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DH/SO Bashing

Posted by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:51 PM
  • 35 Replies

I have come to the conclusion that I am one of the "odd ball" women here on CafeMom.

I don't complain about my hubby here. While I know that people need a place to vent, there are a couple reasons that I choose not to. The biggest reason I don't is the whole "misery loves company" mentality is a little more than I can handle. If I am frustrated with my hubby, I am not looking for people to bash him, or tell me what a horrible person he is. That only magnifies my negative feelings instead of helping me work through them and get to the other side.

I don't understand how a person can read about a single incident that has happened in someones marriage/relationship and respond with something like "your DH/SO sounds like a douche" (I read that one a lot). Really? So out of an X amount of years it all boils down to a single incident for people to have a free for all on someone?

I love my husband. In fact, love is probably not even a strong enough word. I adore all things about him, but he isn't perfect. I don't need people tearing him down just because I am having a bad day, and he is annoying me.

Don't get me wrong. The posts about abuse & cheating I get. I am even guilty of voicing an occasional opinion on those posts. I am talking about the ones where the woman is simply frustrated by a bump in the road she has hit with her DH/SO.  


"It is in our obligation to endure that we achieve the right to know."
~My Dad   




"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men" 
~Fredrick Douglass

by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mirandas_mom
by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:53 PM

I have never  complained about my husband.  I have nothing to complain about. We get along great, (of course we bicker sometimes and move on) and we're best friends. He's a wonderful dad and stepdad, a great provider, what more can I want?

imechard
by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:54 PM

I agree, this morning my DH WAS a douche! But that does not mean that he is always like that, I was just frustrated this morning. I do not complain about him here

jillbailey26
by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:54 PM

I don't complain or bash mine on here either.  When you do that, people only see or hear the bad things about your husband and rarely any good things.  Then they start to think you're married to a not so great man.



Erna2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:54 PM

I am with you. I adore my dh and I can't bash him and listen to a bunch of women who don't even know him join in....


sweetnsassymami
by Ruby Member on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:55 PM

I don't vent on here about dh either....I tell another cm member on here alot of things that are bothering me or I talk to my sisters.


bobnliz
by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:55 PM

I agree....

retsillacam
by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:56 PM

I agree with everything that you said. I also think it would be disrespectful to vent about him here and have everyone  bash him. I don't feel that's right. I wouldn't want him to do that to me, so I won't do it to him.

                                                                           

amoret1234
by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:57 PM

I feel the same way you ladies fill. I am not married yet, but am recently engaged to the love of my life, we have our ups and downs just like every other couple. But I dont think I could ever come on here and have people tear him apart for him having one really bad day! 

deltacogirl
by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 4:59 PM

I made the mistake of asking for advice one time about a sticky situation with my husband, and basically all I got back was "leave the jerk" or the like.  Um, no.  We've been married for 3 years, which have largely been very happy years.  We had a bump in the road, we needed to work past it.  I think what starts out as healthy venting or a genuine advice question can very quickly turn into a woman questioning why she is with her man.  That's not typically healthy.  I know there are a lot of women on here who have been really hurt by the men in their lives, and a lot of the anger is probably stemming from that a bit.  But I think we need to be careful about what we say about our husbands.  My approach is that if I can't say it to him, I shouldn't be saying it to anyone else.

HouseKatof2
by on Oct. 29, 2009 at 5:03 PM

Thanks ladies. It is nice to see that I am not alone!

I get so blown away sometimes to sign on here and see post after post about women being mad at their DH/SO's. So much of it is over trivial stuff too.

Like a PP said, My hubby would be so upset if he knew I was posting about it here for all the world to see. I could take that same energy and actually work through it with him.  


"It is in our obligation to endure that we achieve the right to know."
~My Dad   




"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men" 
~Fredrick Douglass

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