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FYI, when you don't keep up your end of the bargain....

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:18 PM
Max
  • 15 Replies
1 mom liked this

As a teacher I regularly go above and beyond for my students. I frequently meet individual needs with special accommodations that take time from my schedule. But that's my job and I don't think twice about doing something that will help a student. 

Often parents request specific communication about behavior or academics. I feel strongly that working as a team parents and teachers can do amazing things for a struggling student. So if a parent wants more information on a regular basis I am happy to oblige. 

But more often than you'd think, parents don't follow through with the reports I take time to prepare. They don't sign them or don't follow through with agreed upon consequences or rewards. 

The time it takes me to prepare those things may seem trivial. But it's time that takes away from my students. If it's not helping the student in question I can't continue to devote the time to the parent's request. 

I just had a situation where a student was having issues with a handful of specific behaviors. The parents requested a daily report on his performance in class. After one week of reports piling up in his folder unread I stopped. The next week the parents asked why I wasn't sending reports. When I told I had been but stopped because they weren't reading them they explained they hadn't gotten a chance check for them. 

This is just inconsiderate. If I am taking time away from 20 students to write the report the parent can find time to read it. It takes less time to read and sign something than it does to write it all out. 

Please keep that in mind. We are all busy with our lives and schedules at home. But believe me, the teacher is busier during the school day. 

by on Mar. 22, 2016 at 7:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GwenMB
by Gwen on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:20 PM
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I agree that it's rude to ignore reports like this. But you don't actually know that any teacher is busier than any parent. They could have an equally demanding job (teachers aren't the only professionals with demanding jobs) or a demanding home life if they have lots of kids or kids with lots of needs or who knows what else going on (sick relatives, abusive relationship etc).

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:28 PM
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I don't think teachers have more demanding jobs than other people do. But if the teacher can take time out for the child, shouldn't the parent do the same? The teacher has to divide their time between 20+ children, the parents only have a few. 

It's sad when parents won't take 1 minute to read and sign a note from the teacher. I can't imagine a schedule that doesn't allow for that if it's a priority. I can understand why a something could slip for a night or two. But once a whole week has gone by it's hard to think the report is a high priority. 

Quoting GwenMB:

I agree that it's rude to ignore reports like this. But you don't actually know that any teacher is busier than any parent. They could have an equally demanding job (teachers aren't the only professionals with demanding jobs) or a demanding home life if they have lots of kids or kids with lots of needs or who knows what else going on (sick relatives, abusive relationship etc).


GwenMB
by Gwen on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:37 PM

Oh, your statement 'believe me, teacher is busier during the school day' led me to believe otherwise.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I don't think teachers have more demanding jobs than other people do. But if the teacher can take time out for the child, shouldn't the parent do the same? The teacher has to divide their time between 20+ children, the parents only have a few. 

It's sad when parents won't take 1 minute to read and sign a note from the teacher. I can't imagine a schedule that doesn't allow for that if it's a priority. I can understand why a something could slip for a night or two. But once a whole week has gone by it's hard to think the report is a high priority. 

Quoting GwenMB:

I agree that it's rude to ignore reports like this. But you don't actually know that any teacher is busier than any parent. They could have an equally demanding job (teachers aren't the only professionals with demanding jobs) or a demanding home life if they have lots of kids or kids with lots of needs or who knows what else going on (sick relatives, abusive relationship etc).


heydooney
by Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:38 PM
I can't say enough about my son's teacher. I don't agree with all of her decisions but she has gone out of her way so much for him. And he is a little shit sometimes, but we are working on a diagnosis. He has an evaluation Friday at a new place. I've asked her to make a list of his behaviors that are inappropriate or out of the ordinary, so I can give a better picture to the evaluator, and she agreed. Hopefully we can get some answers and some solutions.

Thank you for being willing to go above & beyond for your little people.
canadianmom1974
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:46 PM
1 mom liked this
I took it to mean busier during the day than outside of school hours, not busier than parents.

Quoting GwenMB:

Oh, your statement 'believe me, teacher is busier during the school day' led me to believe otherwise.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I don't think teachers have more demanding jobs than other people do. But if the teacher can take time out for the child, shouldn't the parent do the same? The teacher has to divide their time between 20+ children, the parents only have a few. 

It's sad when parents won't take 1 minute to read and sign a note from the teacher. I can't imagine a schedule that doesn't allow for that if it's a priority. I can understand why a something could slip for a night or two. But once a whole week has gone by it's hard to think the report is a high priority. 

Quoting GwenMB:

I agree that it's rude to ignore reports like this. But you don't actually know that any teacher is busier than any parent. They could have an equally demanding job (teachers aren't the only professionals with demanding jobs) or a demanding home life if they have lots of kids or kids with lots of needs or who knows what else going on (sick relatives, abusive relationship etc).

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maxswolfsuit
by Max on Mar. 22, 2016 at 9:55 PM
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Hopefully your doctor will ask the teacher to fill out rating scales. 

I think that's a very important part of the diagnosis. I strongly feel the diagnosis shouldn't be based only on the parents observations. Teachers can compare the child to others their age. 

Throughout my years as a teacher it's clear that specialists take more time to gather info and get a more thorough impression of the child's behavior. But some pediatricians seems willing to write a prescription or label a child based on their parent's opinion. As a parent I know that's not fair to the child. I have two kids that are miles apart. Comparing my youngest to my oldest he's totally nuts. Comparing him to average kids his age he's about typical. 

Quoting heydooney: I can't say enough about my son's teacher. I don't agree with all of her decisions but she has gone out of her way so much for him. And he is a little shit sometimes, but we are working on a diagnosis. He has an evaluation Friday at a new place. I've asked her to make a list of his behaviors that are inappropriate or out of the ordinary, so I can give a better picture to the evaluator, and she agreed. Hopefully we can get some answers and some solutions. Thank you for being willing to go above & beyond for your little people.


LovlyRita
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2016 at 12:31 AM
3 moms liked this
I totally agree.

When my youngest was in Kindergarten she was always forgetting to turn in homework. I could not drop her off at school so I started taping it to the back of her shirt. The teacher called me laughing and said she would start requesting homework from my daughter so I did not have to tape it everyday.

Teachers are so much more willing to go the extra mile when the parent takes the first step.
aetrom
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2016 at 12:52 AM
That is crazy. I too can see forgetting in the beginning but a whole week?
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mom2jessnky
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2016 at 9:43 AM
1 mom liked this

Hadn't gotten the chance to check? What are they doing all day long? I work, volunteer, cook, clean, take care of the animals, read things that are sent home and return them when I'm supposed to, spend quality time with my kids, manage everyone's appts and other obligations, get a full night's sleep, shower, get dressed everyday, and STILL have free time. So honestly what are they doing that they couldn't be bothered to use 30 seconds to check something? Assholes.

Those parents are probably swimming in spare time and just can't be bothered to use it on their kid because they might have to pause their "stories" to do it. Have to wonder if the reason their kid is having issues is because his/her parents can't be bothered to do silly things like parent the kid or acknowledge their existence.


steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Mar. 23, 2016 at 9:50 AM
1 mom liked this

Unfortunately we live in a time where a lot of parents think that it is the teacher's responsibility to "fix" their kid and that the parents can wash their hands of any behavior, emotional, and learning issues.  Drop and run is my motto for this type of parent.  Don't even get me started on the "I'm too busy to . . ." bull crap that a lot of parents pull.  Meanwhile I know of quite a few parents who work a full time job, take care of multiple children, manage their house, and still find time to voluteer.

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