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Tough transition..help edit new question

Posted by on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:14 AM
  • 21 Replies
First week back has been rough for my daughter (8, in third). I expected this. She has been SO excited to go back, but third grade brings a different teacher (2, actually). She switches classes mid day, which I found out at the meet & greet 3 days before school started...no biggie!!

I know I can count on some opinions on this from you all!

She keeps telling me her teacher is mean. Her homeroom teacher.
She told me that she was reprimanded in front of the class for forgetting her notebooks in the other room on the 3rd day.
I had a mom fail of not having her binders for her on the first day (the supply list is seriously a FULL page and I told the teacher that I am still buying things, she said that was fine!). The teacher gave her a hard time about that when she didn't have her binders....that was really my fault.

Now...I am the type that takes everything the kids report back with a grain of salt. I know that this is the first week and things take time. I also think my kids should own their mistakes. I went out and got the binders.

But I kinda feel like this teacher should give the kids some leeway the first week, no? Was it also necessary for her to do that in front of the class? Kinda feel like she is crushing my kid a bit.

I would like to talk with her, but also giving the benefit of the doubt here. I'm. Going to let the first week go. At what point should I talk with her? I hate confrontation...but I also feel like I need to do everything possible to help my daughter look forward to school.


New Question

So things have improved some. I still feel like I am not on the same plane as this teacher, though. We are 3 weeks in and still new things. Would it be too soon to schedule a meeting with the teachers and ask them what their expectations are? I want to work together with them, but feel like I am flying blind.
by on Aug. 18, 2016 at 10:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
GwenMB
by Gwen on Aug. 18, 2016 at 12:53 PM
2 moms liked this

Poor kid, the first week can be hard, esp if the school routine is a little different from what they are used to. I'd maybe just email the teacher (or use whatever her preferred communication method is) and ask how the first week has gone. You could say that your DD seems to be struggling a bit and you're just wondering how things are going in class.

PinkButterfly66
by on Aug. 18, 2016 at 12:55 PM

Is this a fairly young teacher?

iamcafemom83
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 1:10 PM
I tend to think so....maybe in her late 20s/early 30s. I don't think she has been teaching very long.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

Is this a fairly young teacher?

mcginnisc
by Claire on Aug. 18, 2016 at 1:23 PM

Third grade is the "grow up year". This is the year that most teachers expect kids to be more responsible in regards to remembering their things from home, other classes, having materials, etc.. 

Honestly, it would depend on the nature of the reprimand if I thought it was out of line. Just telling a child that they need to remember their things as it disrupts the day is not harsh..if the teacher is screaming at a child, that is a problem. 

Talk to your dd about remembering her things and tell her that if it continues next week, you will reach out to her teacher. 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

coolmommy2x
by Platinum Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 1:30 PM
I agree with this.

Quoting mcginnisc:

Third grade is the "grow up year". This is the year that most teachers expect kids to be more responsible in regards to remembering their things from home, other classes, having materials, etc.. 

Honestly, it would depend on the nature of the reprimand if I thought it was out of line. Just telling a child that they need to remember their things as it disrupts the day is not harsh..if the teacher is screaming at a child, that is a problem. 

Talk to your dd about remembering her things and tell her that if it continues next week, you will reach out to her teacher. 

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iamcafemom83
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 1:35 PM
She told me that she was reprimanded in front of the class, but that the other student who also forgot something was not (should've added that in the OP, sorry).

I totally agree with her being responsible for her things...but this happened on like the 2nd or 3rd day, not half way through the year.
I did tell her that she should try to remember.... Though after feeling embarassed, I'm sure she won't forget.

Nature of reprimand is a good thought. I need to find out more about that.


Quoting mcginnisc:

Third grade is the "grow up year". This is the year that most teachers expect kids to be more responsible in regards to remembering their things from home, other classes, having materials, etc.. 

Honestly, it would depend on the nature of the reprimand if I thought it was out of line. Just telling a child that they need to remember their things as it disrupts the day is not harsh..if the teacher is screaming at a child, that is a problem. 

Talk to your dd about remembering her things and tell her that if it continues next week, you will reach out to her teacher. 

mcginnisc
by Claire on Aug. 18, 2016 at 1:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Don't worry about what happened with the other child...just worry about your daughter.  It doesn't matter when it happened. It disrupts the school day when they forget things in another room and have to go retrieve it. It disrupts their class as well as the other one. You're going to have to stop worrying about timeline in the school year. Teachers expect more in the first few days of a school year starting in 3rd grade. At 8-9 years old, they expect kids to be able to remember things right away. 

If it continues, reach out to the teacher and tell her your daughter is having a hard time and ask how you can help her. This will give the teacher an opportunity to explain to you why she thinks she is having a difficult time and maybe give you some ideas on what a resolution could be.

Quoting iamcafemom83: She told me that she was reprimanded in front of the class, but that the other student who also forgot something was not (should've added that in the OP, sorry). I totally agree with her being responsible for her things...but this happened on like the 2nd or 3rd day, not half way through the year. I did tell her that she should try to remember.... Though after feeling embarassed, I'm sure she won't forget. Nature of reprimand is a good thought. I need to find out more about that.
Quoting mcginnisc:

Third grade is the "grow up year". This is the year that most teachers expect kids to be more responsible in regards to remembering their things from home, other classes, having materials, etc.. 

Honestly, it would depend on the nature of the reprimand if I thought it was out of line. Just telling a child that they need to remember their things as it disrupts the day is not harsh..if the teacher is screaming at a child, that is a problem. 

Talk to your dd about remembering her things and tell her that if it continues next week, you will reach out to her teacher. 


Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

iamcafemom83
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Look I have no problem with expectations. I put them on my kids, and I certainly expect teachers to, as well.

My daughter is NOT a crier. She has come home crying twice this week. So yeah, I'm concerned.

And I KNOW about disruptions but damn it's the first flipping week. Things are going to be a little rough.

Thanks for your replies. I am taking consideration.






Quoting mcginnisc:

Don't worry about what happened with the other child...just worry about your daughter.  It doesn't matter when it happened. It disrupts the school day when they forget things in another room and have to go retrieve it. It disrupts their class as well as the other one. You're going to have to stop worrying about timeline in the school year. Teachers expect more in the first few days of a school year starting in 3rd grade. At 8-9 years old, they expect kids to be able to remember things right away. 

If it continues, reach out to the teacher and tell her your daughter is having a hard time and ask how you can help her. This will give the teacher an opportunity to explain to you why she thinks she is having a difficult time and maybe give you some ideas on what a resolution could be.

Quoting iamcafemom83: She told me that she was reprimanded in front of the class, but that the other student who also forgot something was not (should've added that in the OP, sorry).

I totally agree with her being responsible for her things...but this happened on like the 2nd or 3rd day, not half way through the year.
I did tell her that she should try to remember.... Though after feeling embarassed, I'm sure she won't forget.

Nature of reprimand is a good thought. I need to find out more about that.


Quoting mcginnisc:

Third grade is the "grow up year". This is the year that most teachers expect kids to be more responsible in regards to remembering their things from home, other classes, having materials, etc.. 

Honestly, it would depend on the nature of the reprimand if I thought it was out of line. Just telling a child that they need to remember their things as it disrupts the day is not harsh..if the teacher is screaming at a child, that is a problem. 

Talk to your dd about remembering her things and tell her that if it continues next week, you will reach out to her teacher. 

mcginnisc
by Claire on Aug. 18, 2016 at 3:56 PM

I never said you didn't have expectations. All parents have them of their children. I'm telling you that teachers will have more expectations starting now than they have in the past..and sooner.  The older she gets, the more expectations teachers will have the first few days of school.  It sucks, but they are trying to give them more responsibility sooner so they are used to it before middle school. 

I also said if you continue to have concerns to contact the teacher. Your dd should not be coming home crying. End of story. Keep a close eye on what your daughter is telling you and reach out to the teacher. 

Quoting iamcafemom83: Look I have no problem with expectations. I put them on my kids, and I certainly expect teachers to, as well. My daughter is NOT a crier. She has come home crying twice this week. So yeah, I'm concerned. And I KNOW about disruptions but damn it's the first flipping week. Things are going to be a little rough. Thanks for your replies. I am taking consideration.
Quoting mcginnisc:

Don't worry about what happened with the other child...just worry about your daughter.  It doesn't matter when it happened. It disrupts the school day when they forget things in another room and have to go retrieve it. It disrupts their class as well as the other one. You're going to have to stop worrying about timeline in the school year. Teachers expect more in the first few days of a school year starting in 3rd grade. At 8-9 years old, they expect kids to be able to remember things right away. 

If it continues, reach out to the teacher and tell her your daughter is having a hard time and ask how you can help her. This will give the teacher an opportunity to explain to you why she thinks she is having a difficult time and maybe give you some ideas on what a resolution could be.

Quoting iamcafemom83: She told me that she was reprimanded in front of the class, but that the other student who also forgot something was not (should've added that in the OP, sorry). I totally agree with her being responsible for her things...but this happened on like the 2nd or 3rd day, not half way through the year. I did tell her that she should try to remember.... Though after feeling embarassed, I'm sure she won't forget. Nature of reprimand is a good thought. I need to find out more about that.
Quoting mcginnisc:

Third grade is the "grow up year". This is the year that most teachers expect kids to be more responsible in regards to remembering their things from home, other classes, having materials, etc.. 

Honestly, it would depend on the nature of the reprimand if I thought it was out of line. Just telling a child that they need to remember their things as it disrupts the day is not harsh..if the teacher is screaming at a child, that is a problem. 

Talk to your dd about remembering her things and tell her that if it continues next week, you will reach out to her teacher. 



Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

mommy053008
by Maria on Aug. 18, 2016 at 4:14 PM
1 mom liked this
Mine is 8 starting third also. We have the opposite experience. She LOVES third grade, though it is a lot tougher with them having to grow up.
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