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HAHAHAHA adoption?!?! ETA for the nasties!
posted to Newcomers Club - Active discussion
in The CafeMom Newcomers Club
on Nov. 5, 2009 at 7:54 AM
- 122 Replies
- 2592 Total Views
That cracks me up. People saying "oh don't abort, adopt, people want to adopt all the time"
O.K. Then explain the over-abundance of children in the state's care. Explain the thousands of teens who will age out and have no money and no support. Oh, wait, they get what? $200 and some bus tokens. That helps alot. :eyeroll:
The *only* children that people want to adopt are newborns from the perfect background. And even now, they are getting picky on how the mother/father look, or their intelligence.
It's disgusting. People are "desperate" for a child, alright. A "perfect" child.
ETA for the ladies who PMd me nasty things. Yes. I plan to adopt. Not right now, as we can't afford another child, and our son is only 10 months. But I do plan on it. We want a little girl. And I'm looking into adopting either a Down's Syndrome or Autisic child, because I know that she will age out. So yes, I am proactive. Now, what are YOU doing?
proud 20 year old mommy to the love of my life Wyatt, born 01.08.09 and totally in love to my Marine Patrick since 01.10.08
Replies:
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- by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 7:58 AM
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MY parents adopted my brother from Ukraine at age 5. They actually decided to go out of the country because it was much easier to adopt and faster. And getting a child instead of an infant was even easier.
America makes it so difficult to adopt a child.
I am Jaime a 21 (almost 22) full time mommy, wife and student. I am a CIO, tough love, coats in the car, non religous, open minded, pro choice, pro gay marriage, poker player kind of mom.
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- by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 7:59 AM
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Before I had dd, I was going thru all kinds of infertility specialists, testing, etc. We looked into adopting for a little while. My dh and I are both white and we were told by the adoption agency we couldn't adopt a racially mixed child. We were told because the child would lose out on their heritage and be raised as a white child. We were crushed! I thought it might be better to raise a child that is mixed with two parents than to live in foster care forever. I guess we were wrong!
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- by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 7:59 AM
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Right now in National Foster Care there are 165,000 adoptable children waiting for homes.
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- by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 8:00 AM
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yeap, and they will stay there til they age out.
Quoting CTRedSoxMom:
Right now in National Foster Care there are 165,000 adoptable children waiting for homes.
proud 20 year old mommy to the love of my life Wyatt, born 01.08.09 and totally in love to my Marine Patrick since 01.10.08
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- by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 8:05 AM
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The US government does make it difficult to adopt a child. I have a cousin that tried to adopt another one of my cousin's baby because CPS had taken the child from the mother's care. We went to court and the courtsystem would not allow her to adopt because she did not make enough money and was living in an income based apartment building. Kristy and her husband Shane cannot have children because of an issue with Shane and so she desperately wanted another child(she has an 8yo from a previous marriage)
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- by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 8:06 AM
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Most will, some will not.
When I was younger I worked at a behavior health facility and I worked with these kids. They would keep them in our facility until they found placement for them, and it was near impossible for most of the children. It was heartbreaking.
I had to resign because 3 days of the week I would go home after being assaulted by a patient, and the other 2, I would cry from the newest case that came through the doors.The sad things is, all the people advocating that women adopt out their babies do not know that if the baby is a product of rape, the likelihood of it being adopted drops. If the mother or father have a history of mental illness, likelihood of adoption drops. If the baby is a female, likelihood drops, if the baby is a mixed race, or of anything but white decent, the likelihood drops. If the baby has ANY illness such as mental retardation, genetic illness, or ANYTHING, the likelihood drops greatly.
Quoting USMCBride08:
yeap, and they will stay there til they age out.
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- by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 8:08 AM
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My brother is adopted as an infant.........an my parents already had 4 other children at the time......I consider us Blessed. Course this was 30 years ago. I am VERY THANKFUL to his mother for NOT aborting!
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- by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 8:08 AM
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exactly.
Quoting CTRedSoxMom:
Most will, some will not.
When I was younger I worked at a behavior health facility and I worked with these kids. They would keep them in our facility until they found placement for them, and it was near impossible for most of the children. It was heartbreaking.
I had to resign because 3 days of the week I would go home after being assaulted by a patient, and the other 2, I would cry from the newest case that came through the doors.The sad things is, all the people advocating that women adopt out their babies do not know that if the baby is a product of rape, the likelihood of it being adopted drops. If the mother or father have a history of mental illness, likelihood of adoption drops. If the baby is a female, likelihood drops, if the baby is a mixed race, or of anything but white decent, the likelihood drops. If the baby has ANY illness such as mental retardation, genetic illness, or ANYTHING, the likelihood drops greatly.
Quoting USMCBride08:
yeap, and they will stay there til they age out.
proud 20 year old mommy to the love of my life Wyatt, born 01.08.09 and totally in love to my Marine Patrick since 01.10.08
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- by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 8:08 AM
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Than on top of the fact that the babies aren't adopted, some wind up being tortured in foster homes that aren't followed closely. Or the parents keep them and beat and torture them for the rest of their lives--however short some end up being.
And while I don't think you really meant this to be an abortion post (we know its going to end that way with a lot of pro-lifers), you have to think yes abortion is evil, but in the end it is often the LESS of the two evils available...I'd rather have a fetus life end within 20min, than watch it be raped and beaten and have many things done to it (look at all the recent news on many of these cases that have happened) for sometimes over a year till it dies from the trauma.
I would love to conceive, but I wouldn't mind adopting. My only criteria at this point is a male child under 2 years of age, race does not matter to us, and we will even handle moderate disabilities. Will the system allow us...we've been on a "waiting" list to be approved to even begin looking for 3 years now.
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- by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 8:09 AM
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Quoting Mover:
Before I had dd, I was going thru all kinds of infertility specialists, testing, etc. We looked into adopting for a little while. My dh and I are both white and we were told by the adoption agency we couldn't adopt a racially mixed child. We were told because the child would lose out on their heritage and be raised as a white child. We were crushed! I thought it might be better to raise a child that is mixed with two parents than to live in foster care forever. I guess we were wrong!
That's stupid. My son is 1/4 mexican(his dad looked full mexican) and a white couple was allowed to adopt him. Maybe it's the agency you went through.
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