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Abuse question

Seans_mommy123

posted to Newcomers Club - Active discussion in The CafeMom Newcomers Club
on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:35 PM

  • 20 Replies
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One of the biggest things in the world that pisses me off is child abusers. I hate them and think they should all die. Anyways...My mom came to me asking questions about what is abuse and what is a pedophile. I told her the definitions as I know them from the Social Work courses I took (one of which was on child abuse). Me being me then asked why she wanted to know and she was hesitant at first but then told me. Apparently my cousin (who is 12) told his mother his father has been climbing into bed with him. My aunt and My cousin's father are not married and don't live together. Apparently it was also mentioned that that his father was in boxers only and had a woody. From what I understand this has happened before. My mother was going over to my cousin's to see if he would talk to her and if she could find out more.

My question to everyone is...Do you think a grown man (even though a parent) should be climbing into bed with his 12 year old son. The father has his own room and bed so there isn't a need to be in the same bed as his child. Do you think this would be considered abuse??  Would you consider his father a pedophile? I have my own opinion about it but I was wanting to hear what everyone else has to say.

Written by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:35 PM

Replies:


  • kimber2431
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:37 PM
  • bump for ya.. but i think it depends on the whole story and ALL of the facts so i can't make a judgement . good luck though i hope it isn't happening :(

  • omgamomie
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:38 PM
  • Need to know the whole story. But... I would feel that it uncomfortable to be in bed with the 12 year old in boxers with a woody. That is borderline for me. But... need to know the whole story.

  • jbaldwin13
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:38 PM
  • I would consider it abuse. and yes he does sound like a pedophile.

  • faeryheart
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:38 PM
  • he sounds like a pedophile to me.the child needs to be kept away from him, he also needs to be taken seriously, please don't let this be ignored. that man should be arrested.  

  • HLoeffler08
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:39 PM
  • I don't know! That is a kinda hard thing to say! I would know for sure first before I did anything!

  • marmie41
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:39 PM
  • A parent climbing into bed with their 12 yr old child does not constitute abuse.  It is what happens while the parent is in the bed with child that would be abuse.

    I have climbed in to bed with both kids (ds/dd) when they were teenagers and younger.  It was for nightmares, or because they were sad, or when their grandfather died.  

  • usmchoney
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:40 PM

  • Quoting kimber2431:

    bump for ya.. but i think it depends on the whole story and ALL of the facts so i can't make a judgement . good luck though i hope it isn't happening :(


  • Mamie_85
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:40 PM
  • Suspicious behavior that needs to be investigated, but taken seriously for sure.

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  • totallysober
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:42 PM
  • There is no reason for a grown man with a woody to be climbing into a 12 year old boy's bed in the middle of the night. That is a classic sign of sexual abuse and if he hasn't already molested that boy, if someone doesn't step in and stop that behavior immediately, it in all likely hood will escalate to molestation.


  • Pinkmankie
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 5:43 PM
  • I don't think that a father sleeping in the same bed as his child is abuse.  What happens when they are in the bed is what counts.  When my husband is away I sleep with both of my children.  So will my husband.  I need to hear more of this story to give an answer.

     

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