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7 yr old daughter whines all day

Posted by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 1:09 AM
  • 28 Replies

My daughter has always had chores even thought till 4 she didn't know it, because they were so simple like pick up toys, we made it a game,  at 5 we added some more in like pick up your room and feed the dogs.  At 6 we added empty the dishwasher and make her bed.  Now we have added putting her clothes away. And loading the dishwasher.  But when I tell her it's time for her chores you think I was  torchering her.  She screams loud and whines.  But she still does them at her pace, it could take her 2-3 hrs just to make her bed and clean her room.  But because she is thowing a fit my 3 yr old son thinks this is ok and how we act..  

She also cries and whines at bed time that she has nothing to do, I tell her read or color but it's bed time,  After I go to bed I assume that she is in there going to sleep. When she actually had raided my kitchen for food she didn't ask for. And toys that she got from the play room.  I have caught her up at 1 am on a school night playing in her room.  I have tried taking items from her room. She has even been grounded to her room  all day. But nothing seem to work.  It doesn't help that me and my husband discipline differently. I have tried talking to him about it, but seems to go in one ear and out the other.


I am just hoping her attitude gets better.

by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 1:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KendallsMommee
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 1:15 AM
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Wow.

My dd(8) is lazy and hates chores as well, but she would never get out of bed after bedtime, especially to raid the kitchen!

I have no advice other than use a baby monitor to hear her if she continues to get up at night. For safety reasons if nothing else.

Good luck.
Linda_Runs
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 7:58 AM

This exactly.  I have an 8 year old daughter as well who hates chores. 

I just put in a reward/consequences plan and stick to it.

Quoting KendallsMommee: Wow. My dd(8) is lazy and hates chores as well, but she would never get out of bed after bedtime, especially to raid the kitchen! I have no advice other than use a baby monitor to hear her if she continues to get up at night. For safety reasons if nothing else. Good luck.


quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 8:11 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh hell no. That would last for about a second in my house lol. I don't do theatrics.

Have you imposed time limits on chores? You have 30 minutes to clean your room or I will come clean it with trash bags so stop whining and get your butt in gear. I think that for the getting up in the middle of the night the natural consequence would be an early bed time the next day. That's a strange one though.

I think you and your husband need to have a sit down and agree on rewards and consequences for these behaviors. If you don't get on the same page and have consistency this sort of thing will only get worse as she gets older.
Jessiejack
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 8:40 AM
1 mom liked this

Have you tried putting an alarm on her door. My son has a door bell style alarm. Anytime he opens his door it rings so I know he is not in his room. I think a good solid behavior plan is needed. Sit down with you husband and make one you can both agree on and stick to it. 

mcginnisc
by Claire on Jan. 23, 2016 at 9:09 AM
1 mom liked this

My girls are 7 and 10. They both have chores they are required to do: keep their room clean, keep their bathroom clean, fold their laundry and put it away and help clean up the schoolroom ( we homeschool). 

In addition to those things, they have chores they do to earn money. Clean the kitchen table, set the table, vaccuum, dust, sweep, and mop. The rule is they have to do the above that is required in order to get paid for the bottom things. My 7 year old will resist cleaning their room, but she knows that if she doesn't clean her room up in a set amount of time, either DH or myself will go into the room with a trashbag and anything on the floor is going into the trash. 

What time is her bedtime? Do you have a routine? Have you asked her *why* she gets up, plays, and eats? If so, what is her answer? 

It might be time to seek the advice of your pediatrician in regards to the why and see if they can give you any insight into this behavior. 

 My girls have a loss of priviledges: their electronics, money, and thing like that if they don't meet certain expectations such as completing their chores and for their attitude.  

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

mom2jessnky
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 9:26 AM

If you cry, whine, and act like an ass over chores in my house you get more chores.

Oh you want to whine like a baby over loading the dishwasher? Cool Story, now you also get to wipe down all the counters. Still going? You can tack on taking out the trash to that list.

I've never had to add more than 2 chores before the kid got the hint to shut up and do their chores. I haven't had to add on in years because my kids just know you can do this 1 reasonable thing or you can end up cleaning the entire house, and it's no skin off my ass what you choose.

mom2jessnky
by Platinum Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 9:29 AM

As for the getting out of bed to raid the kitchen. Lock the cabinets? Although that seems drastic.

You could get those simple security things, when the magnets separate in the 2 pieces they let out a blaring noise, that would dissuade that behavior and then you'd know right away that she was out of her room.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 9:55 AM

I'm also going to agree that there needs to be consistant consequences for her whining over chores and a time limit set.  Alone the behavior is beyond ridiculous, but since her younger brother is starting it too, it is time to get really serious about this.  Everyone in the house needs to be on the same page with expectations, consequences, and rewards.

Also keep in mind that an over tired child will become hyper and resist sleep.  That could be part of the reason why she is still up at 1 am.  What time does she go to bed and get up in the morning?  From your post it sounds like she goes to bed at the same time as you.  She's a child and certainly needs much more sleep than you need, probably around 10 hours a night.  I would give her a consequence of a 15 minute earlier bed time every night that she is up playing and eating.  On the flip side, I'd set up that if she goes to bed like she is supposed to without whining or roaming the house x number of nights a week, she earns a little bit (like 30 minutes) later bed time on the weekend.

MasterJenJen
by Member on Jan. 23, 2016 at 10:20 AM
My 9 year old is the same way. We have put a timer on the things she ia told to do and if they aren't done by the time the timer goes off, she loses things. For example: she has 1 hour to clean her room. Anything left on the floor after an hour is mine and she can earn it back. It's not popular, but it gets her butt in gear.
SpicieSugar
by on Jan. 23, 2016 at 11:59 AM

Oh wow. I feel like my situation with my kids are so similar to yours. I have a 7 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. My son has always had chores to do along the same lines as what you give out. he always cries (litterally cries, no screaming tho) and does'n't want to do em and then he gets grounded to his room. When he does go to clean his room i find he is like me, has to look through and play with EVERYTHING first lol therefore taking him hours to clean a room that wouldn't normally take that long. He has feed the dog. put laundry in the basement, dishes in the sink and garbage in the bag and also the obvious put the toys in bins (i organize them later, and when hes done i do the sweeping and mopping) my daughter find when he acts crazy she does the exact same. specially at dinner time. but as far as cleanign goes, she does it all on her own already, dont know why...she just doesn. What we do, knowing he goes at his own pace, is make him aware of what the chores are, and by what time or date it has to be done by. or if they are not done on time he has a privilage taken away, like video games etc..or sometimes we make it a challenge do this chore in under 10 min (or an appropriate amount of time for the task) get an extra treat at deseart or an extra half hour with games etc.. and that seems to work.

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