Sister and Mom fight: over me sleeping with boyfriend
I tried to make this as short as I could. Sorry it's so long.
My boyfriend, my mom, and myself are going to another state to visit my sister for the weekend. With us and my sister's family...there will be 10 people in the house. my sister made arrangements of who will sleep with who. of course she put my boyfriend and I together in one bed. I asked my mom if she would feel comfortable with me sleeping with my BF..and my mom said she doesn't like that and would prefer if we didn't.
That's no problem for me, i don't mind and i told my sister that. Well my sister got all mad because she already made the plans and doesn't want to change them. She called my mom..and they argued over it..my mom saying we are NOT sleeping together..and my sister saying we ARE.
Let me add, that my mom believes that no matter how old her children are
(my sister is 35, i'm 26)
we still have to listen to her because she is the parent and we are her children. My sister is trying to put her foot down with this saying she is a grown women, it's HER house, and HER RULES...and if my mom doesn't like it..she is then uninvited.
SOOOO...as of yesterday, my mom was uninvited. But today (i guess after a cool off period overnight) my sister said that my mom can come. My mom is thinking about it. They both aren't giving in though...my sister says we are sleeping together and my mom still says no.
MY QUESTION- if my mom goes...Should I go along with my sister and sleep with BF...or should I not because of my mom. I keep telling my sister that I don't mind sleeping away from him but she said she is not giving in to mom.
UGH!!!!!! any advice???
BF and I do not live together...but he comes and stays every weekend at my house. My mom knows that....but i guess she doesn't want us sleeping together when she is around. My sister says mom is just trying to control me and i'm letting her.
You're an adult, you can make your own decisions. When you turned 18 your mother lost any control over you lol.. It's also your sisters house, your mother is overstepping her boundries majorly.
I'd sleep with my boyfriend.. I wouldn't expect my sister to change all the arrangements at all. That's rude of your mother, extremely rude and overbearing.
Now if it was my mother's home, I'd respect that.
If it were me, I would sleep separate from BF as a good example to the young children in the house since BF and I are not married. Never mind Mom. We travelled with my inlaws' family before we were married and this is what I did. I was 33 at the time. So I was the kids' uncle's GF at the time. I think it is just more respectful to the kids.
ummm, you're 26!!! Do you live together? Unless you don't live together and there are little kids there that will question why you are sleeping in the same room as he is and why thats okay, I would sleep where you sister is trying to put you unless it makes YOU uncomfortable. I think your mom needs to accept that you are 26 not 16.
I say you're 26 years old...do what you want. Do you guys live together now or does your mom know if/when you guys stay the night with each other? I mean, really, you're on cafemom, so I'm assuming you have kid(s), so she knows you been in bed with a man before...what's the big deal? Is your BF your child's father? Not being personal, but if he is, then I REALLY don't see the problem, lol. Ultimately, I think I'd side with sis, but explain to mom that it's just more convenient and causes less of a hassle than to rearrange your sisters arrangements.
ETA: I do agree with the other posters about if there are other children in the house and setting an example. If there are, you need to set an example to them by sleeping seperately....unless that's not an example the parents of the children care about...However, when we went on vacation with my entire family my sis and her BF slept in the same bed and me and my DH were in the other bed, same room. When my 6 yo neice asked where we slept she told her that me and my sis slept in the same bed and the 2 boys slept in the same bed (hahahaha). Also, my neice asked who my sister lived with and she said by herself...(she lives in MN w/her BF, the rest of us are in GA). My neice bought it.
Quoting celticreverie:
You're an adult, you can make your own decisions. When you turned 18 your mother lost any control over you lol.. It's also your sisters house, your mother is overstepping her boundries majorly.
I'd sleep with my boyfriend.. I wouldn't expect my sister to change all the arrangements at all. That's rude of your mother, extremely rude and overbearing.
Now if it was my mother's home, I'd respect that.
I agree with you i do. But that confused me lol
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sounds like my mother *hugs* sorry hon. i totally know what its like to have a mom who treats you like a child even when your an adult. im 25 and my mom still 'grounds' me (im living with her, and its the only place i got so im kinda stuck untill i finish school)
i would sleep with your boyfriend. you are an adult. a woman. a MOTHER. its NONE of your mothers business what you are doing. i do agree that if you are living with your mother, (as i am at the moment) there is a level of respect and guidelines that must be followed. but this is your sisters house, not your mothers. and i agree with your sister on this.
I believe that both you and your sister, should respect your mothers wishes. I don't know about being any age and "following her rules"...but I do believe that at any age, you should show respect to your parents. If she feels stronly about it, why not go along??
im still scared of my mom lol so if she told me no i would listen
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