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**UPDATE** Sensory issues, or drama queen? Help.

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2018 at 6:32 PM
  • 25 Replies

Help. My daughter is so so stubborn. She might have sensory issues, but the teachers up at school kind of blow me off when I talk to them about it, so I am not sure if it's legit sensory issues or her playin' me like a fiddle. After a year or so, we got over the pants hump, (many "pants dances" later if she kept them on ;) ...) still aren't over the socks hump, (in fact she's taken scissors behind my back and cut holes in the corners of all her socks and even a pair of MY socks b/c she thought they were hers, in an attempt to eliminate the way the seams feel on her toes, now she won't wear any of them because they have holes... 😡😡😡), and now it's underwear. She was fine with a certain STYLE of underwear until she started saying they were tight, so I was like "Cool, I'll get the next size up in that same style". Well the next size up is actually 2 sizes up, (from 6 to 8 ) and now she won't wear them because they're "too bunchy". I'm ripping my hair out. She's been going to school with no underwear or socks for a couple of weeks. She sneaks out the door with no underwear and just tights and I don't notice til we get home. I go round and round with her in the morning. I'm so sick of going round and round with her. I noticed she wore some of her big sis's old "skirt shorts" as underwear, they are pretty much "boy cut" underwear. So I went this morning and got her boy cut underwear. Still a no-go. She won't give it a chance, she tries them on and rips them off immediately and screams and cries and is really dramatic about it. I've talked to her about acting like a baby. Also shoes - she won't tolerate her old OR new tennies I bought her, she insists on her fall boots with the fluff in them with NO socks, and you can smell her feet in Florida, I'm sure. But on PE days she HAS to wear tennies so she brings them, ties them herself, and has no problems. I don't know what to do with her. But with undies - I've told her she can't have things precious to her (currently it's her electronics) until she wears underwear under her clothes and walks around with them for at least ONE hour. Then we'll move on to 2 hours, 3, then a whole school day. RIght now I can't get her to keep them on for more than 3 seconds. It's embarassing, she is a tomboy and she wears her thin tights with no undies and rolls around and sometimes she gets holes in her tights on her butt cheeks. Everyone can see she's not wearing undies then. She'd be MORTIFIED if she knew other people knew. What do I do with this? There's more I need advice on with her, but this is the main issue at the moment. 
My first girl is an angel. Such a straight arrow. I was spoiled. I love her, but this one's giving me a run for my money.

Today I told her I'd let her go to school with no socks on, but she MUST WEAR UNDERWEAR. I explained I don't care what she puts on, even if it's winter clothes (it was almost 70 today), as long as SHE'S happy with what she's wearing, but she MUST WEAR UNDERWEAR. I also explained she had 10 minutes to come out dressed, because we were leaving, and if she wasn't ready, I was going to bring her as-is, even if she was naked in a towel, and we'd dress her in the counselor's office when we got to school, because her big sis has MAP testing this week and I am not going to let her be late because her little sis wouldn't put on underwear. 

Guess what? 5 minutes later a little girl emerged fully dressed (sans-socks but that's ok) and was ready to go. I checked to make sure she had them on, I quietly thanked God, we did an "undies dance", we giggled, and headed out the door for school. Praying for another good day tomorrow. She's even mentioned a couple of times that her undies haven't been a big deal today. I just keep telling her how proud I am of her, and I slipped her a couple of hershey's kisses. :)

by on Apr. 23, 2018 at 6:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Member on Apr. 24, 2018 at 6:44 AM


by on Apr. 24, 2018 at 6:47 AM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like just being stubborn. Id let her pick out underwear and socks.
by Member on Apr. 24, 2018 at 6:51 AM
My 8yo has issues with pants and socks too. We did leggings for a long time because jeans bugged her. But I started making her wear jeans because she tore through leggings so quickly. Socks I have her wear them inside out a lot of times.

One thing that’s helped us A LOT is, I have her get dressed for the next day at bedtime instead of putting on pjs. This is for a few reasons 1) saves her time in the mornings because she drags her feet and 2) her sleepingnin the jeans and socks help her “adjust” and get used to having them on. It’s eliminated many battles. We love warm weather because skirts and sandals are her favorite. Lol
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2018 at 8:12 AM

When my DD13 turned 8 the clothing battles started.  Like alexsmommy51405 said, see if getting her to pick her own clothes to buy helps.  This worked well with my oldest at that age.

Also, have her pick out her clothes the night before school.  Use the rule that the clothes that she picks out to wear for the next day are the one's that she puts on in the morning.  That might help alleviate morning dressing stress.  Believe me when I say that we have had a few morning clothing meltdowns here.  

by Member on Apr. 24, 2018 at 9:57 AM
ps: I had the same exact problems with pants and socks.
And I do not have any sensory problems. My 8yo doesn’t either.
As far as the underwear thing.... I’d be at a loss.
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2018 at 2:52 PM

My issue with dd, 12, is getting her to wear bras regularly. It's not a sensory issue, she doesn't like them. Until she developes too much to continue, we're compromising by letting her get away with not wearing one if her shirt is baggier and if she's just staying home. She has to wear one with normal fitting shirts and when she leaves the house. She's getting better about it. Not ideal, but better.

Trim the seams in her socks yourself. Time-consuming and annoying, but it may help since you can make sure there are no holes.

Wish I had a great idea for the underwear issue. Maybe try having her put on a clean pair right before bed so she's asleep as she gets used to them. If she throws a fit and yanks them off, she goes to bed earlier the next night. If she does it again the next night, make bedtime even earlier the next night. If she's going to act like a baby about it, treat her like one.


by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2018 at 4:24 PM
1 mom liked this

You can have a SIPT Certified OT evaluate your child for sensory processing disorder.  They are available in teaching hospitals. There are sensory aids to hel too..

by Member on Apr. 24, 2018 at 4:50 PM

It doesn't sound like she is being stubborn to me.  How about a trip to the doctor so she can refer you to a specialist and get a confirmation if she does or does not have sensory issues.

My son use to hate the ridges at the end of socks.  The best ones we found were at Stride Rite.  They have a variety of styles for both boys and girls.  

My son also disliked jeans because they were, "too hard."  There is a brand at Target called Denizen by Levis.  They have one kind he really likes that are like sweatpants, but looks likes jeans.  He likes style 231.

Maybe she would wear skorts?  Good luck.

I have heard good things about this book - 

The Out-of-Sync Child

Book by Carol Stock Kranowitz

"The Out-of-Sync Child broke new ground by identifying Sensory Processing Disorder, a common but frequently misdiagnosed problem in which the central nervous system misinterprets messages from the senses. This newly revised edition features additional information from recent research on vision and hearing deficits, motor skill problems, nutrition and picky eaters, ADHA, autism, and other related disorders."--Publisher description.
by on Apr. 24, 2018 at 5:04 PM

Not liking or tolerating seams in socks and underwear is indeed a sensory thing.  There are websites that point moms like you to seamless socks and underwear for kids like yours.

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