My 9 year old informed me today that she knows exactly how babies are made. I asked her to explain it to me, and she knew almost every detail. I asked her how she knew all of it, and she said that a friend at school told her about it. How could this happen? I was totally not ready for this talk, nor did I think my daughter was ready and now someone else has told her. You always hope that you are the first person that introduces the topic of sex with your child and before you know it, they are hearing it at school. I feel like I have let her down......I should have been on top of this! Has anyone else encountered this same problem? I have always intended to keep open communication with my girls, and now I feel like I have overlooked the first step to establish it. Help or advice would be appreciated.
Jill
Jill
Posted by
on Mar. 25, 2007 at 11:55 PM
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on Mar. 26, 2007 at 1:14 AM
I understand how disappointed you feel, but now that you know she knows how babies are born, now is the time to really talk to her. Let her know about your experiences. I think 9 years old is about the right time to talk to our kids about the birds and bees because of kids at school. Now's the time to establish trust between you and your daughter about intimate talks. Let her know that your the one she can go to when she needs help. I counsel girls a little older than your daughter at my temple, and I'm always telling them to go to their moms first to talk about anything and everything about their lives. I found out that sharing my own experiences with them opens them up a little more. I figure it should be easier with your own daughter. And if your a praying woman, pray, pray, pray! That's all the advise I can give you. Hope it helps. Good luck
Ann
Ann
by
on Mar. 26, 2007 at 7:49 PM
i haven't had to have the "talk", but my son (9yrs) did tell my daughter (6yrs) that it took a man and woman to make a baby. when asked to elaborate, he couldn't. or wouldn't.
i'm with you though--i'm not ready for that yet. and yes, i want to be the one to tell my children first.
i'm with you though--i'm not ready for that yet. and yes, i want to be the one to tell my children first.
by
on Mar. 27, 2007 at 7:41 AM
Sorry to hear that, its amazing how young these things happen now. All you can do, is let her know that you are the one she should come to with any questions.
I had "the talk" with my oldest when he was around 6. He started asking the first questions at around 41/2, and by 6 he was ready for the whole story. He is 9 now, and has told me that it is regular conversation with some of the boys at school....but he is sure they dont know what they are talking about...lol...that they are just repeating what they have heard. My youngest started asking around 5 and now he is 7 and knows all the details. I personally believe that it is important to educate and inform children young on the matter, especially if they are asking questions. I am 100% honest with my boys and in my opinion thats the only responsible way to handle it. If they are old enough to ask the question, they are old enough for an honest answer. They know more about sex than some adults I know...lol...
by
on Mar. 27, 2007 at 10:34 AM
Wow - what an interesting subject! My daughter will be 9 in April. She's always been the tall one in her class. Last year I noticed some body odor and had her start wearing deodorant. This year her body started developing and I've noticed that she's started to get pretty emotional...I've actually been thinking about having the talk with her soon, since I know that the next thing that will happen to her is her period! I really wasn't ready for her to be such an early developer, but I guess we can't stop nature!
She was having a hard time in the morning yesterday and couldn't explain to me why. I told her it's okay and that as a girl grows older she gets a little moody sometimes. I told her she'll probably notice a lot of changes in the next year or two and that she would probably start her period. I thought I had opened a huge can of worms with that one, but she didn't freak out and accepted that it's just a part of growing up.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't think it's too early to have the talk if you think your child is ready for it. I think you are the one that knows best if they have the maturity to keep the details to themselves. Things are starting so much earlier than when we were young. We need to protect our children and one of those ways is sharing our knowledge.
She was having a hard time in the morning yesterday and couldn't explain to me why. I told her it's okay and that as a girl grows older she gets a little moody sometimes. I told her she'll probably notice a lot of changes in the next year or two and that she would probably start her period. I thought I had opened a huge can of worms with that one, but she didn't freak out and accepted that it's just a part of growing up.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't think it's too early to have the talk if you think your child is ready for it. I think you are the one that knows best if they have the maturity to keep the details to themselves. Things are starting so much earlier than when we were young. We need to protect our children and one of those ways is sharing our knowledge.
by
on Mar. 27, 2007 at 10:56 AM
We had the "talk" with my then 9 year old last summer when he started asking questions, along with going through some of his own body changes. He didn't want to talk about it with anyone but his Daddy, so they did some guy stuff (went fishing then scouting for hunting spots) and talked as they went. It was more uncomfortable to my DH then for my SS, but it got it done.
by
on Mar. 28, 2007 at 9:52 AM
I have noticed that the kids that have older siblings are usually the one with the info on certain subjects.
Schools these days are also very proactive in teaching children, starting at Kindergarten, about stranger danger and keeping their "privates" private.
I am certain this will lead to the informer telling what they know.
My daughter is 6, and also told me she knew where babies come from. Before I could faint, I realized that she meant a Mommy's belly and then out from between her legs, but she was not talking in any way about sex or how the baby got their to begin with. So I now try to address only the actual part she is talking about and not the whole speil.
Things have certainly changed. I remember at at 15, my friends and I reading a bootlet copy of "Everythign You Wanted To Know About Sex" and it was a real education. Now a 15 year old could write the book.
There are also a lot of great age appropriate books out that help you set the facts straight. I'll be investing in one of those.
Schools these days are also very proactive in teaching children, starting at Kindergarten, about stranger danger and keeping their "privates" private.
I am certain this will lead to the informer telling what they know.
My daughter is 6, and also told me she knew where babies come from. Before I could faint, I realized that she meant a Mommy's belly and then out from between her legs, but she was not talking in any way about sex or how the baby got their to begin with. So I now try to address only the actual part she is talking about and not the whole speil.
Things have certainly changed. I remember at at 15, my friends and I reading a bootlet copy of "Everythign You Wanted To Know About Sex" and it was a real education. Now a 15 year old could write the book.
There are also a lot of great age appropriate books out that help you set the facts straight. I'll be investing in one of those.
by
on Mar. 28, 2007 at 6:19 PM
My son is 6 yrs old and in kindergaten, he ask questions about how babies are. He is three yrs older than his brother and when I was pregant questions were asked. I answered as best I could after all he was 3 at the time. Well with school I know the older ones educate the younger ones. My husband will be having the talk about everything, so he knows the truth, not storks and whatnot.
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