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A Baby Shower for Foster mom-to-be?

Posted by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:09 PM
  • 10 Replies

New Foster parents just like Birth parents need alot of things . Pregnant mom most of the time have a baby shower, but foster Mom's dont. Foster parents don't have a whole lot of time to prepare either mostly because they don't know what age or gender chld is going to be placed with them or when the are going to recieve a call for a placement. Has anyone heard of or ever been to a "baby" shower for a new foster/adoptive mom. What was it like? DId the Foster mom register? Is this something you would plan for a friend who was going to be Foster/adoptive mome. Would you be offended if you were invited to one. Please give your honest imput.

by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
iansusie
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:12 PM

I am not sure how I feel about it. I know a friend who wants to adopt, I would not throw her a baby shower unless, she already had everything in place for the adoption or more like once the adoption is finalized. I would definitely buy her gifts for the baby she is adopting. If she was fostering, I might get her a few essentials that a baby of any gender could use or even some diapers/wipes, or even let her use some of my baby stuff I no longer need.

Ixchel183
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:13 PM

i've never been to one or heard of it but i think it's a swell idea. they need things just as much as any other parents.

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bablondie
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:15 PM

It sounds awesome, but I would do just a giveaway party, where they can get used items from friends and family (or new) to help them out. Foster parents always need stuff but a "shower" seems over the top only b/c you NEVER know how long they are going to keep a child, it could be only a week. But if I had a friend who was going to be a foster parent, I'd surely offer some old clothing, toys, and things in my garage.


Tips, ideas, shopping, health, moms, Gluten-free, quick recipes, frugal living, reviews, weight loss efforts, funny stuff and more! bablondie.blogspot.com

MikeysMom51108
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:15 PM

When I was younger (maybe 11 or 12), my mom's friend adopted a baby. The baby was a newborn, and she had adopted it from a friend of hers.

Anyway, my mom and some other people threw a baby shower for her. It was a couple weeks after the baby was born though--just to make sure everything actually went through as planned and the birth mother didn't change her mind or anything.

It was pretty much the same as a regular baby shower, except the baby was already there!

I have no idea if she was registered anywhere or not. If I got invited to a baby shower for an adoptive mom, I would definitely go! I love baby showers!! Heck, even if someone was adopting and older child, I'd still go to a shower for them!


**EDIT: I just realized you're talking about foster parents....in that case, I agree with "bablondie"....Do a giveaway party of some sort because you don't know how long the child will be there.

bablondie
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:16 PM
If this is an ADOPTIVE mom and they are there long-term (not a temp foster parent) then I'd totally go and do it!


Tips, ideas, shopping, health, moms, Gluten-free, quick recipes, frugal living, reviews, weight loss efforts, funny stuff and more! bablondie.blogspot.com

JaydenMatthew
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:17 PM

hmmmm. never thought about it but I guess it would depend on how long the child would be there. Some foster children are placed for 3 days til their court date some are placed for 6 months. Foster care is short term for the most part, so it would be tricky how you would do it and get other parents to show up.

matofour
by Gold Member on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:18 PM

There is a HUGE difference between a foster mom, and an adoptive mom.

An adoptive mom is adopting this child as its own, while she could not carry the pregnacy, the child is HERS.  And, a baby shower in that case if wonderful (although most adoptive parents like to wait until placement has happened).

A FOSTER MOM, is not keeping the child, and the child could be in the house for as little as a day, and as long as years.  Plus, the state also gives money to the foster mother (while, yes, I understand that is very little money),they are still getting money.  And, the odds are the child will go back to its biological child.  Also, lots of foster parents foster many kids, of all ages. I don't think there is any need for a baby shower in this case. 

rebeccasmommy09
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:20 PM

 Some friends of ours adopted a baby from China a couple years ago and we had a baby shower for them. As a pp said, adoptive parents need things just like any pregnant new mommy does. Their baby was almost a year old when they got her so we focused on things they would need for that age range. I think for a foster parent, a shower may be a little over the top only because there's no telling how long they will have the child in their custody. I think hand-me-downs (unless someone really wanted to buy new) would be more appropriate for that situation.

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Phoenix_sp
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 5:21 PM

I agree, never heard of it but its an awesome idea!

Quoting Ixchel183:

i've never been to one or heard of it but i think it's a swell idea. they need things just as much as any other parents.


Sarah 10-85 & DH 03-87  DS 11-06 & DD 05-08 & EDD 02-10


AJmum
by on Oct. 13, 2009 at 6:07 PM
Exactly, I am not sure if you know the difference. Foster Mom's also get paid for caring for the children. So while I may give things I may no longer use I would not throw a shower. For an adoptive mom absolutly.
Quoting matofour:

There is a HUGE difference between a foster mom, and an adoptive mom.

An adoptive mom is adopting this child as its own, while she could not carry the pregnacy, the child is HERS.  And, a baby shower in that case if wonderful (although most adoptive parents like to wait until placement has happened).

A FOSTER MOM, is not keeping the child, and the child could be in the house for as little as a day, and as long as years.  Plus, the state also gives money to the foster mother (while, yes, I understand that is very little money),they are still getting money.  And, the odds are the child will go back to its biological child.  Also, lots of foster parents foster many kids, of all ages. I don't think there is any need for a baby shower in this case. 


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