my kid's dad moved to colorado. didnt tell anyone (as in me or CSEA). i am. i'm sick of his shit. i really want to write him- through myspace- that he's a worthless piece of shit, that he cant even fucking be a dad. he took my son's game system- and sold it. i gave him $20- expecting to get paid back, so he could get his daughter some shit (diapers and whatever... supposedly).
i'm pissed. i'm beyond fucking pissed. he has all these fucking nasty ass pics up- him sticking his face in teh ass of a 16 year old (yea- she is 16.. and no, its not against the law, even tho he's 23)... him holding a gun, him smoking, having pills, etc. it seems like he was growing up, but boom- nope. he's still the same fucking stupid ass child that will never fucking grow up.
i want to write him! so fucking badly. i want to tell him that he fucking doesnt deserve the life that he has. he has fucking THREE kids! and he does nothing for them.. that he's a worthless biological father and that my boyfriend is a better fucking dad than him- cuz he actually sticks around!
i just dont know what to do-- i want to just fucking go crazy on his ass.. but then i dont cuz i dont want it to go against me in court.. but then, honestly- who gives a fuck?! i have full custody, never been in trouble, other than speeding (my last was in april- my son's school called, said his temp was 104 and thats when the swine flu came out so i freaked, sped to his school, but got pulled over instead). he's out doing illegal shit.... plus if it comes down to it, i could live with my mom in australia.. or i could just move to japan (where i have citizenship. relearning that language wouldnt be THAT hard).
ahhh! i really, really just want to fucking cut his dick off.
Can I just ask, why did you have children with someone like this?
young. stupid. honestly, at the time, he wasnt THAT bad- he did weed... but thats about it. I was 16 and really, REALLY stupid. the girl before him (his first childs mom) supposedly cheated on him, so the chance of that being his kid was like 1/3, but he was "gonna be a man and take care of the kid"... he twists everything around to fit his needs/wants. she cheated on him- 2 years BEFORE her pregnancy. i couldnt talk to her (since it was all drama), so i never got her side, heard his only.. and in my eyes, the eyes of a rebellious 16 year old, he was like a god
when i was with him, he was working like 60 hours, at a real job (construction), making $15/hr. i left about 3 months into my pregnancy (went into fostercare cuz i was acting so badly).. came back and he was already with his third BM... and then he started into the perks, cocaine, guns, etc, blah, blah, blah
Quoting JulyBabies:
Can I just ask, why did you have children with someone like this?
Hon just be thankful he is out of the picture. You and the kids are very fortunate he isn't in your life! Keep it that way and move on!
As good as I know it would make you feel to go off on him, don't. It will only cause a ton of headaches. Just focus on your child and be glad that he doesn't see what his dad really is. Be glad that his dad isn't influencing him in any way. Be glad that you and your BF are raising your child and offering him a safe and secure environment.
Trust me, I know how you feel. My ex husband has three, maybe four children (the fourth mom is married and doesn't want to know which of two guys fathered her child because her husband is raising him). My ex hasn't seen my daughter in a year. And only sporadic visits the two years prior, (shes 3). He doesn't acknowledge birthdays or christmas and doesn't pay child support. Yet, his current wife used to post on her myspace every day what a perfect husband he was to her and perfect dad he is to their baby.
I finally had to make myself stop looking and stop caring. My daughter is well taken care of, my DF is amazing to me and her, I have created a safe world for my child to grow up in. (well, as best a mom can do) She doesn't know he exists and doesn't lose sleep at night-why should I care?
Yeah, I hate him and want to do horrible things. But, that isn't going to change anything. Its not going to make him a better person or make him want to be a father. Don't let your loser ex run your life. You and your child deserve much better. Trust me.
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on Nov. 6, 2009 at 10:35 PM