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Consequences for grades?

Posted by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 1:34 AM
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2 moms liked this
My dd10 thinks I am too harsh when it comes to the consequences for poor grades so I wanted to see what other moms do.

Our rule is that if you have any grade below a b in any subject or if you have any missing assignments you cannot have time with electronics or friends until you raise the grade or complete and turn in the assignment. They have opportunities for help both from us and from their teachers if they are having trouble understanding something.

I didn't want to make my original post too long, but I want to add a few things.

We always go over their homework together to ensure they understand. We also study together (usually through some sort of game) to ensure they understand the material. They also have a class they can go to after school to get help if they need it. in addition most of their teachers have days that they stay after school to help kids who need it. For example my ds Chinese teacher stays after school on Tuesday's and Thursdays for kids who need extra help.

They don't get punished for a grade on a single assignment or test, it's for the grade in the course as a whole. Also we always determine why the received a poor grade. If they don't understand the material they don't lose privileges, but we do study together each night until they are ready to retest. It's usually for no more than 15 to 20 minutes and we do a variety of activities to study so it's not boring and it's easier for them to retain the material.

They never lose more than one afternoon of privileges at a time. They also don't lose any privileges until we have determined that it was their lack of effort rather than their lack of understanding that caused the poor grade.

If they really don't understand something ut they are trying than they don't lose anything. In the end we want their best effort, not perfection. We have had one teacher that both kids have had and our kids know that we don't care about the grade in her class. We ensure they do the work, are respectful in her class and understand he material but that is all they are expected to do. Most of her students have a d or below. There are many things we don't agree with in regards to her methods (for example she refused to follow my ds iep plan when he was in her class) so instead we focus on ensuring they know the material and move on.

My dd is naturally good at almost everything I think very little effort. In fact her Spanish teacher will make her redo anything she gets less than 95% on because he knows her abilities. Her issues come mostly from not turning in assignments or from sitting and talking with her friends during class instead of participating in the lesson or doing her work. We have gotten to the point now where she is on task in most classes so it's generally a missing assignment. Right now she has 6 a's one a- and one d-. The d- is in the class that we don't count so it is fine. Last week she had 2 c's because she didn't turn in 2 assignments and she needed to retake a test. She list one day of playing to complete and turn in those two assignments but that's it. For the while school year she has only lost two days of playing with friends due to grades and ds has lost 3 so it doesn't happen often.
by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 1:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
coolmommy2x
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 6:41 AM
I agree with your DD.

In high school I had a hard time with math. Even with tutors, I could only get Cs. My DS is bright but lazy. My DD struggles to learn but us a hard worker and is in sp ed for math and reading. My expectation is that they do the best to their ability which is different for each one. No wxcuses for missing assignments.
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MasterJenJen
by Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 8:00 AM

I think at 10 its harsh. Though 4th grade is when it starts to get harder... so I can see making sure that you're paving the way for her to have good work habits in middle school. 

I personally dont do that. I help my daughter with her homework, make sure that its done as soon as we get home, make sure she is organized and have a very open dialogue with her teacher. We dont have a letter system in elementary here. My daughter is getting all 3's (meeting the standard) and one 2 (approaching the standard) and I am overall pleased with her report card. 

mcginnisc
by Claire on Oct. 27, 2016 at 8:18 AM
1 mom liked this

So, let me get this straight.. if your child brings home a high C on a test, she can't do anything except for study or do schoolwork until the next graded item brings her grade up? Yes.. that is utterly ridiculous...a child needs to work to the best of their ability and if a C is their best, they should not be penalized for it. They need some downtime or they will burn out and resent you as well as thoroughly hate school. 


Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

RaeMarie
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 8:50 AM
1 mom liked this
Totally depends why. Is it not understanding or is it being lazy or is it distraction? If they are truly having difficulty I would never ever ever punish them. I would look for a solution. If it is because they just are being lazy not turning in the work then absolutely. Discipline the behavior not their skill level.
mom2jessnky
by Platinum Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 9:00 AM

I totally agree.

Try your best, complete your work, those are my expectations.

Now if a kid is screwing off and getting D's and F's because they're lazy, or being a turd, yeah punish them, but if they're actually trying I would NEVER punish for that.

Good thing this OP's kid doesn't have the same teacher as that other poster's kid who believes A's should be damn near impossible to achieve, her poor kid would never be allowed to stop studying!

Quoting mcginnisc:

So, let me get this straight.. if your child brings home a high C on a test, she can't do anything except for study or do schoolwork until the next graded item brings her grade up? Yes.. that is utterly ridiculous...a child needs to work to the best of their ability and if a C is their best, they should not be penalized for it. They need some downtime or they will burn out and resent you as well as thoroughly hate school. 



GwenMB
by Gwen on Oct. 27, 2016 at 9:34 AM

I agree with you on the missing assignments part. I've been subbing at school for the last week for the teacher's aide who helps the 4th/5th grade math teacher. So I've been correcting 5th grade math assignments & seeing how challenging it is for the teacher when the kids don't go back & fix their errors on their math assignments. In my opinion, that would count as a missing assignment and I would want my kid to have it done before he could play with electronics or friends. 

When my siblings & I were in high school, we were expected to at least be on the B honor roll so we could get the 10% discount on our car insurance. If we didn't get the discount, we had to pay the difference. All of us got the discount except one brother - and in hindsight, it wasn't fair to him. He simply struggled more with school. He worked harder than the rest of us for his C's. So for 7 out of 8, that was a fair standard - but it sucked for the kid who was the exception in our family. I would go more by ability and if they are working to their ability, then it's all good.

It's also true that not everyone is good at every subject. So someone might not be good at science but is good at English or math. In this case, saying they should be on the B honor roll is fairer because grades average out. 

AidanTiarra
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:06 AM
No, that's not how it is. They could fail a test, but still have a b in the class. She very rarely fails any tests. Her biggest problem in school is that she would rather talk to her friends than turn in her work. Also she is never "grounded" for more than one afternoon. If she does her best and it's a couple we make an exception, but I need to see that she has tried her best. We go over her homework and study for tests together and there is an after school class she can go to to get help as well.

Quoting mcginnisc:

So, let me get this straight.. if your child brings home a high C on a test, she can't do anything except for study or do schoolwork until the next graded item brings her grade up? Yes.. that is utterly ridiculous...a child needs to work to the best of their ability and if a C is their best, they should not be penalized for it. They need some downtime or they will burn out and resent you as well as thoroughly hate school. 

AidanTiarra
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:11 AM
If she was doing her best and put in time to study but still only got c's I would be fine with that. She almost always does great on tests and she understands the materials when we go over them at home. In general the only thing that brings her grades down is not turning in assignments or talking with friends during class instead of participating.

Quoting coolmommy2x: I agree with your DD.

In high school I had a hard time with math. Even with tutors, I could only get Cs. My DS is bright but lazy. My DD struggles to learn but us a hard worker and is in sp ed for math and reading. My expectation is that they do the best to their ability which is different for each one. No wxcuses for missing assignments.
KendallsMommee
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:16 AM
My DD (fourth grade) has never had less than a B here and there so I never really thought about it. Hopefully she'll continue this trend.

I check her agenda book for assignments daily so missing assignments isn't an issue. I also check her grades online weekly.
AidanTiarra
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 10:16 AM
I help her with her homework and actually she helps other kids in many of her classes. She does well as long as she turns in her work.

Quoting MasterJenJen:

I think at 10 its harsh. Though 4th grade is when it starts to get harder... so I can see making sure that you're paving the way for her to have good work habits in middle school. 

I personally dont do that. I help my daughter with her homework, make sure that its done as soon as we get home, make sure she is organized and have a very open dialogue with her teacher. We dont have a letter system in elementary here. My daughter is getting all 3's (meeting the standard) and one 2 (approaching the standard) and I am overall pleased with her report card. 

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