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Homework

Posted by on Jan. 26, 2017 at 5:11 PM
  • 10 Replies

I am ready to scream. The little kids brought home a paper outlining a project they are supposed to complete at home, for a grade. DH took it upon himself to totally design, start and finish their projects for them. They will be upset that they didn't get to help for starters. Now dh is ticked to high heaven at me because I told him that the kids will not be turning in HIS work. He spent all afternoon on them though. So what?! He cannot do their homework for them! ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH

by on Jan. 26, 2017 at 5:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lenashark
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2017 at 5:13 PM
I'd tell him unless he's in elementary school, he shouldn't be doing a project.
RaeMarie
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2017 at 5:16 PM
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I do. He just can't help himself and it makes me crazy!

Quoting lenashark: I'd tell him unless he's in elementary school, he shouldn't be doing a project.


wakymom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 26, 2017 at 7:21 PM

Learning to let the kids do their projects on their own, with minimal help only if they asked for it, was one of the hardest thing for me to do. Yes, my kids have turned in things that did not look as fabulous as some of the others, but my kids did not of the work themselves, as opposed to those who obviously had more parental help. Hopefully he will get the message before they get too many more projects.







ladyj888
by on Feb. 11, 2017 at 7:17 AM

LOL, a typical occurance in parentlng and one I remember, now fondingly thought like you wasn't the case at the time.  By now you've probably calmed down and realized that you DH simply wanted to be a part of his childrens lives and did so in a manner that wasn't constructive to their being independent and proud of a work well done by themselves.  I'd suggest once this incident has toned down (by now I would assume so) you may want to discuss (calmly, and if you haven't already) what howework support from parents looks like to the two of you. You may even want to discuss why he felt the need to do it for them, and in general, come up together with other ways he can participate in their lives (leanring an activity together, playing a game, etc.), as to be able to spend time giving of himself to them in ways that you both agree on.  God bless and happy parenting!

Linda_Runs
by Silver Member on Feb. 11, 2017 at 8:30 AM

Agreed.  It is the child's homework, not the dad's.

RaeMarie
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2017 at 9:37 AM
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He did it because he enjoys such things himself. He spends a LOT of time each week coloring. It is his second favorite pastime. For other homework he does it because it is the easiest path to take. We have had this conversation dozens of times over. Our oldest is a sophmore so I have been dealing with this for 10 yrs already. I just have to stay on my toes and keep redirecting. 

Quoting ladyj888:

LOL, a typical occurance in parentlng and one I remember, now fondingly thought like you wasn't the case at the time.  By now you've probably calmed down and realized that you DH simply wanted to be a part of his childrens lives and did so in a manner that wasn't constructive to their being independent and proud of a work well done by themselves.  I'd suggest once this incident has toned down (by now I would assume so) you may want to discuss (calmly, and if you haven't already) what howework support from parents looks like to the two of you. You may even want to discuss why he felt the need to do it for them, and in general, come up together with other ways he can participate in their lives (leanring an activity together, playing a game, etc.), as to be able to spend time giving of himself to them in ways that you both agree on.  God bless and happy parenting!


silvermermaid
by Member on Feb. 11, 2017 at 6:12 PM
1 mom liked this
I know your DH shouldn't have done that, but on the bright side, I think it's awesome he is so involved. :)

Letting my 9 year old do projects without me completely taking over is a struggle, but I'm working on it. He has a wax museum project due next week on Gandhi and I helped (supervised) with the presentation board, but let him arrange things the way he wanted. It wasn't how I would have done it, and I had to stop myself from interfering too much, and I am getting much better at it!

Is there a support group for this? Lol. I kid, I kid...;)
PrincessAsmommy
by Silver Member on Feb. 12, 2017 at 12:06 AM
1 mom liked this

Threaten to turn him in to the teachers! LOL     Remind him that they can't learn anything if he does their work for them and that they actually wanted to do it. Then get the kids to do themselves. Remind him that the teachers will be able to tell that he did the work and will probably give the kids a failing grade on the assignments.

Our teachers are really strict on the amount of parental help they allow and make no bones about telling us in person at the start of the year as well as giving reminders in newsletters and emails. The higher grade (4-6) teachers will give a failing grade unless there is time for the student to redo without help. 

SissyAnn141
by Member on Feb. 12, 2017 at 11:48 PM
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Quoting RaeMarie:

I do. He just can't help himself and it makes me crazy!

Quoting lenashark: I'd tell him unless he's in elementary school, he shouldn't be doing a project.

 Honey, I just wish someone cared when I was in school.

 I stayed stoned and no one cared in i brushed my teeth nevermind homework.

 Your children have a wonderful mom and dad.

celticgodess
by Member on Feb. 12, 2017 at 11:53 PM
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Too funny! DH has been "helping" our preschooler with her VDay box for school. It's now a spraypainted unicorn with a main and everything! I told my 7 year old I couldn't wait till she started participating in science fairs. It should be fun to watch. But both my girls will stop him and tell him how they want it to look/function/whatever. At least their involved dad's, lol. Hopefully he learned a lesson today!
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