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My little girl is a nasty tween.

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2018 at 9:47 AM
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DD has always been very sweet child , helpful caring, well behaved and polite. She turns 11 in a week and that sweet little girl is gone a mean nasty tween Is here now. She rude, jealous and self centered. She happy to see me one minute, screaming the next minute. Hysterical crying can be brought on by anything mostly because the headband she wants to wear is wrong shade of a color she needs. 

Yuck. Now I understand what my mother went through, I wish she was alive to talk to about it.


by on Apr. 5, 2018 at 9:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2018 at 11:38 AM
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Is she involved in sports/activities outside of school?  How is her social circle?  Is she getting enough sleep?  

Linda_Runs
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2018 at 2:19 PM
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This type of thing and more happened to DD10 a few months ago when she turned 10.  Her thing is open defiance like a four year old!

She has seen more of the inside of her bedroom that I would like.

PinkButterfly66
by on Apr. 5, 2018 at 2:35 PM
6 moms liked this

Puberty sucks.

2-point-doe
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2018 at 2:45 PM
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I have bewn lucky so far. DD is 10.5 and has remained pretty even keeled. I think lots of extra curriculars and a big house help.

Linda_Runs
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2018 at 5:37 PM
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Mine DD is 10 1/2 as well and the busier she is the less trouble we have with her.  

Quoting 2-point-doe:

I have bewn lucky so far. DD is 10.5 and has remained pretty even keeled. I think lots of extra curriculars and a big house help.


wakymom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2018 at 7:28 PM
5 moms liked this

It's a rough time for all involved, but you will survive it. I've gone through it with my 2 boys (ages 19 and 14), and am still in the thick of it with dd, 12.

Make sure the house rules are clearly spelled out, and the consequences for breaking them. What worked as a consequence when she was younger may not work now, so be willing to try new punishments if needed.

Pick your battles. Decide what the most important things are, and let the rest slide. For me, I'm willing to allow eye rolling as long as my kids still do what they are told. As long as outfits are weather and school appropriate, I usually don't fight what they chose to wear (church and special occasions are the exceptions). Dd has taken to the whole "messy hair, don't care" thing; as long as she wears it in either a ponytail or messy bun so it looks semi-respectable and brushes it out after a couple of days, I've chosen to live with it, even though it annoys me.

Hang in there!






 

PrincessAsmommy
by on Apr. 5, 2018 at 8:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Aren't raging hormones fun?!   The best advice I can is what was given to me ... pick your battles VERY carefully; if you keep your tongue and emotions in check your tween will be more prone to too (if they haven't already spun out of control); make sure they know without a doubt that no matter how crusty, nasty, and impossible they get you will never love them any less and are always there for them (YOU are their soft place to land and safe place to allow those emos to roll); this is the biggy ... always remember that as overwhelming and mindboggling as it is for you it's double that for them! We've gone throught this and have learned how to master those mood swings and the changes going on in and around them. Their world is changing a mile a minute right now and at their age they don't have all the tools they need to handle it properly.  If you need to do your own venting and melting down make sure you do it where you can't be seen or heard. Tween are like toddlers with much bigger vocabularies!

1210maggie
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2018 at 8:16 AM
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We are on spring break right now. She has a big test and big science project due when schools starts again. Itโ€™s a big battle to get it done but we are almost there. She has lots of activities and Sports. There were conflicts so she had to made decisions and she isnโ€™t happy with her choice. Itโ€™s lesson learned do what you like it , not what your friends like. We have 3 more weeks and things settle down couple of activities come to an end. 

She has a lot of friends in all the things she does, different ages and different social circles. 

I just want her to be happy. 

Quoting mjande4:

Is she involved in sports/activities outside of school?  How is her social circle?  Is she getting enough sleep?  


mcginnisc
by Claire on Apr. 6, 2018 at 8:29 AM
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The tween years can be hard for a couple of reasons. 

1.) They are on their way to becoming adults. Think about it- in a handful of years, they will be able to go to college, live on their own and vote. They are trying to assert themselve as adults, but are unsure of the proper way to do so..

2.) Added onto the " I want to be a grown up" issue is that their hormones are changing. Many kids go through puberty between 9-12 years old. Their bodies are giving them the mixed signal that they *are* becoming grown ups and they are still fairly young. 

3.) Many tweens want to be popular..or at least liked. This means, they might follow the crowd and well, that can be hard for a girl to do. Sometimes, they end up being mean because that is what their peers are doing and they are following along. 

 We have to listen to them, but we also have to teach them *how* to assert themselves properly and to how to handle the hormonal changes they are going through as they mature. It is such a hard age for some kids. 

My oldest is 12 and she has always been super easy. Puberty was a breeze with her..now, we are in the throes of puberty with our 9 year old. She is learning that the way she speaks to us is very important. It can be a hard lesson sometimes. We have to remind her that she is not our peer and cannot speak to us however she wishes. She is learning, but some days it seems like it is 2 steps forward and 10 steps back. 

Puberty teaches us why some animals eat their young. LOL 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

SlightlyPerfect
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2018 at 8:33 AM
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Omg I feel the same way, and my DD is 9--it's just starting here. And my mom passed in 2014 at the age of 60 from brain cancer.
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