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Why wont he leave me alone?

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:22 AM
  • 9 Replies

My so called father was in and out of my life as a child. He was mostly gone unless it was a holiday. He always lied, hit us, and was just plain mean to us(me and my 2 brothers).  I hadnt talked to him in 3 yrs(and neither have my brothers) and my son doesnt know him or even know of him. He showed up at my work Saturday with his new gf( I was in shock) and expects me to just accept him with open arms. I have grown to not like him and I would prefere to live without him. His gf said she wants my son to know he has a grandpa and that they want to be around more often(this was the first time ive even met her). I cant even look this man in the eyes. I dont like him and dont want him around.  I dont want to be mean about it, so thats why I just quit talking to him and the only reason I did in the past is because he would look for me. I make no effort to contact him. He is a pathological lyer. I grew up with constant lies and being treated like crap. When I was 12, i met my half brother for the first time(one i never knew i had and havent seen since). I know he has at least 3 other children before me. Saturday, he told his gf  that I was his first born child. I dont know what kind of lies he's been telling her, but I know he's lying like hell to her because she doesnt understand why my lil brother stood him up Saturday and didnt want to see him, and he had to hunt me down(he didnt have my phone number and I didnt tell him where I work and he wouldnt tell me how he found out). He was saying things like calling me his precious baby girl, daddy's girl and saying overly mushy stuff to me(like you would an infant) and telling me how beautiful i am and such. And when I was eating, He said 'I just love to watch you eat, it just amazes me.' Ugh! I'm just freaked out by this. I'm 24 y/o. This is discusting to me. I'm not a child and I dont want to be talked to like this. And he's made up some fantasy life that we were a perfect famiy and acts like nothing wrong ever happened and talked about great memories of things involving my childhood that I know NEVER happened.  What do I do? Why cant he just get on with his life and leave me and my brothers alone.

by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:22 AM
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Replies (1-9):
butterflyflower
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:27 AM

bump

FaerieMommie23
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:31 AM

I would have called him out on it. Hes obviously lying to this woman to get her to think hes the perfect dad, my ex's do that with their new girlfriends all the time and they dont have a damn thing to do with my kids. As soon as theres a new girlfriend in the picture they're all about hanging around and buying them a buncha crap so they can play the good daddy role because lets face it, us women love that shit lol I would call him out next time, tell him and her both that hes full of crap. She needs to know the truth about him. I would also tell him to leave you alone and stay out of your life.


mna_823
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:32 AM

  I'm sorry girl.  I don't know how you feel exactly, but my mom is similar, only seen her a few times in the last 9 years and she acts like....like.....well, like I'm still her teenager.  I'm 26, she doesn't know me anymore and I don't know her.

  If history repeats itself it sounds like you won't have to put up with him for long.  Hang in there.

AUTHORofFICTION
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:33 AM

It sounds like he is trying to right a few wrongs that he has made in life. As you know, he can't just step back into your life and do this. I think you should let him know this. Most men are not capable of "subtle", sometimes you have to deliver the message straight and say what you mean to say. Good luck.

I WRITE BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO LEGALLY KILL SOMEONE.       

                            

diane08502
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:35 AM
Since he has been violent with you and your brothers, and since he is showing up at your job without being invited, I would seek a restraining order. You can say that it frightens you that he shows up because you dont know if he will be violent again. You need to keep him out of your life!! Of course, you also need your job, and he needs to stay away from there!!! Contact your local police department, ask them if they know of any agency you can ask for help, like maybe a domestic violence advocacy group or something. THis would give me the creeps, and I would not want ANYTHING to do with this guy, even if he is your father, you are soooo right, you need to go on with your life, and he needs to stay away from you and your son!!! Diane
dianelanglamorticella@yahoo.com
Brandyh
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:37 AM

flat out explain TO HER what a useless a-hole he was and that grandfather is not a title he earned.  Then explain to him that a) your willing to let him into your life slightly OR b) tell him he had his chance and that frankly you don't have time for him at this point in your life

scootermom
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:39 AM


Quoting FaerieMommie23:

I would have called him out on it. Hes obviously lying to this woman to get her to think hes the perfect dad, my ex's do that with their new girlfriends all the time and they dont have a damn thing to do with my kids. As soon as theres a new girlfriend in the picture they're all about hanging around and buying them a buncha crap so they can play the good daddy role because lets face it, us women love that shit lol I would call him out next time, tell him and her both that hes full of crap. She needs to know the truth about him. I would also tell him to leave you alone and stay out of your life.

I don't think you are going to be able to be subtle, most men don't understand when you try to be like that.  I"d say you are going to have to be flat out honest and blunt when you tell hlim how you feel.  I do agree though he maybe trying to right the wrongs he did with you, but doing it the wrong way and trying to impress his girlfriend.

amber_1024
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 11:42 AM

I do think it sounds as if he's trying to impress his gf.  If you are uncomfortable around him, then get a restraining order or else call him out on it.. Or simply quit answering his calls or drop by's at your work, talk to your boss and let them know what's going on with him... 

 

lvnmylif
by on Oct. 12, 2009 at 12:06 PM

It sounds like he is trying to convince his new GF he is the worlds best father.  I would call him personally and let him know if he ever contacted me again I would have a private conversation with her and tell her how he really is.  There is no real nice way to day I never want to have contact with you again.  If you do it nicely he probably wont take you seriously.

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