally, I hate reading logs, especially the kind they expect parents to sign off on.  One year I  told my DD to fake my signature on reading log.  .  

MrsKittyZ15
by Member on Oct. 27, 2015 at 7:37 AM
DD had those kind of reading logs in Kindergarten. These are the kind where she reads and then has to write like a paragraph about what she read that say. I know she does the reading because I make her sit at the table and do it every day. The writing part is ridiculous.

Quoting JanetteA:

Every Thursday night I remind my 13-year-old son about the reading log due on Friday.  He still forgets half the time.

It's not that he doesn't do the reading, it's that he doesn't remember to turn the log in.  

Personally, I hate reading logs, especially the kind they expect parents to sign off on.  One year I  told my DD to fake my signature on reading log.  .  

Hoos456
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2015 at 7:56 AM
We have that issue with Ss. He's in 8th grade now and it has always been a constant struggle with him. Planners and notebooks are only good if they use them. He was suppose to be taken out of band cause he refuses to do his band homework, but Dh and the school screwed that up. I've taken away the xbox last quarter but his Dad gave it back to him cause he had good behavior-his behavior isn't the problem. The xbox will be gone again this quarter and I'm gonna find some hard pointless chores for him to do-its the only thing that seems to help.
Kids are only allowed video games on weekends. I honestly think he has slight issues but his actual parents thinks he's the smartest kid. He is smart, but still has some kind of issue.
Good luck. Nip it in the butt now before it gets to hard later
Anonymousmama3
by Member on Oct. 27, 2015 at 7:59 AM
Maybe start signing her reading log paper that way you know it's getting done.thats what my kids school does we have to sign their reading chart,behavior chart and for my dd I have to sign her agenda they are required to use it.if they don't do the reading homework they have to miss recess and the teacher will make them do it in class
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