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Staying with Grandparents over the summer

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2016 at 12:05 PM
  • 19 Replies

My daughter is 8 and she must've been super good on Easter because both of her grandmas asked me separately if she can spend some time with them this summer.

She's an only child.  My mother in law in AMAZING, she sews with her, takes her to play at the park and bakes with her. They have fun.  But my father in law is a douche(he has no patience for kids) so I don't think he'd handle a week with my girl very well.  I don't want to hurt MIL's feelings, so I'm thinking only a couple of days might be doable.

Then there's my mama who is phenomenal! She lives further away so it would have to be a week to make it work. And she has TONS of cousins to play with there. 

Here's the issue.  My daughter has ADHD and it's well controlled on her medication.  She's been on it for about a year. It's a once daily liquid dose that she gets with breakfast.  But we haven't told anyone in our family that she has that diagnosis and is on meds.  I don't want to deal with people judging her or us or talking about us behind our backs.  I'm confident in our decision to treat the ADHD as she's had a great response. But it feels like that would be inviting an unwanted commentary on how we raise her.

Should I bite the bullet and let her go?


by on Mar. 30, 2016 at 12:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mom2jessnky
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2016 at 12:21 PM

If you don't feel safe telling your family (or IL's) about your daughter's medical diagnosis, I sure as heck wouldn't leave her with them unsupervised no matter how amazing you say they are.

She has a medical diagnosis, and takes medication, that has nothing to do with your parenting, and anyone that judges you for that is an asshole. Plain and simple.

If her diagnosis was diabetes would you hide it shamefully in fear of judgment? NOPE! (or at least I hope not).


You can handle it without getting all weird about it. "Okay so Jane is going to be with you for a week, she's allergic to pineapple, likes to sleep with a night light, and she takes these medications 2x a day, she's pretty good about remembering to take them, but please just remind her/ask her about it at breakfast and dinner." Done and done.


I have left my kids with my parents for a bit, my oldest is on allergy medication and has Celiac Disease, no big deal. "Make sure she takes this in the morning, and no gluten or you'll get to deal with the horrible aftermath."


K3412
by on Mar. 30, 2016 at 12:24 PM

All summer is a lot for ANY kid and grandparent alike, especially with an 8 year old. I would limit it to one week with each grandparent, even if she didn't have medical issues. You don't have to go into why she needs to take the medication- just like mom2jessnky says. 

mom2jessnky
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2016 at 12:28 PM

Unless I read the OP wrong she's only planning on sending her kid for a week to her mom, and a few days to her IL's, not the whole summer. But I agree the whole summer would be WAY TOO MUCH for all parties involved especially with an 8yo.


Quoting K3412:

All summer is a lot for ANY kid and grandparent alike, especially with an 8 year old. I would limit it to one week with each grandparent, even if she didn't have medical issues. You don't have to go into why she needs to take the medication- just like mom2jessnky says. 


K3412
by on Mar. 30, 2016 at 12:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Whoops- I must have read it wrong! I think a week would be do-able then.

Quoting mom2jessnky:

Unless I read the OP wrong she's only planning on sending her kid for a week to her mom, and a few days to her IL's, not the whole summer. But I agree the whole summer would be WAY TOO MUCH for all parties involved especially with an 8yo.

Quoting K3412:

All summer is a lot for ANY kid and grandparent alike, especially with an 8 year old. I would limit it to one week with each grandparent, even if she didn't have medical issues. You don't have to go into why she needs to take the medication- just like mom2jessnky says. 


BonitaM
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2016 at 12:42 PM
I agree with mom2jessnky. My DD wants to be at my parents all summer long so I let her go. She comes home when she feels like it and sometimes goes to one of my sisters for a few days to a week. I go visit when I feel like it. She's not on any kind of medication but it wouldn't be an issue if she was. I know she's 100% loved and safe
Ritata
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2016 at 1:18 PM

Thanks mamas!  I was honestly more worried about aunts/uncles/grandpa than the grandmas.  But you're right, if it was anything else she was on meds for I would just tell them. 

mcginnisc
by Claire on Mar. 30, 2016 at 4:30 PM

If you trust the Grands to give her the meds while there, go for it. She would have a blast. 

My girls love going to the Grands' during the summer. They will go spend weeks at a time down there at their homes in Florida. 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Mar. 30, 2016 at 6:30 PM

I honestly don't see spending a week with the grandparents as a big deal.  My kids have been doing it since they were 3 or 4 years old.

As far as the meds go, just be straight up with g-ma about it.  She takes x doese of xxxx every morning with breakfast.  Please make sure that she remembers to do so.

Pukalani79
by on Mar. 31, 2016 at 1:07 AM
I would let her go
suetoo
by on Mar. 31, 2016 at 9:19 AM

Just thank them warmly and say you'd like to wait until she was older? Or allow an overnight and give med early before leaving, and late when back the next day? Or skip a dose? 

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