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Advice from Momma's....

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:52 AM
  • 10 Replies

Im currently expecting my 2nd, and have been having this feeling.... not really sure what to call the feeling.

I just feel bad, like Im taking something away from my son, and he will resent me for it. He wont have me 100% of the time, like he does now. Alot of people have told me that its good that Im having them close together because they will always know having each other. I just feel bad that Im taking away the 'only child' phase from my son, and he wont remember having had it.

I guess Im asking if anyone has felt this way, or has had similar feelings, and if the feelings went away...at all.

baby growth

pregnancy due date



by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Ashisexhausted1
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:55 AM

I did this. And my children are 5 years apart..even after she was born i felt horrible..almost kinda resented myself for having another child. But i got over it after i saw that my son loved her to death and was ok with sharing my time with his little sister.


mnmsmom2008
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:55 AM

My two are 26 months apart, I can relate to what you're saying.  A lot of fears of will they each get enough of my time, will they be jealous of the other, how will I love baby #2 as much as I love baby #1.  Trust me it all works out.  Once the little one is born, it will be like he/she has always been there.  My kids love each other SOOOOOO much, I think giving your child a sibling is an awesome gift.

judybant
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:55 AM

ALL I know is that from the age of 2 on, ALL my 6 year old has asked for is a baby sister for Christmas. Sadly, that's not going to happen. Your son will be fine, just as millions and millions of other children are fine when they get a sibling. Your love for him does not diminish when a new baby is born, it just adjusts to make room. If YOU get all emotional and irrational about it, HE will be all emotional and irrational about it. Go to the library and ask for books for kids about having a baby in the house, HELP Him look forward to the new baby. HE gets to help mold and teach the baby! Lots of first children tend to be 'leaders', because they got to help teach younger siblings. It's a GOOD thing!

always_sabrina
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:56 AM

 It's normal to feel that way....but trust me I have 6 kids (9,5,4,2,2,5mo) and once each one got here it was like they had always been with the rest of them. There maybe a little resentment at first but it quickly fades and he will be showing the new one of and being so proud that he is Big Brother

DaisyAg2003
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:56 AM

My oldest doesn't remember being an only child.  I don't think any of my kids feel like they are missing anything because there is more than one and they are so close together.

They are best friends, but there are days when I have to tell them they cannot play together.  :-)  They don't feel less loved because there are 4 of them.  There are times when I have to put one on hold to deal with another problem...usually a dirty diaper!...but I make up for it later.

You will be fine and your son will be fine.  Just involve him as much as possible with the new baby.  He can get diapers, help dress, etc.

Congratulations!

 

 

MKSmom09
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:58 AM

I got pregnant with my dd only 4mths after I had my ods.  They are 13.5 months apart.  My son loves his sister dearly and they are inseparable.  Don't worry about it, everything will be ok

imechard
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 8:59 AM

This is what happened this morning, my oldest woke up late, this is the first thing he yells: Little brother, where are you?

I LOVE seeing them together. The lesser amount of time that each of them gets individually is totally worth it to me. They argue sometimes and they are mean to each other sometimes, but they are the best of friends. The older one goes to school and was asked who his best friend was and it was his little brother. He would do anything for that little guy and the other way around. I am only going to be there so long, but they learn so much from each other, it is great to see.

They are a lot of work together and they exhaust ME, but I would totally do it again if I could. I do spend time with each of them seperately whenever I can, like I will take one to the store and DH will do something with the other. But they have a playmate and are never alone, they are LUCKY to have a sibling, it is such an amazing bond

ILive4This
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 9:02 AM

Yep...every time.  But, those are just our ideas....kids don't think we're taking anything away from them...their life is as they know it...they don't have preconceived notions.  Kwim?

SMS
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 9:05 AM

Well I have 4 kids, my oldest dd was born Nov. 1999, 2nd dd April 2002, 3rd dd Jan. 2003, and my son June 2006.  My middle 2 are approx. 9 months apart in age, and they are the best of friends.  My 2nd daughter was doing great in school went through a specal program to help her catch up so she could go to first grade and her younger sister is now in first grade with her needless to say she is doing great in school now.  The school that they go to had a grade called pre first for children that just aren't ready for first grade it gives them an extra year without holding them back, while she was in this grade her sister was in kinder.  Now with the oldest they don't get along as well since she is three years older same for my son who is 3 yrs younger.  Don't worry .

 

 Since 1999            Myra 11-1999    Eva 4-2002          Vira 1-2003          Max 4-2005   

 

Stewie 6-2006

DandieMandie
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 12:25 PM

BUMP

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