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Extra Gifts Requested

Posted by on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:20 PM
  • 19 Replies

My dh's family has Christmas with the extended family on the 23rd. At this Christmas all 16 cousins receive gifts from their great aunts and uncles. Each child will end up with between 5-6 gifts plus a gift from the great grandparents.

For 9 years we have NOT had any issues. But this year my SIL has decided her kids should get extra gifts on that day. She says that it's too confusing for her kids NOT to receive a gift from their grandma. She thinks since my MIL is giving her nieces and nephew gifts and not her grandchildren gifts it makes them feel like they don't matter.

She is demanding my MIL bring all 3 of her kids an extra gift so they can open it at the party.

MIL says no and is standing her ground. I am backing MIL.

SIL says since I was raised Jehovah Witness I don't understand what it's like to be a child and see their grandparent give everyone but them gifts. 

We will all be at MIL's house on the 24th to do Christmas with her and open gifts then. It's literally a 24 hour wait.

Thoughts? I feel like this almost falls into the same catagory of everyone deserves a prize or we have to be equal arguement. No I don't want anyone to BASH my SIL. I want to know if anyone can empathize or better explain where she's coming from.

Her kids are 9,7, and 5.


*** Update to try and clarify **

On the 23rd we travel to great grandpa's house. There we see all the great aunts and uncles. All the greats give their gifts. MIL is a great aunt to 15 kids and she will give them her gifts.

On the 24th MIL will host a family dinner for her boys. (SIL and I are married to brothers) and she will give us and the grandkids their gifts on that day.

SIL wants MIL to either go out and by 3 more gifts and bring them on the 23rd. OR take from the gifts they have already bought and give them to her kids early.  

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou-



by on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:21 PM

When people lose sight of the real meaning of Christmas, and this would qualify, then it's time to stop with the gift giving and maybe move to a white elephant gift exchange.

Sydel
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:24 PM

I did my first white elephant exchange at my office party last week. It was a lot of fun. I also hosted an ornament exchange on Sunday. Also lots of fun.

My SIL is an athiest. Or at least she claims to be. I enjoy being with family and I enjoy giving gifts. My girls are 16 and 10 and they have NEVER noticed, counted, or commented on other people's gifts at family parties.

Quoting mjande4:

When people lose sight of the real meaning of Christmas, and this would qualify, then it's time to stop with the gift giving and maybe move to a white elephant gift exchange.


WonTonFriedTofu
by Member on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:24 PM
I'm a little confused. Are they not getting gifts from Grandma because they're getting them on Christmas? Not that it matters. Nobody has any right to demand anybody give them or their children any gifts. That's not even really a gift at that point. It sounds like someone is just being obnoxious, but I may have misinterpreted what you wroten. It's a little unclear.
MysticLove
by Member on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:24 PM

If SIL feels that her kids need another gift to open, why can't she bring one from home?

sissyboogs
by Member on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this
I read it three times, and I'm confused. On the 23rd, the whole family gets together, and the nieces /nephews get gifts. The grandchildren are there, but they don't get gifts? Then, on the 24th, everyone gets together again, and the grandchildren get gifts then?
Sydel
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:26 PM

You are correct. My MIL does not give her grandchildren gifts on the 23rd at THAT family party. She ONLY brings gifts for her nieces and nephews and great nieces and nephews because that's when she sees them.

Then the NEXT evening on the 14th she hosts a dinner for her boys and their families. My SIL and I are married to brothers.

Our kids get to open all their gifts from grandma and grandpa on the 24th.

Quoting WonTonFriedTofu: I'm a little confused. Are they not getting gifts from Grandma because they're getting them on Christmas? Not that it matters. Nobody has any right to demand anybody give them or their children any gifts. That's not even really a gift at that point. It sounds like someone is just being obnoxious, but I may have misinterpreted what you wroten. It's a little unclear.


Sydel
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:28 PM

I will try to update. On the 23rd we travel to another family member's house for a big extended family Christmas.

There the kids get gifts from their great grandparents, great aunts, and great uncles.  So her kids will get between 5-6 gifts on the 23rd.

Then on the 24th my MIL will host a dinner for ONLY her boys and their families. And give their grandkids all the gifts they purchased.

Quoting sissyboogs: I read it three times, and I'm confused. On the 23rd, the whole family gets together, and the nieces /nephews get gifts. The grandchildren are there, but they don't get gifts? Then, on the 24th, everyone gets together again, and the grandchildren get gifts then?


sissyboogs
by Member on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Okay, I understand now. I'm that case, c yeah, SIL is being ridiculous. I'd tell her if she wants her kids to get their gifts on the 23rd, that's fine, but then on the 24th, they'll be sitting with nothing while everyone else opens theirs.

Quoting Sydel:

I will try to update. On the 23rd we travel to another family member's house for a big extended family Christmas.

There the kids get gifts from their great grandparents, great aunts, and great uncles.  So her kids will get between 5-6 gifts on the 23rd.

Then on the 24th my MIL will host a dinner for ONLY her boys and their families. And give their grandkids all the gifts they purchased.

Quoting sissyboogs: I read it three times, and I'm confused. On the 23rd, the whole family gets together, and the nieces /nephews get gifts. The grandchildren are there, but they don't get gifts? Then, on the 24th, everyone gets together again, and the grandchildren get gifts then?

Sydel
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2017 at 5:35 PM

I suggested she bring the extra gifts herself. But she insists that they have to be from my in-laws for her kids to not feel left out. But I dont' get where she's getting this left out theory.

Her kids will have 5-6 gifts handed to them. One just won't be from MIL.

But no other grandparent brings gifts for their grandchildren to that party either. SIL was trying to explain her reasoning and I just am not getting it.

Quoting sissyboogs: Okay, I understand now. I'm that case, c yeah, SIL is being ridiculous. I'd tell her if she wants her kids to get their gifts on the 23rd, that's fine, but then on the 24th, they'll be sitting with nothing while everyone else opens theirs.
Quoting Sydel:

I will try to update. On the 23rd we travel to another family member's house for a big extended family Christmas.

There the kids get gifts from their great grandparents, great aunts, and great uncles.  So her kids will get between 5-6 gifts on the 23rd.

Then on the 24th my MIL will host a dinner for ONLY her boys and their families. And give their grandkids all the gifts they purchased.

Quoting sissyboogs: I read it three times, and I'm confused. On the 23rd, the whole family gets together, and the nieces /nephews get gifts. The grandchildren are there, but they don't get gifts? Then, on the 24th, everyone gets together again, and the grandchildren get gifts then?


WonTonFriedTofu
by Member on Dec. 11, 2017 at 6:30 PM
Then I don't see what her problem is. Kids are big enough to understand how it works. That's how it always was at Christmas Eve dinner with my family growing up. Extended family who wouldn't be at the gathering on a Christmas day got/gave gifts on Christmas Eve. That's how it always was. We never thought we were getting gipped.

Quoting Sydel:

You are correct. My MIL does not give her grandchildren gifts on the 23rd at THAT family party. She ONLY brings gifts for her nieces and nephews and great nieces and nephews because that's when she sees them.

Then the NEXT evening on the 14th she hosts a dinner for her boys and their families. My SIL and I are married to brothers.

Our kids get to open all their gifts from grandma and grandpa on the 24th.

Quoting WonTonFriedTofu: I'm a little confused. Are they not getting gifts from Grandma because they're getting them on Christmas? Not that it matters. Nobody has any right to demand anybody give them or their children any gifts. That's not even really a gift at that point. It sounds like someone is just being obnoxious, but I may have misinterpreted what you wroten. It's a little unclear.

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